How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Micro-Critting"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
97 total reviews
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I suppose you hit me with the correct comparison as all my life have been self employed salesman only retail not insurance. I get it. This chapter was not at all what I expected. I prejudged what this was going to be about. I thought you were going to give me some smarmy accounting of something I didn't give a crap about. Instead I actually learned something. Bravo! I'll be back for more...like your style and matter of factness! Thank you. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
  |
I suppose you hit me with the correct comparison as all my life have been self employed salesman only retail not insurance. I get it. This chapter was not at all what I expected. I prejudged what this was going to be about. I thought you were going to give me some smarmy accounting of something I didn't give a crap about. Instead I actually learned something. Bravo! I'll be back for more...like your style and matter of factness! Thank you. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
-
Well, thank you, Kiwi xoxoxo (you know that's spanish for hohoho!) I'm glad you read past your prejudice and found something worthwhile. Glad to have you aboard.
Comment from c_lucas
There are easier ways for a girl to meet a guy than to throw books in his path. However some of your arguments are sound and bear the necessity testing them out.
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
|
There are easier ways for a girl to meet a guy than to throw books in his path. However some of your arguments are sound and bear the necessity testing them out.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
-
Thank you, Charlie. Well, dropping a hankie was even before my time. We've come a long way, baby!
-
You're welcome, Jay. Charlie
Comment from Curly Girly
That was a lengthy chapter, presented in a chatty, informal style. Great content with pearls of wisdom to be gathered. I liked your examples, and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
|
That was a lengthy chapter, presented in a chatty, informal style. Great content with pearls of wisdom to be gathered. I liked your examples, and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.
Comment Written 10-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
-
Thank you, Nicole. YOU are talking about lengthy. Yours was three times my length, but happily I'd already read them, so it was just a question of sliding down the scroll bar and dropping a rate on them.
-
Yes, but I did enjoy reading yours. I've not entered a contest before, so I thought to both parts of the chapter should be put into one. The 'fore-runner', recommend by JS made it longer too. I know that people who have followed my story have already read it, so would not need to read again. But yes, 3500 words to a new reader would be off-putting, especially seeing that I cannot promote it. So I reckon I may have wasted my time with this contest anyway.
Thanks again, Jay.
Nicole
-
I was amazed to read that there was a time when you took over your son's mail runs for the family's finances. That demonstrates how tough times were for you. It was a good story. Having done some mail runs myself, I know how much effort they take and how little they pay. Sales experience is a thing which grows, but sometimes the tide can be against you, but good principals remain.
-
It was humiliating to be forced to do it. My wife made cookies so we could sell them at (what we call in the US) garage sales, or yard sales, which is a kind of a rummage sale. Some of the hardest work I've ever done were the "mail runs", since we had to get up at 3:30 in the AM to get the papers to fold and put in the car to deliver. Most of the profits were eaten up by the cost of gas.
-
Ouch! Those were desperate times for you, Jay. I took on a double mail run for my two sons when they went on a school camp for a long weekend. It poured with rain, and wind--was challenging! Paper few everywhere. I carried the bag on my back and folded while walking. I walked and did over 400 houses, got home saturated. Not a good memory, but it was an important one. I've saved it to my bank of life experiences. As an immigrant it was the only job I could get for a number of years. I used to deliver the local newspaper once a week here. There were times I HATED it. I'm glad it's over. I have a better job now--thank God. :)
-
Didn't cost you to enter. What do you have to lose? Good luck.
-
Thanks
Comment from Janet7053
You are indeed a salesman, a crit, and all the other titles you afford yourself in your profile. Comedian is on my list. Very, very funny. You've got me scouring used bookstores for more of Alice and Bill.
You had such a novel idea (pun for your pleasure) to use the sales approach to advise us on critiquing.
I'm not equipped with technical literary jargon to fully and satisfactorily review this work. Suffice it to say, "This was a riot!"
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
 |
You are indeed a salesman, a crit, and all the other titles you afford yourself in your profile. Comedian is on my list. Very, very funny. You've got me scouring used bookstores for more of Alice and Bill.
You had such a novel idea (pun for your pleasure) to use the sales approach to advise us on critiquing.
I'm not equipped with technical literary jargon to fully and satisfactorily review this work. Suffice it to say, "This was a riot!"
Comment Written 09-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
-
I'm ecstatic you found this working for you. Thank you so much, Janet, for your kind words and your generous rating.
Comment from mfowler
I found your suggestions and strategies in this chapter to be both a form of revision and expansion of my understanding. I really enjoyed the examples you employed to show 'flat' from invitational, both in terms of openings and endings. I also liked the 'let's go pee' moment; both light hearted and opportunistic for this reader considering the length of your chapter and the cold weather outside. Your comparison of these writing strategies to the selling of insurance was very clear and works well as analogy. The book maintains my interest and respect for your skill as mentor and author.
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
|
I found your suggestions and strategies in this chapter to be both a form of revision and expansion of my understanding. I really enjoyed the examples you employed to show 'flat' from invitational, both in terms of openings and endings. I also liked the 'let's go pee' moment; both light hearted and opportunistic for this reader considering the length of your chapter and the cold weather outside. Your comparison of these writing strategies to the selling of insurance was very clear and works well as analogy. The book maintains my interest and respect for your skill as mentor and author.
Comment Written 09-May-2015
reply by the author on 10-May-2015
-
You are so kind! I am thrilled you found this chapter helpful. You are one person I'm privileged to have on board. Thank you, my friend for being here and for the wonderful sixer.
Comment from cjvaughn
Hey Jay,
Now that the storm has finally let the phone lines back... I can read some more. I love to learn, so this book has been way fun to understand a lot of questions I had...
