CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 92 "Paris"A collection of poetry
57 total reviews
Comment from EKPoet
I loved this poem. this was awesome! i loved the flashes of images, the repeating patterns of sound, that bordered on minimalism, all the little connections we find with the city, the images of light, the weather, the beautiful architecture, the influence our mood, our feelings. Here, Paris becomes a metaphore for heaven, and we feel transformed and morphed into it out of our banal lives. It is a poem that is in a style that I feel part of, wonder if you have read much of my work. New York City is one that I posted last year. eK
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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I loved this poem. this was awesome! i loved the flashes of images, the repeating patterns of sound, that bordered on minimalism, all the little connections we find with the city, the images of light, the weather, the beautiful architecture, the influence our mood, our feelings. Here, Paris becomes a metaphore for heaven, and we feel transformed and morphed into it out of our banal lives. It is a poem that is in a style that I feel part of, wonder if you have read much of my work. New York City is one that I posted last year. eK
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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EKPoet, "Paris becomes a metaphor for heaven"...now those a great words! Thank you for all your specific comments about what you got from the poem. So glad you enjoyed it! What is the name of your poem about New York? I'd like to read it. I searched around and wasn't sure which one it was. Thank you so much for your great review! :-)) Sue
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I really liked the way you related your emotional state in the context of the city, I think thats the strength of the poem. My poem, in the book The Music of September, is called simply New York City. it has its moments maybe, but it is a challenging subject and I dont think the poem is one of my best. check out the other poems in the book if you want as well , i feel the minimalist poems are the most important. Curvature , Pilgrimage, Connections, Satallites, and Echoes are some of my favorites. You might like Globalization. Minimalism can be a bit mechanical in its nature, a bit static and flat, and in the poetry I am writing now, for this new book Natural Light, I have sought to create a softer, warmer tone in these natural images and a blending of minimalism with elements of open ended free verse to make the style more vibrant. What kinds of poetry do you read? I see you also do some short stories, as do I. My new stories will be out in the spring, part of a collection on suburban life to be called People We Once Knew. also, I'm a sixtees kid too. 1961 to be exact EKPoet
Comment from MJMuraco
What a great read about Paris! I was in France thirty four years ago and visited Strasbourg. We were supposed to go to Paris but stopped to visit my girlfriends family in Strasbourg and ended up having such a great time that we stayed there instead of going to Paris. I have always regretted that I didn't get there to see all of the arts and the beauty of that city. Oh well, like you I am dreaming of traveling as I look out my window and see a blizzard going on. Very nice piece.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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What a great read about Paris! I was in France thirty four years ago and visited Strasbourg. We were supposed to go to Paris but stopped to visit my girlfriends family in Strasbourg and ended up having such a great time that we stayed there instead of going to Paris. I have always regretted that I didn't get there to see all of the arts and the beauty of that city. Oh well, like you I am dreaming of traveling as I look out my window and see a blizzard going on. Very nice piece.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Oh, I loved Strasbourg, too!! Spent 2 days there. Was in Germany at the time and we crossed on over to France. Lovely! So glad you liked my poem on Paris. She is a gem! Keep on dreaming! Thank you for your lovely review and compliments...Sue
Comment from bard owl
I love Paris. It was where my husband and I spent our honeymoon. It was February and colder than a flying witch's nose, but I didn't feel it. I have been there several times since, as my husband is a retired airline pilot and he flew often to Europe, with many layovers in Paris. Anyway... your poem brought back so many memories. This love letter to Paris is very well written with perfect rhythm and rhyme and of course, delightful subject matter. Thank you so much for a very lovely read. Blessings to you, Linda
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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I love Paris. It was where my husband and I spent our honeymoon. It was February and colder than a flying witch's nose, but I didn't feel it. I have been there several times since, as my husband is a retired airline pilot and he flew often to Europe, with many layovers in Paris. Anyway... your poem brought back so many memories. This love letter to Paris is very well written with perfect rhythm and rhyme and of course, delightful subject matter. Thank you so much for a very lovely read. Blessings to you, Linda
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Oh, thank you for sharing that about your honeymoon! Yes, even though it was winter, the joys of seeing her beauty would "warm you up a bit". By the sounds of it, you know Paris well. Thank you for calling this a love letter to Paris. And for your most generous compliments and review. Always appreciated...Sue
Comment from Paradox Tremors
A foot of the white 'stuff' and have a touch of wanderlust in ya -- God, that's why its great to be a writer. You can up and go just anywhere your mind wants to take ya. A great piece of writing if you don't mind my saying. Wish I could go to Paris someday.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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A foot of the white 'stuff' and have a touch of wanderlust in ya -- God, that's why its great to be a writer. You can up and go just anywhere your mind wants to take ya. A great piece of writing if you don't mind my saying. Wish I could go to Paris someday.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Yes, Paradox, where would we be without writing?!! Unleashes one in so many ways. Thank you for your lovely comments and review! Always appreciated...Sue
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi sixteezkid. Yuor wonderful descriptive poem has made me want to visit Paris. Yuo have described the delights of Paris so well.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Hi sixteezkid. Yuor wonderful descriptive poem has made me want to visit Paris. Yuo have described the delights of Paris so well.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Wendyanne, it is, indeed, a place to visit if you get the opportunity. Beautiful memories to always keep. (as well, steeped in history)! Thank you for your very generous review. Always appreciated, Sue
Comment from Jewell McChesney
You have written this so very well, that I want to go to Paris now! Perfect imgagery and fabulous descriptions grace the page of this finely written gem.
