Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Very well done! You gave a life observation message in just a very brief rhyming couplet of eight words. I suggest you make it a possessive of "death's unknown rivers." That brings to mind one of them - the river Styx. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 29-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021

Thank you, and yes perhaps their are many rivers that ebb and flow beyond just the river Styx.

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

In this current system dominated and controlled by Satanic influence, life is fleeting. It is filled with doubtful fears and uncertainties, fraught with all sorts of dangers that threaten our very existence. This is not what we signed up for, but it is what we are stuck with, for now.

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 Comment Written 29-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021

Nomi, yes 🙌!

Comment from Ken Weene

Good

I suggest reversing the order of the lines. Also, death's not deaths and no explanation point. However, the content is provocative as is the choice of artwork.

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 Comment Written 29-Nov-2021

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reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021

Thank you for taking the time to provide welcomed honest feedback, I have been away from my pen for several months.