Question Mark
There's no waking up from this nightmare.50 total reviews
Comment from Kerry Foley
This is a fantastic poem, or should I say lyrics. I love your repetitive lines. They really fit in nicely. What I loved the most was all the little stories, thinking they were all different until the end where they all tied together. This definitely qualifies for worst nightmare writing prompt. Well done, a very sad story. Thank you for telling us entirely in your notes. Good luck, my friend. ~Kerry
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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This is a fantastic poem, or should I say lyrics. I love your repetitive lines. They really fit in nicely. What I loved the most was all the little stories, thinking they were all different until the end where they all tied together. This definitely qualifies for worst nightmare writing prompt. Well done, a very sad story. Thank you for telling us entirely in your notes. Good luck, my friend. ~Kerry
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Yes, Kerry, the stories. Separately they may not make sense, but collectively they form a devastating story. A mother sees a distressed man at a petting zoo, a hiker in the hills hears what she thinks are fireworks, a dog waits for his family to come home. Instead, the police break down the door. I worked hard to tell a story composed of stories to move the action forward to its devastating conclusion. Thank you for your review of my song.
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You are very welcome, Andre, I didn't know it was you, lol, your name wasn't there before. lol. It was terrific.
Comment from Bobby Jo
Wow, touching and sad! this world is full of tragic incidents that we try to immune ourselves too. What a great tribute.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Wow, touching and sad! this world is full of tragic incidents that we try to immune ourselves too. What a great tribute.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Thank you, Bobby Jo, for your generous, six star review of my tribute. The deaths of so many people I knew shocked me.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Poet,
First, I am so sorry that you actually knew this family and had to go through the loss and horror of this daylight nightmare. It's a true tragedy.
This poem/song is a kind tribute to the family and to all those who have to go in this kind of unfathomable way. I like the repeating refrain. It made the song. Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Dear Mystery Poet,
First, I am so sorry that you actually knew this family and had to go through the loss and horror of this daylight nightmare. It's a true tragedy.
This poem/song is a kind tribute to the family and to all those who have to go in this kind of unfathomable way. I like the repeating refrain. It made the song. Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Thank you, Robyn, for your generous review of my song and for your condolences. Everyone who knew the family kept asking "Why?" "My face a question mark" was a fitting refrain. Thank you also for wishing me good luck in the contest.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh my God, how awful; what a terrible tragedy, and so difficult for anyone who knew this family as you did - my sincere condolences!
Your lyrics are chilling - a nightmare for sure. "Question Mark" is a perfect title for this outstanding poem as well. Why? For God's sake, why? Finances!!! ???
I don't even want to imagine the music that would accompany these words, yet I am, and more than pure sorrow, there is the same eerie sound playing in my head as emanates from your writing.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Oh my God, how awful; what a terrible tragedy, and so difficult for anyone who knew this family as you did - my sincere condolences!
Your lyrics are chilling - a nightmare for sure. "Question Mark" is a perfect title for this outstanding poem as well. Why? For God's sake, why? Finances!!! ???
I don't even want to imagine the music that would accompany these words, yet I am, and more than pure sorrow, there is the same eerie sound playing in my head as emanates from your writing.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Yes, Ideasaregems-Dawn, a haunting melody for this song was just going through my head before I read your generous, six star review. This was a terrible tragedy. Imagine my horror when I opened the paper and saw Kevin on the front page. I will never forget the family. I am glad I honored their memory with a song. Thank you for your review and condolences.
Comment from Boogienights
You did a very good job writing about something terrible.it must have been a shock, especially having known the family.your poem is well written, easy to understand and sparks emotion in the reader. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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You did a very good job writing about something terrible.it must have been a shock, especially having known the family.your poem is well written, easy to understand and sparks emotion in the reader. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Yes, Boogienights, this was a terrible tragedy. I knew the family and had just been in their skin-care clinic. It is hard to believe they were killed ten years ago because it feels like yesterday. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Justin Chopin
Very detailed post. Was very intrigued by the refrain/ chant like nature of your "just a question mark" portion of your poetry because it displays your confusion at how somebody you knew could do such an unspeakable and insidious crime. This piece has a great rhythm to it its pace was very quick which to me seemed to make the madness of what you experienced become more vivid and real. Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Very detailed post. Was very intrigued by the refrain/ chant like nature of your "just a question mark" portion of your poetry because it displays your confusion at how somebody you knew could do such an unspeakable and insidious crime. This piece has a great rhythm to it its pace was very quick which to me seemed to make the madness of what you experienced become more vivid and real. Well done.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Yes, Justin, the refrain portrays the questions and confusion felt by many of the people who knew them. They seemed like an ideal family with a loving, doting husband, a loving wife who owned her own business, and two daughters who were fun and creative. Thank you for your review and for noting my song's rhythm.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Possummagic
An interesting poem. As an Australian I wouldn't have necessarily heard of these tragedies. I can imagine if it was close to you that it would affect you enormously. I like your choice of songs. PM
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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An interesting poem. As an Australian I wouldn't have necessarily heard of these tragedies. I can imagine if it was close to you that it would affect you enormously. I like your choice of songs. PM
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Thank you, PM, for your thoughtful review. Yes, it's hard when I actually knew the whole family.
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Oh that's awful. I'm so sorry that this happened to people that you knew. Bless. PM
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a chilling story of great tragedy and one of the reasons why I am against people owning guns. Your poem has amazing structure, it drew me into the story and this chilling tale leaves you stunned into silence. For your expressive poem and amazing words I award a six, this story leaves me feeling mournful though, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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This is a chilling story of great tragedy and one of the reasons why I am against people owning guns. Your poem has amazing structure, it drew me into the story and this chilling tale leaves you stunned into silence. For your expressive poem and amazing words I award a six, this story leaves me feeling mournful though, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Yes, Dolly, Kevin had bought his gun two months before the murder and several blocks from his wife's skin-care clinic, and then he timed the murders to occur after both Father's Day and Nikki's birthday.
Thank you for your generous, six star review and for noting the structure of my song which pulled you into my chilling story.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about a not t understandable action of violence on his own family for an unknown reason. It is hard to figure out why people do these kind of thing.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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A very well-written poem about a not t understandable action of violence on his own family for an unknown reason. It is hard to figure out why people do these kind of thing.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Yes, Sandra, we will never know all of the answers of this tragedy. Thank you for your review and for calling my song well-written.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Wow...
Your powerfully portrayed poem really packs a poignant punch, Andre. It's made all the more chilling because it is based on truth.
Sadly, we'll probably never know what caused Kevin Morrissey to snap.
Those of you who knew little Lena, Nikki, and the mother, Dr Mamiko Kawai, will simply have to deal with the horror of the loss and try to remember them as the loving, living people they once were.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Wow...
Your powerfully portrayed poem really packs a poignant punch, Andre. It's made all the more chilling because it is based on truth.
Sadly, we'll probably never know what caused Kevin Morrissey to snap.
Those of you who knew little Lena, Nikki, and the mother, Dr Mamiko Kawai, will simply have to deal with the horror of the loss and try to remember them as the loving, living people they once were.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017
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Yes, Dean, I focus on the family's smiles and laughter, which is why I have the girls' giggles as the chorus of my song.
Thank you for your review and for wishing me the best in the contest.
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Okay, my pleasure.