Comment from Kassa-Leigh

Excellent

This was very well written and an interesting read. I'm sorry you had to go through this and I hope it had a happy ending! I read that you hope you will write a book someday . . . Well, I think you are talented enough to do just that! Good luck! I look forward to reading more of your story. God bless!
Cheryl-Lynette

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016

Thank you so much Cheryl-Lynette, I am please that you enjoy my story. All the best. Ulla

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Four and half hour - add a (Four and a half) and add s on hour
Again I leaned back - Again,

This lawyer must have gotten some money to play games like this with you. It amazes me that someone would actually take the time to act like this. I'm anxious to hear more on your father. This chapter flowed well.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2016

Hi Mel, thank you so much and I have done the corrections. All the best. Ulla

reply by MelB on 02-Mar-2016

You're welcome.

Comment from Drew Delaney

Excellent

You write real well, Ulla. I found a few things though that could be improved upon. Hope you don't mind!

-OK change to alright.

-Four and half hour(s) until I had to check in for my return flight. -- Four-and-a-half-hours until

-I ran out of the building, after a brief thank you, and through (threw) myself at the first taxi came my way.

-for the briefest of time. I ( for a brief time)

-there are two brief's in this one paragraph. Try to find another word for one of them.

-Gods would be spelled with a small g

-What was more was that I was (What's more)
Is the same but less wordy

Your story is amazing. I always enjoy reading your work.

Drew xx

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2016

Hi Drew, thanks a lot, and you are generous. It needed a lot of editing which I've done and thanks so much for helping me along. I think it reads much better now. All the best. Ulla:))

Comment from bob cullen

Excellent

This is an enthralling story. It could however do with an edit, I found a number of errors.
In the paragraph commencing: 'I ran out of the building...' you 'through' yourself into the taxi. It should have been 'threw.'

I can't wait to read the next instalment

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2016

Hi Bob, thanks a lot for this and you are so right. I have done extensive editing and I think it reads a lot better not. Thanks for helping me along. All the best. Ulla

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Thanks for another of your enjoyable chapters that just about has me out of breath from just reading it. Now, I can only sit and hope something was able to be done to keep that nasty lawyer's grubbing mitts off your adopted mother's assets. Great chapter. :-)
(add)

>>I'm leaving the (church) after the funeral, when a voice rings out.

[Four hours and a half until . . .] [Which, may work better]
>>Four and (a) half hour(s) until I had to check in for my return flight.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016

Hi Ric, thanks very much and sorry to be so latein answering. I have made the corrections and many more edits. More to follow soon. All the best. Ulla

Comment from higgybop

Excellent

This story drew me in and hooked me despite all the distractions around me as I read it. I really want to know what happens next-the hallmark of a great story. Thank you for sharing and please continue writing.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 03-Mar-2016

Thank you so much. Pleased that you managed to read. More to follow soon. All the best. Ulla

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

Ulla--
Pant, pant! Rather exhausting...and exciting to try to keep up with. Here are a few problems on the way. Yours seem to concentrate toward the ends of your posts. Maybe not surprising.

Four and half hour() until I had to check in for my return flight. -- hours

and (through) myself at the first taxi -- threw

I paid, jumped out(.) and ran up the stairs to yet another office. -- probably a comma here or nothing.

looked at me with a bemused look -- Just one too many "look" here, think you need another word.

Best
Jeff

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016

Hi Jeff, thank you so much. I have done quite an extensive review to this and rewritten it in several places. I think I released a tad too early. You have helped me along the way. I hope it reads better now. It was a race against time though. More to come soon. Thanks for helping me with this. All the best. Ulla:))

Comment from Bill O'Bier

Excellent

I appreciated this installment of your story and was drawn in. Again good descriptive language and dialogue

Thanks for sharing.
Bill

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016

Thanks a lot for this, Bill. All the best. Ulla

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

1.) Four and half hour(s) until I had to check in for my return flight.

2.) I ran out of the building, after a brief thank you, and (threw) myself at the first taxi

3.) Again I leaned back in the back seat of the cab
--> leaned (against) the back seat of the cab...

Oooohhh....I'm still mad about this. Go, Ulla, go!

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016

Hi Robyn, Thanks a lot and made the corrections and many more. Yeah, he was a nasty piece of work that lawyer. All the best. Ulla

Comment from Sasha

Excellent

This is fascinating. From what I remember your adoptive father and you was quite different than that with your adoptive mother. I do hope he made other arrangements for you that help change the terrible situation you find yourself in now. I've use up my 10 minute daily allotment and so pleased I used it for this one.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016

Oh, Sasha, thanks a lot. Yes my adoptive father was a lovely person but died when I was at the tender age of seventeen. And then my adoptive mother started to show her true face wich wasn't a nice one. Thanks so much for spending your precious time to review me. You don't know what it means to me. Keep me posted with your progress, please. Love. Ullax

reply by Sasha on 28-Feb-2016

I am a about the same but feel I am starting to heal. I am still in a lot of pain but I think that goes along with the healing.

reply by the author on 28-Feb-2016

I am so pleased that you feel there is a some improvement. I'm crossing my fingers. Please do let me know. Ulla:)))