Reviews from

senryu (kids watermelon)

senryu

58 total reviews 
Comment from apky
Excellent
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Thanks for the wonderful explanations -
they were really helpful. I'm no good with
poetry but the more I read them here on FS
the more I'm getting into them.
I do my jinji in affairs of the heart!
Best,
Apky

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, Apky, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
Excellent
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This is a wonderful gyoji haiku, a lovely picture you have painted of kids and teachers having a contest of spitting water melon seeds at the school picnic.
Have a lovely day

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, YNWA, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Karyn,

Well you learn something new everyday. So many people have opinions on what constitutes correct form and use these days, you never can figure it out! lol

I like the imagery in this one. It brings a smile. Reminds me of some of the things I used to get up to with the kids I looked after for so many years.

Nice 'non-traditional' syllable count too (see what I did there)

All the best
G

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, G, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku. You're right about haiku, and there seems to be some strange new things floating around these days wasn't taught. The form seems to change all the time.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
Comment from Vijay Kumar V
Excellent
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Haha, really it reminds me and my mother having a tough fight in our small backyard which is her only recreation growing all varieties of flowers and she's more delighted watching them grow.
I don't know why we spend

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, Lova Vijay Kumar, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Some teachers are just cool like that, Karyn.
Good haiku, very nice coloring and composition.
Good concrete imagery, nice kigo, good satori.
Good job.
Happy Easter.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, Dean, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku. What do kids do these days with seedless watermelons? It was always a great chance to spit without getting into trouble.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
reply by Dean Kuch on 21-Apr-2017
    You're welcome, Karyn.
    Congrats on your placing in the site contest.
    That's awesome!
    Have a great weekend.
    ~Dean :)
Comment from Kerry Foley
Excellent
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This is a wonderfully cute Haiku. I like the notes you put explaining the differences.
Good luck to you, and Happy Easter. ~KERRY~~~

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, Kerry, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
reply by Kerry Foley on 21-Apr-2017
    Your welcome
Comment from honeytree
Excellent
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Their are a lot
of seeds in a watermelon
I guess a lot of children
would have some fun
good to be young again
and have some fun.

Honeytree

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, honeytree, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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In my youth, I was a participant of many a watermelon seed fight. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, Charlie, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
Comment from kathleenspalding
Excellent
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Haha! How cute! Sweet haiku gave me a chuckle. Flows well and creates a joyful scene using very few words. I appreciate the informative author's notes.

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    Thanks for your kind review, Kathleen, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)
reply by kathleenspalding on 21-Apr-2017
    You're welcome
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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Sounds like a side-splitting experience as well as a seed-spitting one! Hilarious! This is my kind of teacher. The sort of activity that one might record on the curriculum sheets as botanical studies!

 Comment Written 16-Apr-2017


reply by the author on 21-Apr-2017
    LOL only a teacher would find a reason for seed spitting to coincide with studies! Thanks for your kind review, Tony, and I appreciate your taking the time to read and share your feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed my watermelon haiku.
    Smiles,
    Karyn :-)