Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Back and Forth"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

83 total reviews 
Comment from snemes
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You made me cry with this one. So beautiful and tender. It's sad, yet there is something uplifting about it. He is only temporarily out of sight. The love lives on in our hearts and minds. It's truly a privilege to have been allowed to share your glorious memories.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
    oh thank you so much for 'getting' this piece my dear - it was a special write for me ... bless you, too, for your wonderful six!
    Best wishes
    Sharyn
Comment from Glasstruth
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

At the gym, you and your sixteen year old son is represented by you rowing as time rides through the water as you wrote:

"we're connected
by
our
fluid
thread
of
time"

Love the structure of the poem. Reads smoothly. Keep rowing and writing stuff like this. Superb! Les

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 18-Mar-2013
    Thank you SO much Les - I was hoping you'd like this one!! A HUGE thank you for the lovely six, too!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sharyn,

This is a magnificent poem!!

Loved how you created the effect of 'almost shock' and 'time slowing down for a few seconds' by placing extra spacing between some of your lines ... also creates great impact for the reader. Fave line ... "we're connected by our fluid thread of time" ... brilliant! Many heart-warming images were created for your reader. Great job Sharyn!

bichonfrisegirl aka Connie

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    oh bless you Connie - I was hoping you'd love this one too! I so appreciate that lovely six - it was a piece that was a special write for me.
    Blessings,
    Sharyn
reply by bichonfrisegirl on 17-Mar-2013
    And that 'special' really shines through in the poem Sharyn!

    Connie
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is quite beautiful. the imagery you convey is stunning and I felt as though I were along for the ride. Very powerful, deeply moving and well written poem.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    Thank you! :)
Comment from poesyapprentice
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh what loveliness you show with this piece! It really is perfect! Wonderful transitions from present to past and back again, beautiful imagery, spot-on form which leads the reader (flowing as you intend), sincerely felt sentiment... just delightful, every bit!

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    oh I'm so glad you enjoyed this one poesy! big thx for your lovely six on it - it was special for me :)Sharyn
reply by poesyapprentice on 17-Mar-2013
    Darlin, it was a special one for those who read it too! Just a lovely piece. XX
Comment from GWinterwin
Excellent
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Very pretty poem about you, growing on the river with your father. Sounds like it was a fun time for you and with many good memories. Writing told interesting and happy story about the time of your childhood and the good memories of.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    thx so much GW! :)S
Comment from Opal H.
Excellent
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Memories are such powerful things aren't they. They keep us in touch with everything we come to cherish and allows us to relive them at will.

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    Indeed they do ... :)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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Oh I want to see more of these. This is quite a different one for you and I love this side of you. Easy to read and I know i for one have been down this road .

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    It is a different side of me Barb - thank you for noticing and for your lovely comments.
    :)Sharyn
reply by Barb Hensongispsaca on 17-Mar-2013
    I want more of these please. I am serious
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    happy to oblige Barb - I'm often serious - maybe you've missed some of those!
    :))S
reply by Barb Hensongispsaca on 17-Mar-2013
    Your new writes are supposed to come automatically but I will review some of your portfolio
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    sometimes they don't come to you if they're entered in a 'blind' competition Barb.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    Take a peek at "One Pure Note" - one of my favorites! :)))
Comment from Patti R.
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow,
Sharyn - six stars because I just went rowing with you two!

I could smell morning air over water. I saw the river and it hurt my eyes (where's my sunnies?) when the drips explode with sunlight re-entering the brown water ...ah.

That must have been so wonderful for you.

What a mind you have! What a heart!)

Patti

(you go to a gym?!)

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    yeah Patti! thank you so much for your lovely six on this one - and did you notice I did it GREY, JUST FOR YOU!!!??? And NOW you complain about water drops????? OMG girl I can't win!! Seriously though, thank you so much! :)Sharyn
Comment from Kayesteps
Excellent
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What a phenomenal way to express a spiritual journey to the afterlife. Like a time machine this poems transports the reader through a real life activity to a distinctive river setting with so many vidvid details revealed in beautiful poetic images. I believe you saw your father on that river. I know I did. Fantastic:)))

 Comment Written 17-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 17-Mar-2013
    I did Kaye - thank you for seeing him too my dear! :)Sharyn