Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "I'm Here!"Short Stories
60 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good flow and emotion. it was sweet and sad, everything made me want to cry and smile at the same time. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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this is very well written with good flow and emotion. it was sweet and sad, everything made me want to cry and smile at the same time. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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sweetwoodjax
Thank you for the kind response. I truly appreciate it. Smiles, Carol
Comment from anabelle
Good story, Carol. I like the setting of the story with the clouds and the dead grass.
The only suggestion I'd have, is to delete: 'remembering better days'.
Lovely entry. Best of luck in the contest.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Good story, Carol. I like the setting of the story with the clouds and the dead grass.
The only suggestion I'd have, is to delete: 'remembering better days'.
Lovely entry. Best of luck in the contest.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Anabelle,
You are probably right...I struggle with these flash fiction stories. Prefer to be more descriptive...Smiles, Carol
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Don't beat yourself up at all, Carol. You're a really good writer. I hope my suggestion didn't offend you. Regards, anabelle
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anabelle,
Not at all...it was correct. Those words weren't needed in a true flash fiction. I appreciate your kindness. Smiles, Carol
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And I appreciate yours. :-)
Comment from RobinWrites
When I see the sun peak through a cloud filled sky and a light streams down off in the distance, I wonder who is the recipient of the gift. To see and to know would be wonderful. Your story answers at least one of my sightings.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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When I see the sun peak through a cloud filled sky and a light streams down off in the distance, I wonder who is the recipient of the gift. To see and to know would be wonderful. Your story answers at least one of my sightings.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Robin,
I have been blessed over and over and I hope others share that feeling as well. Thank you...Carol
Comment from Thesis
I like how you used nature in a way to inspire the mother to believe God was listening. When we're in despair, it's the little things that provide us hope, one step at a time.
That simple sight, could make all the difference between her giving up or gaining strength. - Thesis
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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I like how you used nature in a way to inspire the mother to believe God was listening. When we're in despair, it's the little things that provide us hope, one step at a time.
That simple sight, could make all the difference between her giving up or gaining strength. - Thesis
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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John,
Thanks for understanding the message and for reading my story. Smiles, Carol
Comment from JudithMarie
What a beautiful, inspirational story. In 100 words you bring forward images and emotions that are felt strongly. I recalled times when overwhelmed and no one to talk to...just talking out loud helped so much...your story says it so well. Wish you the best in the contest. JudithMarie
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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What a beautiful, inspirational story. In 100 words you bring forward images and emotions that are felt strongly. I recalled times when overwhelmed and no one to talk to...just talking out loud helped so much...your story says it so well. Wish you the best in the contest. JudithMarie
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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JudithMarie,
Yes, knowing that someone might be listening and care truly helps...Smiles, Carol
Comment from Dustman6180
It is very hard to tell a complete story in only one-hundred words, but you managed to do it. Your character is formed well and we all feel her pain and temporary comfort. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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It is very hard to tell a complete story in only one-hundred words, but you managed to do it. Your character is formed well and we all feel her pain and temporary comfort. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2010
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Dustman,
Thank you so much for the kind review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Jnetgame
Excellent story. I think you have all the required components in this 100 story and you also mananged to tell a powerful story. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Excellent story. I think you have all the required components in this 100 story and you also mananged to tell a powerful story. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Jnetgame.
I feel very fortunate when this happens to me...A blessing. Thank you for the kind comments. smiles to you
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
It is amazing how a little bit of sunshine can lighten a gray day.
This particular mother seems to have reached the end of her tether until she sees that little bit of sun.
Juliette
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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It is amazing how a little bit of sunshine can lighten a gray day.
This particular mother seems to have reached the end of her tether until she sees that little bit of sun.
Juliette
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Juliette,
Yes, amazing how things happen...Whenever I am really down, it seems a blessing comes with a ray of sunshine. Thank you for the kind comments. Smiles to you...
Comment from sugardog
Ah, so sad. But there is hope when the clouds part-God heard her prayer. Nice job on this 100 word prompt. I liked your beginning a lot-pulled me in-nice description and you wrote good emotion. Good luck in the contest. Dana
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Ah, so sad. But there is hope when the clouds part-God heard her prayer. Nice job on this 100 word prompt. I liked your beginning a lot-pulled me in-nice description and you wrote good emotion. Good luck in the contest. Dana
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Dana,
It seems as if every time I feel I can't go on...a ray of sunshine appears. Thanks for the kind comments...Smiles to you..
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You;re welcome!!
Comment from adewpearl
filled her heart, giving her strength
You work in lots of information of the back story using as few words as possible - good. The resolution seems a bit facile as one wonders why she hasn't noticed the sun before, but then again, you're only allowed 100 words, which sure limits your ability to expand on the resolution. Considering the strict word restrictions, an excellent job :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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filled her heart, giving her strength
You work in lots of information of the back story using as few words as possible - good. The resolution seems a bit facile as one wonders why she hasn't noticed the sun before, but then again, you're only allowed 100 words, which sure limits your ability to expand on the resolution. Considering the strict word restrictions, an excellent job :-) Brooke
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Brooke,
Actually, this really happened to me yesterday...The clouds just made a hole in the sky and the sun was shining through...I needed a message and I think God gave it to me...Smiles to you.....