Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Chapter 3 Part three"
Can love survive small town gossip?

87 total reviews 
Comment from cheyennewy
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Another superb chapter. I am a sucker for a love story and this one is wonderful. I feel Sara and Joe falling in love and I hope the other shoe doesn't drop! He may be older than Sara but they seem like a perfect match. Keep them a commin....blessings, chey

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from hyway94
Excellent
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I remember those dances. Yes I was one of those who spiked the punch. What great memories. Ayyy, those where the days. This chapter took me back fiftie years. It was good and the word flow put me back there as if I was there in the room. I can't believe that you really had joe put his arms around Sara.Thats outlawed now days. Keep it up. Maybe some more memories.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    So you were the one who spiked the punch? HUMMMM, I may have to write that in somewhere. Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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I'm not completely clear why she was named homecoming queen - was it a joke to make the class slut the homecoming queen? Did they have some embarrassing plan? Or have most of them grown up and matured and this is their way of saying sorry?
I'm sorry if this was explained in an earlier chapter and I'm just having a senior moment - I follow several serialized novels and am forever forgetting details from one chapter to the next. :-)
I like the part where Joe deals with the guy who tries to tell him about Sara's reputation and all the dialogue and interaction between Joe and Sara. Brooke

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Homecoming is usually in the fall, around Oct. She didn't become the town slut until she got pregnant at Prom, in the spring. Often in small towns the head cheerleader dating the star football player in homecoming queen. I hope that helps. I fully understand senior moments.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Homecoming is usually in the fall, around Oct. She didn't become the town slut until she got pregnant at Prom, in the spring. Often in small towns the head cheerleader dating the star football player in homecoming queen. I hope that helps. I fully understand senior moments.
reply by adewpearl on 22-Jul-2010
    gotcha - nowt he confusion is gone. LOL
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Not a problem. I wonder if I should make that more clear. I grew up in a small town and do did my husband, a different small town so I just assumed everybody knew that. I was wrong.
Comment from Shane Marquardt
Excellent
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I haven't read much on FanStory in nearly a year, but I pick up this chapter and jump right into the action. Good drama and build up here. Very sad, too. I wish Joe had leveled the antagonist, but that would not have fit his character as much as it would have given me satisfaction.
Great job

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Joe will get to 'level' a few people in this manuscript and one of them is Roy. Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate it.
Comment from patwannabe
Excellent
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Barbara, under the circumstances, I'm surprised that they would applaud Sara as homecoming queen. I kinda suspect that Roy is the father. He was a jerk then and is still a jerk. I know this to be true, because leopards don't change their spots.

Well done, pat

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    I agree leopards don't change their spots. I think they applauded to be polite. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from bookishfabler
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A wonderful chapter. I only saw on enit.

Joe's thumb was on top of his wrist as he squeezed(,) compressing the blood vessels and nerves.

I still have issues with these grown people acting like children and calling her a slut. I think I would've moved. Or is she visiting? I forget now. Anyway, a very neat story.
hugs
book

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and I took care of the comma issue.
Comment from bowls
Excellent
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As usual, a great chapter! Joe's character is being further developed here through his words and actions - and through Sara's reactions to him and he seems to be measuring up very well. We see he's not perfect, as he loses his temper near the beginning, and that adds reality to his characterization. I like the way you don't rush through your chapters. You dwell on little incidents and draw very detailed pictures of them. It's really easy to visualize your story as it isn't a bare bones account of events. In the paragraph (near the end) beginning "I promised myself...", I wonder if ANYMORE should be ANY MORE. Thanks again for a great chapter. I'll be waiting for the next one.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    You're right about the any more. I will get that corrected thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jadapenn
Excellent
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Our hero is certainly the epitome of support where Sara is concerned. He is such a strong gentleman. I've already said this before.
No spag-gremlins, sweetie. Well written as always and I love the progress. Is that slimy Roy the father? lol.

Luv jada

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    You will discover the answer to the father issue later. Thank you for your review. I love hearing from you.
reply by jadapenn on 22-Jul-2010
    I posted Paul for you - but he doesn't feature in the chapter. lol. Must get that book on while I'm finishing off the others. Will probably post a chapter of it every night if I have the money. :)
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you, girlfriend. Don't let anybody tell you it's not a good story. They are wrong.
reply by jadapenn on 22-Jul-2010
    Hi,I not going to be thrown again, girlfriend. This story is quite involved and also needs to be edited every chapter I post. So, not such an easy job. I hope to get it right now the third time. Then, I must bring on Beloved Brother. lol - incest and all types. It's written in omniscient and I'm going to keep it that way. Very hard to do 2 POV only. I have two other oldies lying here, one also paranormal - but right now I must go sleepies. Nite. Speak to you tomorrow. It is 10pm. luv jada
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Sweet dreams.
Comment from CKLA
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barbara,

This is a very good chapter. Your introduction to Roy was well done with strong tension between him and Joe.

Sara's telling Joe of how Cassie was concieved was emotional and well done.

Great writing.
Collette

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from gerry26
Excellent
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Good chapter. The introduction to Roy was very good. Your writing made it clear what a jerk Roy is and what length Joe would go to protect Sarah. The dialog was very good, I also liked the part where Sara chose Joe to dance.

Gerry

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate it.