All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "As Trade Winds Sing"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
55 total reviews
Comment from Pili Pubul
Such beautiful poem, free playful loving until the day to say adieu, so terribly sad, but love never dies and memories remain forever .
Thank you so much for sharing. Pili
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Such beautiful poem, free playful loving until the day to say adieu, so terribly sad, but love never dies and memories remain forever .
Thank you so much for sharing. Pili
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much Pili - :) Sharyn
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You very welcome Sharin. Pili
Comment from Kiki12
I think even if I wait till tomorrow, I can't give you another six for a little while longer. this is stunning, what a beautiful rondeau. You've created lyrical alliteration and perfect rhyme with a soft serene message to match. I absolutely love this poem-
xx
Kiki
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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I think even if I wait till tomorrow, I can't give you another six for a little while longer. this is stunning, what a beautiful rondeau. You've created lyrical alliteration and perfect rhyme with a soft serene message to match. I absolutely love this poem-
xx
Kiki
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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hey, thanks so much kiki! I was pleased with how this one turned out, after some considerable pummelling! :)Sharyn
Comment from reconciled
Hi Sharyon...-smile- Wonderful write of a love kept forever young. Never been scuba diving...must be a memorable experience. Anyway...really good stuff...love Michael
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Hi Sharyon...-smile- Wonderful write of a love kept forever young. Never been scuba diving...must be a memorable experience. Anyway...really good stuff...love Michael
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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thanks so much Michael! :)S - snorkel is easier!
Comment from country ranch writer
Love the ocean and the memories it brings and the dreams of yesterdays gone by. Cast his ashes to the wind so he too can feel the wind in his face and it sweet embrace beckoning him into the sea to play with the dolphins and the fish
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Love the ocean and the memories it brings and the dreams of yesterdays gone by. Cast his ashes to the wind so he too can feel the wind in his face and it sweet embrace beckoning him into the sea to play with the dolphins and the fish
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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thx so much crw! :))Sharyn
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WELCOME
Comment from Joy Graham
This is lovely. I love the color presentation and your picture. Makes me want to go to the beach. We're planning a trip to Mexico in December and plan to try snorkeling so I was captivated by that part of your poem. The ending is very sad and emotional. Very nice. I had to read it several times best wishes to you in this contest, my talented friend! I got a little confused with your rhymes of adieu and into. I can't find any reason for them not to work, just me I guess.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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This is lovely. I love the color presentation and your picture. Makes me want to go to the beach. We're planning a trip to Mexico in December and plan to try snorkeling so I was captivated by that part of your poem. The ending is very sad and emotional. Very nice. I had to read it several times best wishes to you in this contest, my talented friend! I got a little confused with your rhymes of adieu and into. I can't find any reason for them not to work, just me I guess.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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thx for your note Joy - I added a little author note - "adieu" is pronounced with the standard "Westernized" pronunciation here - thus "adYOU" rather than the traditional French - hope that helps! So difficult to find enough rhymes that make sense! :)S
Comment from Glasstruth
From the title it sounded ordinary, but as I read it I could feel the magic of the ocean's deep beauty. Diving, and seeing the corals I've never done. After reading this I see I'm missing something. Good luck with the contest. Les
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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From the title it sounded ordinary, but as I read it I could feel the magic of the ocean's deep beauty. Diving, and seeing the corals I've never done. After reading this I see I'm missing something. Good luck with the contest. Les
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Thanks so much Les - go snorkeling! it's a whole 'nother world under there dear! :)S
Comment from Taffspride
I am glad I had a six left for this beautiful rondeau. When I opened my messages and saw the title, I smiled expecting something great, and
Sharyn, I was not disappointed.
As I read this aloud, I could feel the trade winds, warm and gently perfumed. The imagery in this poem was amazing. Your words apoealed to all of the senses. I can close my eyes now and see, hear, taste and smell the ocean.
Most of all I feel the love. Your closing lines brought tears to my eyes. So sad.
Good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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I am glad I had a six left for this beautiful rondeau. When I opened my messages and saw the title, I smiled expecting something great, and
Sharyn, I was not disappointed.
As I read this aloud, I could feel the trade winds, warm and gently perfumed. The imagery in this poem was amazing. Your words apoealed to all of the senses. I can close my eyes now and see, hear, taste and smell the ocean.
Most of all I feel the love. Your closing lines brought tears to my eyes. So sad.
Good luck in the contest.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Ann, you always write the most beautiful reviews! Thank you SO much for enjoying this one, and for your wonderful six!
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from Eternal Muse
That was a brilliantly written Rondeau, executed to perfection, total compliance with a technical form, and yet there is so much freedon and fantasy in your composition.
I can feel the warm air of Hawaii as I read through this. Stunning presentation.
I loved those:
As tradewinds sing through silken air
and palm fronds whisper softest prayer,
by ocean's pounding, frothy blue
on soft-spun sand, I smile at you,
and slide my fingers through your hair.
A sad ending which brought tears to my eyes, thinking of my mother I lost six years ago.
Brilliant. Wow..
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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That was a brilliantly written Rondeau, executed to perfection, total compliance with a technical form, and yet there is so much freedon and fantasy in your composition.
I can feel the warm air of Hawaii as I read through this. Stunning presentation.
I loved those:
As tradewinds sing through silken air
and palm fronds whisper softest prayer,
by ocean's pounding, frothy blue
on soft-spun sand, I smile at you,
and slide my fingers through your hair.
A sad ending which brought tears to my eyes, thinking of my mother I lost six years ago.
Brilliant. Wow..
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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YEAH!! Thanks so much Sally! High praise indeed - isn't this your sponsored competition? Thank you so much for giving me a chance to try my hand at a rondeau - I particularly appreciate it not being a 'blind' entry. Thank you so much for that wonderful six!
:)Sharyn
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My name is Yelena, dear, not Sally. Yes, this is my sponsored contest.
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Good Lord! Yelena my humble apologies! I don't know where "Sally" came from!
Comment from Selina Stambi
Ooh, I love the refrain ... "as trade winds sing" ....
What a picture you've created - like a little movie. One sees her frolicking with her beloved and then the cremation is finalized as the ashes blow away.
LOVE the pretty alliteration.
Incredible - I really hope you win, dear! :)
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Ooh, I love the refrain ... "as trade winds sing" ....
What a picture you've created - like a little movie. One sees her frolicking with her beloved and then the cremation is finalized as the ashes blow away.
LOVE the pretty alliteration.
Incredible - I really hope you win, dear! :)
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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oh good!! I'm so glad you liked this one Twinnie - the writing of it drove me nuts!
:)Sharyn
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I Loved it!
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I Loved it!
Comment from Opal H.
What a sweet poem, Sharyn! It's really like being transported to a beach! Beautiful scenes described!
By the way... didn't you ask me if I was posting anything? If you're interested, I entered a story into a writing prompt (and won it)... :)
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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What a sweet poem, Sharyn! It's really like being transported to a beach! Beautiful scenes described!
By the way... didn't you ask me if I was posting anything? If you're interested, I entered a story into a writing prompt (and won it)... :)
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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I'll take a peek Opal! good for you - and thx for reading mine. And you WON??? CONGRATULATIONS!! Now I'll DEFINITELY have to take a peek!
:)Sharyn