2015 Haiku
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "5/7/5 ( I love winter cold! )"A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015
49 total reviews
Comment from Nan Beeson
Great photo to begin with to start off the 5-7-5 prompt of loving the winter cold.
"I love winter cold!
Frozen lakes and silver sky,
the shy sunrays hide"
The first line makes a direct statement
Second line gives a Visual description, and
Third line is the clincher!
"The shy sunrays hide."
I really like that line.
It meets all the requirements...
Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely, Nan:)).
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Great photo to begin with to start off the 5-7-5 prompt of loving the winter cold.
"I love winter cold!
Frozen lakes and silver sky,
the shy sunrays hide"
The first line makes a direct statement
Second line gives a Visual description, and
Third line is the clincher!
"The shy sunrays hide."
I really like that line.
It meets all the requirements...
Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely, Nan:)).
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you Nan :)
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice photo to go with poem.
-You have a good format and presentation.
-Very good imagery in the poem.
-The first line is very definite--almost makes one shiver to think of cold!!
-Vivid imagery in line two continues with a winter scene.
-Effective conclusion with alliteration and description with 'shy' and 'hide' that emphasizes the more bleak nature of some winter days.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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-Very nice photo to go with poem.
-You have a good format and presentation.
-Very good imagery in the poem.
-The first line is very definite--almost makes one shiver to think of cold!!
-Vivid imagery in line two continues with a winter scene.
-Effective conclusion with alliteration and description with 'shy' and 'hide' that emphasizes the more bleak nature of some winter days.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
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You are welcome.
Comment from MsPetra
This is great. For a 5/7/5 you nailed it.
This is a fantastic representation of winter, frozen lakes and silver sky.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Please keep writing. I will be looking forward to future offerings from you.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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This is great. For a 5/7/5 you nailed it.
This is a fantastic representation of winter, frozen lakes and silver sky.
I wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Please keep writing. I will be looking forward to future offerings from you.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a very nice Ode to Winter poem. During these hot summer days (at least in the U.S.) the cold does really sound good. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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This is a very nice Ode to Winter poem. During these hot summer days (at least in the U.S.) the cold does really sound good. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
Comment from LeslieP5
Excellent ode to winter. I can see the frozen lakes and silver sky and the satori line "the shy sunrays hide." is perfect. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Excellent ode to winter. I can see the frozen lakes and silver sky and the satori line "the shy sunrays hide." is perfect. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
Comment from Pantygynt
With a 5-7-5 you can have anything as long as the form is right. It is so you can. It has to be an ode, a song of praise to winter and this is. Looks like you're getting everything right.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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With a 5-7-5 you can have anything as long as the form is right. It is so you can. It has to be an ode, a song of praise to winter and this is. Looks like you're getting everything right.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
Comment from sibhus
Great lines. You have definitely caught the moment of a winter day with your well crafted words. I can really see, or recall a winter's day as I read these words. The sun slightly hidden by the clouds as the frozen lake shimmers in the afternoon cold. A great piece and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Great lines. You have definitely caught the moment of a winter day with your well crafted words. I can really see, or recall a winter's day as I read these words. The sun slightly hidden by the clouds as the frozen lake shimmers in the afternoon cold. A great piece and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
Comment from bard owl
The sun rays are truly shy. That warm of the sun just isn't present in the winter. Silver does seem to be a dominate color, as opposed the gold of summer. This is an excellent ode to winter. Best of luck to you.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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The sun rays are truly shy. That warm of the sun just isn't present in the winter. Silver does seem to be a dominate color, as opposed the gold of summer. This is an excellent ode to winter. Best of luck to you.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
Comment from Sis Cat
This 5-7-5 ode to winter made me smile. It is vivid. I can also feel the chill of winter cold. The satori line "the sun's shy rays hides." is also effective in describing the season. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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This 5-7-5 ode to winter made me smile. It is vivid. I can also feel the chill of winter cold. The satori line "the sun's shy rays hides." is also effective in describing the season. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you for the review :)
Comment from Dawn Munro
This is a very lovely 5-7-5 ode to winter poem, calling to mind those wonderful days of ice skating on the well-frozen lakes of my birthplace. I loved the alliteration as well - silver sky, shy sunrays - nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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This is a very lovely 5-7-5 ode to winter poem, calling to mind those wonderful days of ice skating on the well-frozen lakes of my birthplace. I loved the alliteration as well - silver sky, shy sunrays - nicely done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2015
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Thank you Dawn :)
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My pleasure. :)