Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Definately a Halloween poem, you gave me the chills. You create an eery atmosphere and great form here, no revisions needed. This reminds me a little of the Twilight Zone tv series.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

thank you, Elaine. I love the Twilight Zone, so I am most flattered :-) Brooke

Comment from Jazh

Excellent

Eeeek! Truly wonderful and horrible verse, Brooke. I love the relentless beat of it, as it rolls towards your "rotting corpse"! I shall be so pleased when Sunday arrives....lol

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Adele, thank you :-) I need to think up something truly pretty for Sunday, don't I? LOL Brooke :-)

reply by Jazh on 31-Oct-2009

lol Yes, I think you have a lot of compensating to do! Have a fun Halloween. :)

Comment from NightWriter

Excellent

I just LOVED "Halloween Rondeau"! Beautifully written and told. Scary to say the least and perfect in any Hallmark card. Well done! :)

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

thank you, my friend - glad you enjoyed my spooky holiday fare :-) Brooke

Comment from stormwolf2

Excellent

Nice to see that you are still in the Halloween spirit of things.The mere thought of fortune tellers and the like chills my bones for some reason.lol.

The smooth flow and rhyme was a pleasure to read.

Best wishes,
Malcolm

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

The only reason they chill my bones is at the thought some people actually part with their money to hand it over to them. LOL Thanks, Malcolm. You're the best :-) Brooke

reply by stormwolf2 on 30-Oct-2009

Yeah, Really! :-)

Comment from hotstuff

Excellent

My goodness, what a chilling poem. You artfully describe the fear that can develop from a simple act of going to see a fortune teller. I am so glad that this is a fictional piece of writing.

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, hotstuff - yes, totally fictional - I would never even pay a fortune teller ten bucks let alone believe one! LOL Brooke :-)

Comment from sunny39

Excellent

Brooke - perfect poem for the Halloween week. That was some terrible seer to see. But, I loved the poem.

Checking your notes - you say the spirit wouldn't move me. What spirit would that be?LOL.

You usual good work!

Sunny

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, Sunny - yes, not a cheery news seer at all!! LOL
You just made me laugh :-) Brooke

Comment from Dave M

Excellent

Brooke,

This is an excellent poem. I get the feeling that it started out with an attempt to be serious, but took on more of a "hoo-hoo-huh-huh-hah" aspect as you wrote it.

I have one suggestion:

"But here I sit, my blood run [runs] cold"

Dave

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Oh, you don't know the half of it, Dave - it started out as a rondeau and it started out with the same refrain line, but that is about the extent of it. I had such intentions of writing something thoughtful and inspiring, and after an hour or more of coming up with sappy crap, I threw a whole lot of shitty work away and decided to have fun. LOL The blood run cold part is as I want it - it implies my blood having run cold - it is not at all the way I would write prose but a poetic thing :-) Thanks for your perceptive comments, my friend :-) Brooke

reply by Dave M on 30-Oct-2009

Brooke,

Really, Halloween is not the time to be deadly serious. Your "evil chuckle" poem suits the holiday well. After all, it is a holiday for children to have fun being a little scared and then getting over it.

Dave

reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

One of my on site friends plans to read some of my Halloween poems to his "tween" granddaughter tomorrow while they prepare for the evening, so yes, I'm glad they come across as gory funny, not gory slasher, in tone. I love horror movies, but I've always considered them darkly funny, not serious :-)

Comment from sgalletti

Excellent

My goodness Brooke! You do have this dark side about you this time of year! What are you waiting for??? The children to trick-or-treat? Or, some other dreadful dead corpse thing? And yet, I am still impressed with the fabulous imagery and the great rhyming scheme. Sue

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Thank you, Sue - yep, once the trick or treating is over, I will snap out of it! LOL Until then, I claim my right to be dark and yucky! LOL Brooke :-)

Comment from tonydem

Excellent

Very clever poem Brooke. If I'm not mistaken this person's in a sort of limbo, waiting for what's to come in the after life. If I'm wrong do please enlighten me.
Tony

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

Tony, I am always open to interpretations other than the one I had in mind while writing - I don't consider them "wrong."
When I was writing what I had in mind was a person who had gotten a bit hysterical about the fortune she had just heard from some "seer" and was sitting alone after the tarot card reading or whatever and imagining her own death and funeral, so sure was she of the future that had been predicted. But like I said, yours works too!! :-) Thanks, my friend :-) Brooke

Comment from DecrepitOldBag

Excellent

Well, it's Halloween tomorrow. We are preparing for our annual party here. I've not been well, so the hard work is quite a challenge, but worthwhile I'm sure.

This is quite a scary piece of writing, Brooke. It made me shiver a bit!

Hugs and warmest wishes
Kat

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 30-Oct-2009

I'm so sorry, Kat, that you have not been well. I'm so glad this had the shiver effect for you :-) Please get better soon! thanks, my friend and have a fun party. Brooke