The dynamic opening of a story is a promise -- and the writer had better plan to deliver on that promise. I liked the way you put this a lot. I never really understood exactly what the 'hook' was supposed to be... except that it is used to keep the reader interested in the story... turning the pages. After reading all the examples, I have a much better picture now... Nice job with this chapter.
CJ
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2007
|
Hey Jay,
Now that the storm has finally let the phone lines back... I can read some more. I love to learn, so this book has been way fun to understand a lot of questions I had...
The dynamic opening of a story is a promise -- and the writer had better plan to deliver on that promise. I liked the way you put this a lot. I never really understood exactly what the 'hook' was supposed to be... except that it is used to keep the reader interested in the story... turning the pages. After reading all the examples, I have a much better picture now... Nice job with this chapter.
CJ
Comment Written 18-Apr-2007
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2007
-
CJ, you are a wonderful person -- and have such good taste, lol. Thank you so very much for getting the rest of these chapters read. I hope you enjoy the ones to follow.
Jay
Comment from suda
Hi Jay,
Not only have you enlightened me with great information regarding the promise a writer makes to his reader, but you've given good examples that show me.
I appreciate your style and your information.
Susan
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2007
|
Hi Jay,
Not only have you enlightened me with great information regarding the promise a writer makes to his reader, but you've given good examples that show me.
I appreciate your style and your information.
Susan
Comment Written 25-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2007
-
Susan, you just keep on keeping on with your kind and generous words. I am so happy that you are getting something out of this series. Bless you....
Jay
Comment from mamaboots
Hello Jay,
This is really good :) Remove the FS stuff, and I think you could sell this - it's way better than a lot of the articles I've read lately. Here are a few things I caught on this one:
the "movement" of the piece - missing ending punctuation on this sentence
With this present segment we add definition - on my screen this seems to have an extra space between present and segment
James Joyce's Ulysses - need to italicize Ulysses as it is a title
Fiction that can (be) comfortably read in one sitting.
I whole-heartedly agree with the ending being just as important as the beginning. It really irks me when something promises all the way through, then just blows the ending.
Thanks for writing this, a most enjoyable read this afternoon :)
mamaboots
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007
|
Hello Jay,
This is really good :) Remove the FS stuff, and I think you could sell this - it's way better than a lot of the articles I've read lately. Here are a few things I caught on this one:
the "movement" of the piece - missing ending punctuation on this sentence
With this present segment we add definition - on my screen this seems to have an extra space between present and segment
James Joyce's Ulysses - need to italicize Ulysses as it is a title
Fiction that can (be) comfortably read in one sitting.
I whole-heartedly agree with the ending being just as important as the beginning. It really irks me when something promises all the way through, then just blows the ending.
Thanks for writing this, a most enjoyable read this afternoon :)
mamaboots
Comment Written 21-Jan-2007
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2007
-
Thank you, Mamaboots, for taking the time to read some of the back chapters. It is rewarding to me that you would do this virtually "for free." It means you are actually looking for something instructional in what I have written. It is much appreciated.
Jay
Comment from snowy
Hi Jay!
Tremendous insight on how to begin the journey of writing a short story or novel!
I've always felt pressure to come up with that perfect "hook," and the more pressure I feel, the less likely I am to produce a good one!
The first sentence, no, even before that, the title. . .oh Lord, is it fascinating enough, exotic and enticing. . . ?
I know that agents and publishers give a writer about two or three sentences to hook and reel, so you better make those words dance off the page.
Truly, after I get past those anxious moments, I just enjoy the creative process, the characters, intertwining the plot, conflict and resolution.
Feel, experience, react, travel forward or back in time, love, despise, a belly laugh, weep. . .I could go on, but I have to get back to my novel!
Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom.
I wish you many blessings!
snowy
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2006
|
Hi Jay!
Tremendous insight on how to begin the journey of writing a short story or novel!
I've always felt pressure to come up with that perfect "hook," and the more pressure I feel, the less likely I am to produce a good one!
The first sentence, no, even before that, the title. . .oh Lord, is it fascinating enough, exotic and enticing. . . ?
I know that agents and publishers give a writer about two or three sentences to hook and reel, so you better make those words dance off the page.
Truly, after I get past those anxious moments, I just enjoy the creative process, the characters, intertwining the plot, conflict and resolution.
Feel, experience, react, travel forward or back in time, love, despise, a belly laugh, weep. . .I could go on, but I have to get back to my novel!
Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge and wisdom.
I wish you many blessings!
snowy
Comment Written 20-Dec-2006
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2006
-
Thank you, snowy, for your kind words. I hope to have you aboard the future installments as well. With over 40 years under my belt, my hope is that what I have to offer will be well received.
All the season's blessings to you and your loved ones.
Jay
Comment from IndianaIrish
Hello Jay! Sorry, I'm so late reading your chapter. As your previous chapters, this one is filled with meaningful encouragement and advice. You make us look at our writing and then give us skills to improve and make our writing better. For that...I'm very thankful. Looking forward to your next one!
Smiles
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2006
|
Hello Jay! Sorry, I'm so late reading your chapter. As your previous chapters, this one is filled with meaningful encouragement and advice. You make us look at our writing and then give us skills to improve and make our writing better. For that...I'm very thankful. Looking forward to your next one!
Smiles
Indy :>)
Comment Written 17-Dec-2006
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2006
-
Thank you, Indy; I knew you'd visit when you had the time -- sorry you had to do it for free. Crittin's not done 'til I hear from Indy.
Jay
-
Free is A-OK with me, Mr. Jay--as long as it's you! :>)