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POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Love's Last Breath"
When I dabble at things.....

78 total reviews 
Comment from Slush Pile
Excellent
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What a wonderful, loving story you've managed to capture in the limited words allowed! Simply beautiful. I'm sure it will do well in the contest. Blessings, Slush Pile

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    Slush Pile

    Thank you for your lovely encouragement. I'm not a poet and rarely do well in contests of such, but this particular one drew me in. I thought of my aging parents and the many years they have been together and wonder how they will ever exist without the other. Thanks again Carol
Comment from lola29
Excellent
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Wow! Your passion knows no limit. You simply amaze me with your talent to evoke emotions. This entry is beautiful in so many ways and will touch the hearts of so many. Best wishes with your winning entry.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    Lola

    Thank you for the spontaneous smile you smeared across my face this morning. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed the poem. My mind was thinking of my 89 yr old parents and their 62 yrs of marriage...I don't want to think of that last moment for them. Thanks again Carol
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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A lifetime shared,
His last breath he would give,
Holding hands,
Praying she might live.

Oh, how sad is this...
an entirely different approach
to writing a love poem ---
these words say it all.

An ideal entry for the contest, Carol - good luck.
Margaret.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    Margaret

    Not filled with your beautiful and gracious words, but definitely my emotions. I was thinking about my 89 yr old parents, married for 62 yrs and never apart. I fear how devastated one will be when something happens to the other.

    Thanks for reading and enjoying my poem.

    Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from Nanny 6
Excellent
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You poem speaks of a most endearing couple sharing their last moments together and the deep, profound love they share. Very nice. Good luck in the contest. Judy

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    Judy Thanks so much for your kind review. I greatly appreciate it. Carol
Comment from Fleedleflump
Excellent
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This is both beautiful and melancholy, conjuring images of loyalty and tenderness. You've reminded me what a beautiful thing being in love is; that is a wonderful gift :-)

Mike

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    Mike Thanks for the kind review. Love is a feeling that I wish the whole world could feel..not realistic, but I wish it! My 89 yr old parents, married 62 yrs, and never apart were the foundation for this poem. I fear what will happen when one of them dies. Tome, it will be devastating. Thanks for the kind review. Take care. Carol
Comment from dmjones
Excellent
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This is sweet and sad at the same time. A good contest entry. I usually don't read or review poetry because I know nothing about so I can't comment on style but I really liked this.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    dmjones Good! Cause I usually don't write poetry, but this popped into my head when I was think about my 89 yr old parents, married 62 years. I think it will be devastating when one of them dies...Thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it. Carol
Comment from EKPoet
Excellent
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Within the contest constraints, I think this one really packs the emotion in, captures everything about hoping and praying for the life of a loved one. the close bond they have comes out, the sense of pain at the impending loss, the fear of going on alone. nice one EKPoet

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    EKPoet

    Thank you so much. It is difficult for me to write a story in 15 words, but I think this one gets its point across. Thanks again. Glad you liked it. Carol
Comment from rhymelord
Excellent
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A beautifully metred and rhymed poem with a lovely expression of sentiment and love in age. I can appreciate that.
Regards
Reg

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    Reg

    Thanks for the review. I appreciate your comments. Carol
Comment from TKField
Excellent
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I liked it,but it was a little confusing. He's dying but he's praying for her live? Quite an ironic twist. A nice little sentimental poem.

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    TK Field He's not dying. He would be willing to die, to give her his last breath if only God would let her live....that's his prayer Take me, not her. Thanks for stopping by. Carol
Comment from Steve Pantazis
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, this one hit me in quite a profound way. It says so much about life, about sacrifice, about love, in just a few words. I've read quite a few poems today. None have struck a chord like this one. Exceptional work!

 Comment Written 07-Aug-2009

reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
    Pantazis

    Thank you for connecting with the poem. My 89 yr old parents have been married 62 years, never separated. I think it will be devastating when one of them dies. How do they find the strength to live alone? Thanks again Carol