Free Verse Collection 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Time is Kept Inside"selections for seal submission
39 total reviews
Comment from nordicgirl
Whoa, Michael, I can hear you saying these words. This is very you. Perfect song too, the Stones, older, not NOW old. I cracked up at some of this, but I got it too. This is the you I like best. NG
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Whoa, Michael, I can hear you saying these words. This is very you. Perfect song too, the Stones, older, not NOW old. I cracked up at some of this, but I got it too. This is the you I like best. NG
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
Comment from LIJ Red
Sometimes the squadron makes it through rocks and shoals and you can swap semaphore for a while, but the sails get raggeder and the sea gets bigger... looks very appropriate for the prompt.
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Sometimes the squadron makes it through rocks and shoals and you can swap semaphore for a while, but the sails get raggeder and the sea gets bigger... looks very appropriate for the prompt.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
don't fall
it's just a swoon
the blue June moon
found bells in
Levi bottom's
well, they know the score
won't bore them with the tale....I love this. If someone told me what life was like Iwould have opted not to embark upon it. Getting older, watching ourselves waste, losing looks, love, brainpower, everything....you did some great work here xxxxMeia
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don't fall
it's just a swoon
the blue June moon
found bells in
Levi bottom's
well, they know the score
won't bore them with the tale....I love this. If someone told me what life was like Iwould have opted not to embark upon it. Getting older, watching ourselves waste, losing looks, love, brainpower, everything....you did some great work here xxxxMeia
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
Comment from Susan Chetcuti
Your poem is truly amazing. The beginning was wonderfully crafted in catching my attention. This is the first poem I have read in quiet awhile as I have been away from this site for ages. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to read yours. Loved the bit about Peter Pan, one of my favorite childhood stories. This is so worthy of a six.
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Your poem is truly amazing. The beginning was wonderfully crafted in catching my attention. This is the first poem I have read in quiet awhile as I have been away from this site for ages. I'm so glad I got the opportunity to read yours. Loved the bit about Peter Pan, one of my favorite childhood stories. This is so worthy of a six.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written free verse poem. Most of us grow old and we all do it differently. Some become graceful, others are grumpy, and some grow old physucally but the child he was is still inside somewhere.
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A very well-written free verse poem. Most of us grow old and we all do it differently. Some become graceful, others are grumpy, and some grow old physucally but the child he was is still inside somewhere.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
Comment from Mabaker
I don't write poetry, and some I don't understand very well, however this one kept jogging along and I can reasonably say I understood most of it. I hope you did/do well in the contest. Sincerely Mabaker.
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I don't write poetry, and some I don't understand very well, however this one kept jogging along and I can reasonably say I understood most of it. I hope you did/do well in the contest. Sincerely Mabaker.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, this poem meets the prompt requirement, and it's structure is loose and free - the lyrics present as a soliloquy, both as acceptance of oneself and lifestyle and earnest chide...
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reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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In my opinion, this poem meets the prompt requirement, and it's structure is loose and free - the lyrics present as a soliloquy, both as acceptance of oneself and lifestyle and earnest chide...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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Thanks so much. I appreciate the kind words and perfect analysis. :))
Since you offered four stars, I was wondering if you had any suggestions for improvement? mike
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You are very welcome, Mike - I cannot offer any suggestions because it's my opinion, and how it affected me personally - sorry...Eve
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No problem. Just wondering. I'm always open to any suggestions. Thanks again. mike
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I cannot offer more information for this work, Mike, because it just isn't my taste in poetry, that's all. I always preface my reviews with the fact it is my opinion; therefore, I am unable to provide further explanation than that. Since I am more of a "formalist" or traditional writer, I view others' poems in this way as well. I offered my honest view, which, again, is only mine...Eve
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:))
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Sorry, I don't understand your response, Mike. As I mentioned, I am a traditional person, and at 79, I am satisfied with traditional communication. I really am completely disinterested in adopting all the newest waves of communication, because, as a writer, I prefer the words, which I readily comprehend - thank for your anticipated understanding...Eve
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It took me quite a while to adopt some of the symbols they use to communicate with these days. I had no idea what many of them meant for the longest time, still don't. :)) that represents a smile, it indicates a friendly "I understand, all's well". mike Save
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Thank you so much for your explanation, Mike - I definitely appreciate your kind gesture and accommodating words. It seems I have so many priorities these days, that I've drawn the line on deciphering. I thought I would be able to relax and devote my time to writing in these later years, but it just isn't happening the way I planned. I'm writing, yes, but in between everything else, as it's always been - didn't mean to editorialize. Thank you for your patience in reading this...Eve
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent. This poem is really cute and the artwork is perfect for the story you tell. It should be a great entry for the contest. It is well-written and fun to read. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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Excellent. This poem is really cute and the artwork is perfect for the story you tell. It should be a great entry for the contest. It is well-written and fun to read. I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a fun and funky entry for the 'Yay! I'm Getting Old' contest.
The picture made me smile because I think that's me, except the female version.
Well done and good luck in the competition.
Sharon
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is a fun and funky entry for the 'Yay! I'm Getting Old' contest.
The picture made me smile because I think that's me, except the female version.
Well done and good luck in the competition.
Sharon
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2017