Mamaragan
An exercise with slant rhyme used for a purpose (see note)42 total reviews
Comment from damommy
You did a lovely job with this slant rhyme, Tony. I like to read anything about mythology of any culture. I especially enjoyed having your read it. That was a special touch. Comparing the leaves to puppies pulling on a leash is good imagery. All in all, good job!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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You did a lovely job with this slant rhyme, Tony. I like to read anything about mythology of any culture. I especially enjoyed having your read it. That was a special touch. Comparing the leaves to puppies pulling on a leash is good imagery. All in all, good job!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Yvonne. I appreciate your kind comments. Sorry that you haven't been able to join us in the class. I hope all is well. All the best, Tony
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Yes, everything is fine except I've overextended myself. I hope to catch a class soon. I miss speaking with you.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This skillfully-written poem uses vivid descriptions, figurative and literal,
to convey images from two worlds--the ancient and mythological and the
modern scene with kids and kites.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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This skillfully-written poem uses vivid descriptions, figurative and literal,
to convey images from two worlds--the ancient and mythological and the
modern scene with kids and kites.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Janice. I appreciate your kind comments. All the best, Tony
Comment from Sandra Elizabeth Williams
Oh, this is perfect, just so perfect. The metaphors are strong and makes the story compelling. Words... Words will get you anywhere and I have learnt a new word today, 'susurrates'. I fall in love with words and I love the sound of this word, so soft as silk like the leaves that it describes.
The audio does truly complement the work, as do the artwork and your notes.
Truly brilliant!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Oh, this is perfect, just so perfect. The metaphors are strong and makes the story compelling. Words... Words will get you anywhere and I have learnt a new word today, 'susurrates'. I fall in love with words and I love the sound of this word, so soft as silk like the leaves that it describes.
The audio does truly complement the work, as do the artwork and your notes.
Truly brilliant!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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What a lovely review. You?ve made my day! All the best, Tony.
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My pleasure!
Comment from Irish Rain
Well this is just wonderful.
I loved every line, and I really like the slant rhymes.
I love 'Mamaragan.'
I do wish he'd visit here more often as I love storms.
The kites circling is an awesome finish, as that's what they'll do when the strings are released, before they land.
Love the little puppy thinking it's playtime, ha ha.
Just wonderful!
Blessings...
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Well this is just wonderful.
I loved every line, and I really like the slant rhymes.
I love 'Mamaragan.'
I do wish he'd visit here more often as I love storms.
The kites circling is an awesome finish, as that's what they'll do when the strings are released, before they land.
Love the little puppy thinking it's playtime, ha ha.
Just wonderful!
Blessings...
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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What a lovely review. You?ve made my day. We could do with a visit from the storm god, too I think he?s overstayed his welcome in Queensland.
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You're most welcome...truly memorable.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do like this poem. I am still struggling understanding the exact meaning of a slant rhyme but I'm working on it. I struggle with poetry. I do enjoy reading it. I just don't always understand the mechanics.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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I do like this poem. I am still struggling understanding the exact meaning of a slant rhyme but I'm working on it. I struggle with poetry. I do enjoy reading it. I just don't always understand the mechanics.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Barbara. Slant rhyme or near rhyme is not quite perfect. Cat and mat are perfect rhymes, whereas Cat and met are imperfect but near rhymes.
Comment from royowen
I'm glad you explained the slant rhyme Tony, it's only seasoned veterans that use it this cleverly, and I must admit I'm not their yet, but I'm further on than I was last year. Beautifully written, I enjoyed the reading as well, as yet, I've had no success uploading. Most enjoyable Tony, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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I'm glad you explained the slant rhyme Tony, it's only seasoned veterans that use it this cleverly, and I must admit I'm not their yet, but I'm further on than I was last year. Beautifully written, I enjoyed the reading as well, as yet, I've had no success uploading. Most enjoyable Tony, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Many thanks for for your lovely review, Roy. Seasoned veterans is a great euphemism for old codgers! LOL
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Heh heh, me too
Comment from jmshumate
This is a really interesting poem. I like the mythology of this story, and the rhyme and flow to your words are really good in this poem. This was a fun read, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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This is a really interesting poem. I like the mythology of this story, and the rhyme and flow to your words are really good in this poem. This was a fun read, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Very many thanks for your review, jmshumate, and for the generous award of a sixth star. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from CD Richards
What a fantastic tale you've woven here, Tony. The rhyme (both perfect and slant) is exceptional, and it strikes me as a great way to use them. Your meter is impeccable.
One small point, and it isn't enough for me to detract from the maximum rating... you seem to be a bit inconsistent with your capitalisation of the first letter of lines. Sometimes you use a cap mid-sentence, other times not. I've noticed I have to be careful about this when composing in Word, as it automatically capitalises where I don't want it to... or perhaps you have a specific reason in mind.
In any case, I love the story, and hearing you read it was an unexpected, and most welcome, bonus. Bravo!
Craig
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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What a fantastic tale you've woven here, Tony. The rhyme (both perfect and slant) is exceptional, and it strikes me as a great way to use them. Your meter is impeccable.
One small point, and it isn't enough for me to detract from the maximum rating... you seem to be a bit inconsistent with your capitalisation of the first letter of lines. Sometimes you use a cap mid-sentence, other times not. I've noticed I have to be careful about this when composing in Word, as it automatically capitalises where I don't want it to... or perhaps you have a specific reason in mind.
In any case, I love the story, and hearing you read it was an unexpected, and most welcome, bonus. Bravo!
Craig
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Very many thanks for your kind words, Craig, and for the six-star award. Much appreciated. Thanks, too, for picking up the inconsistencies in capitalisation. Now corrected. Word always seems to think it knows better! All the best, Tony
Comment from nancyjam
I so enjoyed your wonderful reading of your poem.
The rhyme and meter are perfectly crafted to fit
the images,
Loved hearing your voice which really brings it to life.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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I so enjoyed your wonderful reading of your poem.
The rhyme and meter are perfectly crafted to fit
the images,
Loved hearing your voice which really brings it to life.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Nancy
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Very many thanks, Nancy, for your supportive review and for the six stars. Most affirming. Glad you enjoyed the voiceover! It's a while since I've tried that. All the best, Tony
Comment from Bill Pinder
This is a very interesting and well written poem. You did a great job of keeping the readers interest with a variety of expressive words and include visual effects and sounds. I learned something new about the god that you introduced.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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This is a very interesting and well written poem. You did a great job of keeping the readers interest with a variety of expressive words and include visual effects and sounds. I learned something new about the god that you introduced.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Very many thanks for your review, Bill, and your supportive comments. Thanks, too, for the six stars. Very much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony