Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Mounting Evidence"A collection of my poems
56 total reviews
Comment from sgalletti
This is absolutely hilarious Steve and an excellent entry in this contest. Loaded with humor, innuendoes and poetic devices (love the use of enjambment while maintaining the meter). Looks like a really strong contender to me. Good luck! Sue
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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This is absolutely hilarious Steve and an excellent entry in this contest. Loaded with humor, innuendoes and poetic devices (love the use of enjambment while maintaining the meter). Looks like a really strong contender to me. Good luck! Sue
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Sue - I enjoyed your piece too.
Steve
Comment from mauial
Like the story line you weaved and the clear picture it gave of a cheating husband's denial in the face of evidence. Very funny and creative.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Like the story line you weaved and the clear picture it gave of a cheating husband's denial in the face of evidence. Very funny and creative.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you.
Steve
Comment from rjuselius
haha. this is a pretty witty piece of poetry! i love the topic and the content,not really sure about the execution. your rhyming doesn't really cut it.
but thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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haha. this is a pretty witty piece of poetry! i love the topic and the content,not really sure about the execution. your rhyming doesn't really cut it.
but thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Rebekka - I know counterfeit is a bit off - were there any other rhymes you didn't like?
Steve
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the two opening lines are a bit off. they're quite valuable because they set the tone of the poem. otherwise i didn't find other ones.
rebekka x
Comment from Dmnqvitale
Loved it. Flow was great, story was funny, and most importantly, it was definitely relatable to probably more people than anyone would like to admit! Great job!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Loved it. Flow was great, story was funny, and most importantly, it was definitely relatable to probably more people than anyone would like to admit! Great job!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you - some great entries in this contest - worth a look.
Steve
Comment from flashlight
Great poem from start to finish. Very entertaining and fun to read. Gave me a good laugh. Nice job. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Great poem from start to finish. Very entertaining and fun to read. Gave me a good laugh. Nice job. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you - some great entries in this contest - worth a look.
Steve
Comment from Chris Tee
Steve! This is an absolutely exceptional piece of poetry my friend. What a phenomenal story as well and he thought he had it . Lol you had me pissing myself at the conclusion. Great stuff and worthy of a six!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Steve! This is an absolutely exceptional piece of poetry my friend. What a phenomenal story as well and he thought he had it . Lol you had me pissing myself at the conclusion. Great stuff and worthy of a six!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Chris for the great review and the six stars - some great entries in this contest - worth a look.
Steve
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
A well written poem describing how some men think it a badge of honor of maleness to cheat on the one they promised to cherish for life. A man is only as good as his word. Why some women play the game of "find me out if you can," I will never understand. The artwork goes perfectly with the theme of this poem. Great job!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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A well written poem describing how some men think it a badge of honor of maleness to cheat on the one they promised to cherish for life. A man is only as good as his word. Why some women play the game of "find me out if you can," I will never understand. The artwork goes perfectly with the theme of this poem. Great job!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you - some great entries in this contest - worth a look.
Steve
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You are very welcome. MN :)
Comment from Hollyhock
Wonderful use of this form.
Here is a man trying esperatley to wriggle out of a very difficult situation, the last line is a perfect tool (sorry, freudian slip) for his excuses.
This fairly galloped on as one excuse followed another, loved the rhythm and the rhymes. How dare he use endearments at such a time!"My sweet" and "petite"(even more ingratiatingly sickening) In fact I loved it all and the ending was superb!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Wonderful use of this form.
Here is a man trying esperatley to wriggle out of a very difficult situation, the last line is a perfect tool (sorry, freudian slip) for his excuses.
This fairly galloped on as one excuse followed another, loved the rhythm and the rhymes. How dare he use endearments at such a time!"My sweet" and "petite"(even more ingratiatingly sickening) In fact I loved it all and the ending was superb!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2012
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Thank you for the thoughtful review and the six stars - you are the only reviewer to mention the endearments.
Steve
Comment from Leigh Fischer
Nice job. It made smile. The rhyming was good and had I was able to settle into a comfortable cadence easily. I am continuously surprised to find people working in such a tight little box so comfortably. There are a lot of components to this prompt.
The only think that through me off was "counterfeit." It doesn't really rhyme with suite unless you add an awkward pronunciation.
I enjoyed the piece. Good luck. Happy writing.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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Nice job. It made smile. The rhyming was good and had I was able to settle into a comfortable cadence easily. I am continuously surprised to find people working in such a tight little box so comfortably. There are a lot of components to this prompt.
The only think that through me off was "counterfeit." It doesn't really rhyme with suite unless you add an awkward pronunciation.
I enjoyed the piece. Good luck. Happy writing.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Leigh - working in tight boxes my speciality - the tighter the better - just don't trt to get me to write any of that free verse stuff.
Steve
Comment from juliedickson55
Interesting form; tetrabreve - one I am not familiar with...
Nice job on this format.
Very humorous poem about getting caught at cheating, with many fun rhymes and the culprit caught over and over!
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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Interesting form; tetrabreve - one I am not familiar with...
Nice job on this format.
Very humorous poem about getting caught at cheating, with many fun rhymes and the culprit caught over and over!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2012
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Thanks, Julie.
Steve