All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Butterfly in a Box"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
116 total reviews
Comment from sibhus
Hmmm, bad relationship I take it. Kidding, bygones. I liked the last stanza and the way you have each line a single word. It gives it a real punch like a sinister warning. This was a really interesting poem with a somewhat chilling ending. This was some good stuff.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Hmmm, bad relationship I take it. Kidding, bygones. I liked the last stanza and the way you have each line a single word. It gives it a real punch like a sinister warning. This was a really interesting poem with a somewhat chilling ending. This was some good stuff.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Well I guess that's what it's meant to be my dear - I don't often write "dark", preferring not to - but some things just beg to be written sometimes, don't they? Thank you so much for "getting" it!
Best wishes,
Sharyn
Comment from Eternal Muse
That gave me goosebumps. It is indicative of a very good work because I usually keep my cool (lol). You described a societal parasite that feeds off the light of others well. I was especially impressed with the image of a cardbox, and then, in the end, holes being poked in that box to let in light. That image of breaking througj evil and overpowering the evil us most strong. Id like to read more of your work.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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That gave me goosebumps. It is indicative of a very good work because I usually keep my cool (lol). You described a societal parasite that feeds off the light of others well. I was especially impressed with the image of a cardbox, and then, in the end, holes being poked in that box to let in light. That image of breaking througj evil and overpowering the evil us most strong. Id like to read more of your work.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Thank you for getting goosebumps! I always appreciate it when someone understands and really "gets" what I write about - and this one was intentionally dark because it needed to be written this week (unfortunately!) You'll find my other pieces mostly much lighter. I really appreciate your awarding one of your precious '6's and am honored to have been the giver of goosebumps my dear!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Alexmi1984
I am blown away by this talented writer and this beautiful, exquisite poem. I have read breathtaking lines, filled with delicately perfumed words and it would be a pain to choose one favorite part and cut this poem into pieces. In that case, I'll just say I liked it all.
Great job!!
Alex
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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I am blown away by this talented writer and this beautiful, exquisite poem. I have read breathtaking lines, filled with delicately perfumed words and it would be a pain to choose one favorite part and cut this poem into pieces. In that case, I'll just say I liked it all.
Great job!!
Alex
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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thank you Alex!
Comment from RaymondJohn
There are no nuances to the truly disturbed because they can only recognize the most obvious behavior. And even that doesn't make it into their radar if it doesn't fit their beliefs and needs. Fine write. Ray.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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There are no nuances to the truly disturbed because they can only recognize the most obvious behavior. And even that doesn't make it into their radar if it doesn't fit their beliefs and needs. Fine write. Ray.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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more like a big whack over the head is necessary Ray - you got it! :) Sharyn
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your description of this smothering relationship and all of your metaphors, including "light/box/crow" and your "butterfly" simile. Your stunning artwork is extraordinarily synergistic. -Joan
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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I admired your description of this smothering relationship and all of your metaphors, including "light/box/crow" and your "butterfly" simile. Your stunning artwork is extraordinarily synergistic. -Joan
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Thank you Joan!
Comment from Writingfundimension
Fantastic imagery in this 'dark' poem. Yet, you write about an all-too-common personality archetype - the narcissist. And it seems to me they're more prevalent than ever. I like your metaphor of him as the crow and you as the butterfly. Great poem! Warmest regards, Bev
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Fantastic imagery in this 'dark' poem. Yet, you write about an all-too-common personality archetype - the narcissist. And it seems to me they're more prevalent than ever. I like your metaphor of him as the crow and you as the butterfly. Great poem! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much Bev!
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My pleasure!
Comment from poetbear
I could be that butterfly as well but truth be told I hear you.
Beautifully written
Lovely imagery and metaphor.
Reads well and makes sense.
Nice work.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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I could be that butterfly as well but truth be told I hear you.
Beautifully written
Lovely imagery and metaphor.
Reads well and makes sense.
Nice work.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much poetbear - I always appreciate it when someone genuinely reads & understands my writing! I thinkt here are quite a few butterflies in this world, biding their time!
Comment from TammyGail
visionary - this was such a stunning verse in many ways - you expressed yourself ever well in this poem loved that you used the butterfly as your metaphor as well as the box - thanks for sharing always a pleasure -
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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visionary - this was such a stunning verse in many ways - you expressed yourself ever well in this poem loved that you used the butterfly as your metaphor as well as the box - thanks for sharing always a pleasure -
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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thx Tammy!
Comment from C E Jag
This is beautiful. It stirred up emotions from a past, that I am still learning and growing from.
"This butterfly has been thinking that you'd make the perfect appetizer Careful when you next open my box."
This gives me more strength to move on. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem. :-) x
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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This is beautiful. It stirred up emotions from a past, that I am still learning and growing from.
"This butterfly has been thinking that you'd make the perfect appetizer Careful when you next open my box."
This gives me more strength to move on. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful poem. :-) x
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much CE - many of us, I think, have experienced this kind of relationship, and there comes a time where one has to say "no more" - or self destruct. Not much of a choice, really, is there! I do appreciate your wonderful feedback.
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from DBastian
Cool poem, great expression! I was attracted to this because of your title. The metaphor of a butterfly and freedom resonates in my mind, and you took that metaphor into a great place. You added the vulnerability, also - very nicely. Yes, I feel the darkness, but the beauty is that you expressed it so well that I can feel it: Beauty in the expression and reception.
Anyway, great job!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Cool poem, great expression! I was attracted to this because of your title. The metaphor of a butterfly and freedom resonates in my mind, and you took that metaphor into a great place. You added the vulnerability, also - very nicely. Yes, I feel the darkness, but the beauty is that you expressed it so well that I can feel it: Beauty in the expression and reception.
Anyway, great job!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2012
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Thank you very much DB! I always appreciate intelligent reads & feedback.
Best wishes
Sharyn