One Smiling Word
a poem45 total reviews
Comment from susand3022
Oh, Jesse... this poem speaks to me, and I'm going to tell you why. Very soon, in the next week or so, I'm going to have to go to my parent's house for a family picture. This wouldn't be bad, normally... except that several months ago, one of my sisters became a grandmother for the first time. It was then that I learned how her kids, and she, apparently really felt about me. I have no idea why, but for some reason, they just don't like me. I have never seen this baby and I never would have even been told of her birth had I not called my other sister (who was with my parents). So, I'll have to go and take a family picture with people I know don't want to be anywhere near me but will put on these fake smiles in front of my parents, who are old and don't need the dischord. I'll get to see once, a baby I know I'll never be invited to see again, though she lives less than 5 minutes away. Plaster on the grins and cry when I get home. So, scripted faces, sugary voices, without any choices. A fun time for sure. I like yours better. ;)
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Oh, Jesse... this poem speaks to me, and I'm going to tell you why. Very soon, in the next week or so, I'm going to have to go to my parent's house for a family picture. This wouldn't be bad, normally... except that several months ago, one of my sisters became a grandmother for the first time. It was then that I learned how her kids, and she, apparently really felt about me. I have no idea why, but for some reason, they just don't like me. I have never seen this baby and I never would have even been told of her birth had I not called my other sister (who was with my parents). So, I'll have to go and take a family picture with people I know don't want to be anywhere near me but will put on these fake smiles in front of my parents, who are old and don't need the dischord. I'll get to see once, a baby I know I'll never be invited to see again, though she lives less than 5 minutes away. Plaster on the grins and cry when I get home. So, scripted faces, sugary voices, without any choices. A fun time for sure. I like yours better. ;)
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Wow, Susan! You gave me a gift of your sharing a personal tragedy in your life, which will soon be focused on pleasing 'the folks'. I am moved by your story. I can see how the lines in my poem jump out at you as you relate them to your own life. When you get home from the family picture, I'll be crying with you. Such pain should not be faced alone.
Thank you so much for this wonderfully sad review and for the radiant six star rating! Best of luck in the new year.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from AvL
J. J. D. explores the conundrum of synaesthesia in the above poem, whose novel rhyme-scheme is abc X 4 d. The question/theme of this work is that delicate balance between the desire for individuality, and the need to remain connected to others. Well-done.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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J. J. D. explores the conundrum of synaesthesia in the above poem, whose novel rhyme-scheme is abc X 4 d. The question/theme of this work is that delicate balance between the desire for individuality, and the need to remain connected to others. Well-done.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Thank you for this extraordinary review. Your knowledge and insight of, and into what this is about, is amazingly accurate. I appreciate your interpretation and kind words. Thank you for an excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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To JJD:
As a born critic -- in the mostly positive sense of that term -- I read well, and penetratingly, also. Be well ... and please continue to write good poetry.
AvL
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I am not surprised. And I will continue to write the best poetry I can.
Jesse
Comment from rama devi
I love the use of 'smiling word - splendid personification!
Interesting subject, well voiced, especially in these lines:
My senses were absurd
All taking place
Without any choice
Strong closing note:
How do I flee the herd
Without attempting to erase
Everything that destroys
My desire to maintain normalcy
Good flow. It works fine without punctuation, but I suggest not capping each line for smoothest enjambment (optional---as it reads fine without doing so). Example:
I searched for one smiling word
read one scripted face
tasted one sweetened voice
My senses were absurd
all taking place
without any choice
My thoughts overheard
in public space
above crowded noise
How do I flee the herd
without attempting to erase
everything that destroys
my desire to maintain normalcy
Well done, my friend.
Blessings,
rd
P.S. SCRIPTED FACE is a stroke of genius phrase!
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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I love the use of 'smiling word - splendid personification!
Interesting subject, well voiced, especially in these lines:
My senses were absurd
All taking place
Without any choice
Strong closing note:
How do I flee the herd
Without attempting to erase
Everything that destroys
My desire to maintain normalcy
Good flow. It works fine without punctuation, but I suggest not capping each line for smoothest enjambment (optional---as it reads fine without doing so). Example:
I searched for one smiling word
read one scripted face
tasted one sweetened voice
My senses were absurd
all taking place
without any choice
My thoughts overheard
in public space
above crowded noise
How do I flee the herd
without attempting to erase
everything that destroys
my desire to maintain normalcy
Well done, my friend.
