Chip's Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Four Seconds"FanStory Collection
42 total reviews
Comment from Ignatius Albright
This is confronting and raw, uncensored and evocative. I like it a lot! This is a very well executed 6 word poem and a strong entry for the contest. Well done! Keep writing and keep safe. Ignatius A
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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This is confronting and raw, uncensored and evocative. I like it a lot! This is a very well executed 6 word poem and a strong entry for the contest. Well done! Keep writing and keep safe. Ignatius A
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you for the kind review and generous rating, IA!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written six-word poem about how long it take to jump from the golden gate bridge until you hit the water. Once you jumped there's no turning back either.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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A very well-written six-word poem about how long it take to jump from the golden gate bridge until you hit the water. Once you jumped there's no turning back either.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thanks, Sandra!
Comment from SeanFox16
Well done on a very well written, concise little poem. Sometimes a poem does not need to be the length of a short novel to get across the point it is trying to convey. This does so brilliantly in three short sentences. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Well done on a very well written, concise little poem. Sometimes a poem does not need to be the length of a short novel to get across the point it is trying to convey. This does so brilliantly in three short sentences. Keep writing.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Sean!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made excellent use of your powerful six words, the artwork, and the notes to convey a gripping, sad fact about those who give up on life and deliberately take that last step.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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You have made excellent use of your powerful six words, the artwork, and the notes to convey a gripping, sad fact about those who give up on life and deliberately take that last step.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Janice!
Comment from rspoet
Hello Chip,
This is an excellent six word poem for the contest
written in the form of a senryu or haiku.
The gravity of the situation is well expressed
with the double meaning of gravity.
The rhymes adds to the poem since it isn't strictly a haiku.
Excellent choice of photograph.
I'm not sure how many would get the connection
without the explanation.
This poem could do well in the contest.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Hello Chip,
This is an excellent six word poem for the contest
written in the form of a senryu or haiku.
The gravity of the situation is well expressed
with the double meaning of gravity.
The rhymes adds to the poem since it isn't strictly a haiku.
Excellent choice of photograph.
I'm not sure how many would get the connection
without the explanation.
This poem could do well in the contest.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Many thanks, Robert!
Comment from Jeffrey Mitchell
Informative as well. Your 6 words poetry, frightening and true, when crossing a bridge. How quick you think what if, like a friend communication begins. We meet again. Hope I will see you again.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Informative as well. Your 6 words poetry, frightening and true, when crossing a bridge. How quick you think what if, like a friend communication begins. We meet again. Hope I will see you again.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Jeffrey!
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Your welcome
Comment from Bill Pinder
Interesting poem for the six word contest. Thanks for sharing your creativity and good luck. Hopefully you're not thinking about jumping. Keep writing.
Bill
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Interesting poem for the six word contest. Thanks for sharing your creativity and good luck. Hopefully you're not thinking about jumping. Keep writing.
Bill
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Just thinking about writing, not jumping! Thanks, Bill.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
How did you find that out? I am sure those who have jumped, had plenty of time to wish they hadn't in that four seconds. No turning back. Well done, this was a really excellent six word poem, and gives us much food to think about it. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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How did you find that out? I am sure those who have jumped, had plenty of time to wish they hadn't in that four seconds. No turning back. Well done, this was a really excellent six word poem, and gives us much food to think about it. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Sandra!
Comment from Ben Colder
Sometimes I have pondered the idea of this write and how it would be without gravity on our planet. We can only imagine.
Best wished to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Sometimes I have pondered the idea of this write and how it would be without gravity on our planet. We can only imagine.
Best wished to you in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Gravity isn't just a good idea, it's the law! (stole that bit of silliness from a meme or t-shirt) Thanks, Ben!
Comment from Saria/Shreyamsi
The words in the poem are very well chosen....I mean very descriptive! The poem is also very well thought-out.....The title also complements the poem very well....I quite enjoyed the ride. Thanks.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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The words in the poem are very well chosen....I mean very descriptive! The poem is also very well thought-out.....The title also complements the poem very well....I quite enjoyed the ride. Thanks.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2020
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Thank you, Saria!