I don't blame you for doing a bit of mind travel. I've been doing that myself!
Jewell
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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You have written this so very well, that I want to go to Paris now! Perfect imgagery and fabulous descriptions grace the page of this finely written gem.
I don't blame you for doing a bit of mind travel. I've been doing that myself!
Jewell
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Ah! A Jewell in the "jeweled" City! Makes me jump for joy to hear that my descriptives are enjoyed so much. I think I may "travel" to England in my next poem. Just planting seeds right now. Thank you so much for your lovely review. Always appreciated...Sue
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - You are a busy little beaver writing all these poems. I've been to Paris 3 times, the last time in 2003. We were passing through but managed to take in the sites each time. Next time (maybe next year), I will stay several days. Again, love your visual decriptives that you use to paint the Paris scenes in rhyme and rhythm. Charlie
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Sue - You are a busy little beaver writing all these poems. I've been to Paris 3 times, the last time in 2003. We were passing through but managed to take in the sites each time. Next time (maybe next year), I will stay several days. Again, love your visual decriptives that you use to paint the Paris scenes in rhyme and rhythm. Charlie
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Charlie, Paris is most definitely worth a few days. There are a few "jewel" cities to see in this world, and Paris is one of them. Thank you for your lovely compliments on this poem. And for your great review. Always appreciated...Sue
Comment from Hitcher
I have been their once but only really made it to the underground which was a bloody nightmare, I don't know if you noticed but they are not to keen on the English in Paris, they kept sending us in the wrong bloody direction. I cannot complain I had just spent two weeks in Marseille
having fun with a French beauty, ha ha.
I think your poem is top draw my creative friend, I loved the use of the French words, the rhyming is great and for the readers that have been there this will give them that AHHHHHHHH moment, some are probably jumping on a plane as I type, ha ha. You make it sound Awesome and I should really go back and give it a second chance, I know my wife loved it, she has been once with her whole Family, ONE DAY!
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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I have been their once but only really made it to the underground which was a bloody nightmare, I don't know if you noticed but they are not to keen on the English in Paris, they kept sending us in the wrong bloody direction. I cannot complain I had just spent two weeks in Marseille
having fun with a French beauty, ha ha.
I think your poem is top draw my creative friend, I loved the use of the French words, the rhyming is great and for the readers that have been there this will give them that AHHHHHHHH moment, some are probably jumping on a plane as I type, ha ha. You make it sound Awesome and I should really go back and give it a second chance, I know my wife loved it, she has been once with her whole Family, ONE DAY!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2009
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Okay...are you kidding me? The French and English not getting along? That goes back to year dot!!! LOL!! They "tolerate" each other. But, a very itchy woolen sweater, they are to each other. HA! Perhaps my next "travel" poem will be on England. Oh, how I would love to write about Wiltshire! Hmmm...Maybe I will. Thanks for the great review, friend. So glad you enjoyed it! Sue
Comment from jack silver
this was really good you got into the feeling of what Paris is about. very good use of wording. and thank you for putting what the words meant below it. look forward to reading more.
from
jack
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this was really good you got into the feeling of what Paris is about. very good use of wording. and thank you for putting what the words meant below it. look forward to reading more.
from
jack
Comment Written 18-Jan-2009
Comment from Mischief's Momma
This poem made me actually want to go to Paris - which is a mark of what a good read it was because my only experience of France as a child was not a good one. It is one of the few countries that holds no interest to me at all. Maybe that's my English upbringing coming out too :)
The only thing that jumped out at me that could use tweaking was the line "Sharing all their art" it was a little weak, the tense was off, and it and seemed forced just to fit the rhyme. Maybe something along the lines of "Shared their works of art" or "Offered works of art".
Otherwise great job!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2009
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This poem made me actually want to go to Paris - which is a mark of what a good read it was because my only experience of France as a child was not a good one. It is one of the few countries that holds no interest to me at all. Maybe that's my English upbringing coming out too :)
The only thing that jumped out at me that could use tweaking was the line "Sharing all their art" it was a little weak, the tense was off, and it and seemed forced just to fit the rhyme. Maybe something along the lines of "Shared their works of art" or "Offered works of art".
Otherwise great job!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2009
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You are so right! I wrestled with that little line many a times. And the answer was so simple! HA! Thank you very much for your very honest critique and help with that line. Makes all the difference. Much appreciated :-)) Sue
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Oh, I forgot to ask. Can you please re-review, as it has now been corrected. Thank you very much! Sue
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Okay Sue - all done, glad I could help :)