Blessings,
rd
P.S. SCRIPTED FACE is a stroke of genius phrase!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Wow, Rama. This is the best review, I believe, you've ever given me. Thank you for all your kind comments and for the suggestion of not capping each line. I am especially pleased that you chose your favorite phrase. Other people have chosen the same phrase, and related their own lives to it. Thank you very much for your excellent in-depth review, and excellent rating.
Take care, Jesse
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Thanks for your enthusiastic response, Jesse. Blessings, rd
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You're welcome. I am delighted that you found so many things you liked in my latest offering. I think highly of your opinion of my work. Have a great week up ahead.
Take care, Jesse
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Thanks, Jesse. Happy New Year!
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Best wishes for a peaceful and safe new year.
Jesse
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Same for you, my friend.
Comment from lauralumummu
This is my favorite type of poem straight from the soul. I would love to be a bit of a hermit ( flee the herd) but my life won't let me. You are a natural poet. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you a Happy and blessed New Year. Laura
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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This is my favorite type of poem straight from the soul. I would love to be a bit of a hermit ( flee the herd) but my life won't let me. You are a natural poet. Thanks for sharing. Wishing you a Happy and blessed New Year. Laura
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Thank you, Laura, for your high regard for my poem. I appreciate your kind comments.
Best wishes for the new year and beyond.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This is a very thought-provoking poem. Here's my best shot! Though you have a desire to fit in, to be a part of the crowd, but it's sometimes a challenge. As someone who sometimes feels alone in a crowd, I can relate to your poem.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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This is a very thought-provoking poem. Here's my best shot! Though you have a desire to fit in, to be a part of the crowd, but it's sometimes a challenge. As someone who sometimes feels alone in a crowd, I can relate to your poem.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Hi Janice. Yes, it is a challenge to try to fit in. Yet, I like my uniqueness. There needs to be a balance to this, but I haven't yet found it. I am glad this resonates with you. "alone in a crowd" is more common than folks would have us believe. Thank you for your insightful review and kind comments.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from LyndaS
Yo J.J.
After I read this through several times, I was ready to review this. For the first time ever, I clicked on the "view ratings" button and read the feedback on a piece before I left any comments. These reviews gave me pause as I wasn't thinking anything like these other people. So what I say now may be hell and gone from your intent.
Your phrasing, again, is unique and very interesting. "Smiling word", "scripted face", "sweetened voice". I identified the rhyme scheme in my second read through. The last piece I reviewed of yours had a definite directional sign within ('different'). So I looked for one here and there it was...'without any choice' along with 'maintain normalcy'. It was only then I saw everything differently.
"How do I flee the herd without attempting to erase everything that destroys?"
I have a big mouth. I absolutely must talk to everybody. I am always loud and obnoxious at times. On the numerous occasions when I have been drinking, well, I make an ass out of myself. I am always happy and laughing but end up chanting my mantra "Just keep your mouth shut, Lynda." I never do. I pretty much have accepted 'normal' is not within me.
However, I choose to do all of this whether I am drunk or not. It is just me. From this write, I don't think you have any choice at all. There are greater things going on. And I think this causes you great distress.
See? I told you it would not look like your other reviews. I also desire to be normal but it would not be who I truly am. It ain't who you are either.
You reveal much, sir. Eloquently. Another killer write. And I'm tired of you making me think.
Lynda
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Yo J.J.
After I read this through several times, I was ready to review this. For the first time ever, I clicked on the "view ratings" button and read the feedback on a piece before I left any comments. These reviews gave me pause as I wasn't thinking anything like these other people. So what I say now may be hell and gone from your intent.
Your phrasing, again, is unique and very interesting. "Smiling word", "scripted face", "sweetened voice". I identified the rhyme scheme in my second read through. The last piece I reviewed of yours had a definite directional sign within ('different'). So I looked for one here and there it was...'without any choice' along with 'maintain normalcy'. It was only then I saw everything differently.
"How do I flee the herd without attempting to erase everything that destroys?"
I have a big mouth. I absolutely must talk to everybody. I am always loud and obnoxious at times. On the numerous occasions when I have been drinking, well, I make an ass out of myself. I am always happy and laughing but end up chanting my mantra "Just keep your mouth shut, Lynda." I never do. I pretty much have accepted 'normal' is not within me.
