All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Can We Wish For Rain?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
56 total reviews
Comment from McMurry903
This is such a unique form, I like it. You used it wonderfully here in crafting this piece. I loved the engaging questions, and beautiful presentation. Excellent work, my friend! :)Brian
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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This is such a unique form, I like it. You used it wonderfully here in crafting this piece. I loved the engaging questions, and beautiful presentation. Excellent work, my friend! :)Brian
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Thx so much, Brian - I had fun with this form today! :)Sharyn
Comment from Treischel
Can we wish for rain? A good wish on a dry parched relationship, as you say, I hope the answer is - yes. You have done a marvelous job with this complex format. The composition is excellent. The picture in combination with the verse provides a perfect backdrop with your theme. Well done!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Can we wish for rain? A good wish on a dry parched relationship, as you say, I hope the answer is - yes. You have done a marvelous job with this complex format. The composition is excellent. The picture in combination with the verse provides a perfect backdrop with your theme. Well done!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much Treischel :)Sharyn
Comment from wordsareus
That is the ultimate question. Can love ever grow back when it dies? I love the metaphor you used in your poem. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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That is the ultimate question. Can love ever grow back when it dies? I love the metaphor you used in your poem. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx so much my dear - yes, that is rather the million-dollar question, isn't it?
Comment from Cliff Ashpaugh
Hi again, and again, Sharyn. Yes, rain. Please rain! No tears to scald me really hit home. No real suggestions. This was a real downer, but good because I think it was meant to be. Good work. Cliff
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Hi again, and again, Sharyn. Yes, rain. Please rain! No tears to scald me really hit home. No real suggestions. This was a real downer, but good because I think it was meant to be. Good work. Cliff
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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good to do "downers" occasionally my dear - can't be all chocolate & lollipops, rainbows & roses, right? Coming from a "stiff upper lip" tradition, it's always a challenge to be emotionally honest - i.e. write "deep" - so I like to explore that occasionally. Blessings for your wonderful six on this one - I so appreciate it!
:) Sharyn
Comment from poesyapprentice
Nice form here. Had a hard time wrapping my head around the dry crying idea at first but you know I always like your work and the unique style you bring. Yours was the first for me to review tonight and I didn't have my head in the game yet, lol! It's an interesting piece and I hope you do well with it girlie!! I'm betting you'll have my vote heading your way : ) Ps. You started that book yet? ; )
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Nice form here. Had a hard time wrapping my head around the dry crying idea at first but you know I always like your work and the unique style you bring. Yours was the first for me to review tonight and I didn't have my head in the game yet, lol! It's an interesting piece and I hope you do well with it girlie!! I'm betting you'll have my vote heading your way : ) Ps. You started that book yet? ; )
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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dry/crying? no problem! :))) which particular book are we talking here? I'm having too much fun at the moment! :))))
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lol! Crazy you! The mystical love story on the island book, of course, with the lovely cottage keeper! : )
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ooooh, my equivalent of Lady Chatterly's lover!! THAT one!!! hmmmmmmmmmmmm ... I'll have to do some more research ... suss out some more cute guys ... SO much hard - yes, that's the right word - hard work ... tut tut ... could take YEARS!!!!!!!!! :)
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LOL! But it better not as I don't want to wait that long to read it!!!! : )
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Oh and I liked the pic for this poem too, i forgot to tell you...and i have read the others. Yes, a vote for you!
Comment from Galactia
hey, wonderful eleven77 poem you have composed of
stanza 1 line 3: long/ a/go=3 needs 2.a broken heart
all other lines are in perfect syllable coumt and structure. perfect rhyme schemes.
Well done
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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hey, wonderful eleven77 poem you have composed of
stanza 1 line 3: long/ a/go=3 needs 2.a broken heart
all other lines are in perfect syllable coumt and structure. perfect rhyme schemes.
Well done
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx for that catch, Tia - I was playing around and forgot to change it - yikes!
Comment from tdeans
This poem has the feel of a dying love! The words feel strong and seems heart felt. I think the poem came across very well! !I am sorry I do not understand the rating system, now I do. Your poem was great!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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This poem has the feel of a dying love! The words feel strong and seems heart felt. I think the poem came across very well! !I am sorry I do not understand the rating system, now I do. Your poem was great!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx td - please, if you give a four star rating, could you tell me what needs improvement? If not, then please re-rate.:)Sharyn
Kindly read the Fanstory review guidlines if you'd be so kind:
From the site FAQ page-
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Comment from Glasstruth
When you have to ask the question "do I love you" then I think the answer is there even without it being said. My favorite lines:
"screaming silence
parched, like desert and
as dry
as sand-bleached bone"
It's sad when love dies. Great write! Les
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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When you have to ask the question "do I love you" then I think the answer is there even without it being said. My favorite lines:
"screaming silence
parched, like desert and
as dry
as sand-bleached bone"
It's sad when love dies. Great write! Les
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx so much Les! :)Sharyn
Comment from Crystal Carey
Good Job Visionary, kind of makes me think of the song "Other than the night" I am not sure who it is by, but I know it's about a rainy day and how she's been waiting because she needs to hear I love you sometime other than the night... It just brought that into my head. I saw no grammatical errors!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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Good Job Visionary, kind of makes me think of the song "Other than the night" I am not sure who it is by, but I know it's about a rainy day and how she's been waiting because she needs to hear I love you sometime other than the night... It just brought that into my head. I saw no grammatical errors!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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thx so much Crystal! :)
Comment from poetic1988
this is a beautiful poem,
I like the flow of the poem
this feel like a poem I can relate to
about not knowing the differences in love
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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this is a beautiful poem,
I like the flow of the poem
this feel like a poem I can relate to
about not knowing the differences in love
Comment Written 17-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2013
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bless you my dear - thx for reviewing! :)S