However, I choose to do all of this whether I am drunk or not. It is just me. From this write, I don't think you have any choice at all. There are greater things going on. And I think this causes you great distress.
See? I told you it would not look like your other reviews. I also desire to be normal but it would not be who I truly am. It ain't who you are either.
You reveal much, sir. Eloquently. Another killer write. And I'm tired of you making me think.
Lynda
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Hello Lynda. That last line of yours made me laugh. Thanks for ending this on a humorous tone. I also see some truth in it. This is what I do...I encourage people to think about themselves, sometimes in areas they would rather not go.
Thank you so much for the exceptional rating! Your review reveals me as well as you. "Who's that man hiding behind the curtain?" It's me, and in another way, it's you, too. Let's be ourselves. Whoever we choose to be. Thanks for the extensive review and personal story of you. Your insight is astounding. You have made my day special.
Take care, Jesse
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You are welcome sir.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem to be unique in our own way as well being accepted as we are. It is not always easy in a world for so many unique people to fit in every situation. There are the judgmental people who scrutinize every movement others make.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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A very well-written poem to be unique in our own way as well being accepted as we are. It is not always easy in a world for so many unique people to fit in every situation. There are the judgmental people who scrutinize every movement others make.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Thank you, Sandra, for this affirming review. Your kind words are appreciated. And, yes, that is the goal of so many unique people. But, it would be a shame if we were all the same. Thank you for your excellent review and rating.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Jesse,
To answer the question you pose at the end of your exceptionally well -crafted free verse poetic offering: Just do you!
In truth, that is all anyone can do in a world that caters to lemmings...
Thought provoking poetry...
Best wishes for the new year!
Diane
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Hello Jesse,
To answer the question you pose at the end of your exceptionally well -crafted free verse poetic offering: Just do you!
In truth, that is all anyone can do in a world that caters to lemmings...
Thought provoking poetry...
Best wishes for the new year!
Diane
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Hello Diane. Wow, thank you so much for the kind words and exceptional rating! I like your reference to the lemmings. They all follow each other over a cliff. I'll just have to stay back and watch them. Your advice is wonderful and just what I needed to hear. I wish you a great new year, as well.
Take care, Jesse
Comment from Joan E.
I think most of us are striving for this balance between uniqueness and belonging. I admired the way you expressed your feelings and your rhyme scheme in these tercets. Here's to "normalcy"--whatever that means! Thanks for sharing the dramatic, smile-generating artwork as well. Enjoy your holiday Sunday- Joan
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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I think most of us are striving for this balance between uniqueness and belonging. I admired the way you expressed your feelings and your rhyme scheme in these tercets. Here's to "normalcy"--whatever that means! Thanks for sharing the dramatic, smile-generating artwork as well. Enjoy your holiday Sunday- Joan
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Hello Joan. I think you're right, but a lot of us are too afraid to admit it. I took a chance with this one, and I'm glad people can relate. Thank you very much for your admiration, and for noticing the rhyme scheme. It was challenging, but I loved doing it. I am overjoyed by your exceptional rating! I am glad my artwork brought a smile to your face. Have a great Sunday, and best wishes for the new year.
Take care, Jesse
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Thanks for your courage to share very personal feelings. I am glad you found your self-imposed form satisfying to create. I appreciate your good wishes and hope the new year is peaceful and productive- Joan
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Hi Joan.
I'm glad you appreciate the courage it took to, not only face these feelings but, to share them with others. Peaceful and productive sound good to me. Let's hope for the best we have to offer.
Jesse
Comment from May 1
I love the visual appearance of your poem, and how beautifully you start your poem. Also, I love the ending, the need to escape from the herd and the impossibility to do so, it's beautifully written.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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I love the visual appearance of your poem, and how beautifully you start your poem. Also, I love the ending, the need to escape from the herd and the impossibility to do so, it's beautifully written.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2019
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2019
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Thank you, May, for choosing the parts of my poem you like the best. That is always helpful. I agree that is seems impossible to escape, to a certain degree, from the herd. They will always be there. Thank you for your kind comments, and for the excellent review and rating. Have a great new year.
Take care, Jesse
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You're welcome. Have a great New Year, as well.
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Thanks, again.
Jesse
