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Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Christmas Card and the Library"
GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!

45 total reviews 
Comment from Spiritual Echo
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

First, the incident with the fifty-cent gift card was so beautifully set up that my ten-year-old grandson expressed deep sorrow for your son's misfortune when I read this part of the story to him.

Second, why did you give up the blog?

The introspection about the value of the written word and those who seek to uncover their own appetite for reading--poignant.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    I'm so pleased you read this to your grandson. Humbled! I never really gave up the blog. It just kinda sits there unused. New subscribers don't know my last entry was about two years ago. I still get about ten new subscribers a week. I'm not kidding you when I say that FS has become my full-time job. Thanks for enjoying and SO MUCH for the six. Mine have been gone for days.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Each year, another school year starts and I honestly believe each year it's harder to teach children to read. I see children who don't want to put forth the effort to read, they want it handed to them. I think this is happening because of the instant feedback they get from video games. Anyway, I enjoyed reading your post.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Sadly, I think you are absolutely right about video games. Add to that the instant and abbreviated satisfaction of texting. Thanks, Barbara. So happy you weighed in.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
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I loved the Christmas card story and the rest of the story also. A library is one of my favorite places and I haven't been to one in years. Thanks for sharing. Shirley

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    I'm thinking of taking my laptop to the library this week. They have wi-fi, I can plug in there (and use their electricity). The only thing that keeps me away is my need for coffee and occasional snacks. Not allowed in our library.
Comment from jpduck
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a record -- my last sixer, and it's only Wednesday! Well, tough shit everyone else, because this piece MUST have it. This is wholly accessible Squires; lyrical Squires.

Not only was I utterly entertained, but I had to look up pablum. So you also continue to enrich my education.

'whispering walls of the Library.' (Perfect).

A couple of suggestions:

'plucked randomly from one of the thousand of shelves' (Either pluralise 'thousand' or delete the succeeding 'of').

'I pick up a one volume Works of Balzac' (I have a feeling it would marginally increase clarity to hyphenate 'one volume').


Adrian


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Ah, Adrian. M'man! Thank you so much for the sixer. But more than that, your generous plaudits. Pablum might be an American word, I don't know. I made the other two suggested changes. It is a delight to see someone reading not only the text and the message underlying it, but also takes the time so show me how to make it better, while making me look more intelligent than I really am.
Comment from --Turtle.
Excellent
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since they(he and his wife?) were going through a financial rough patch, this gave

was my other son, Joe, who also loves movies)[,]? that the brothers went to the
(I'm not sure about that comma, recheck it?)

she said[,] around her chewing gum.
(do delete this one though)


One backpack (was) so filled with books the wearer was forced to walk in an

and almost trip over a young man, hoisting in his arms a mountain of books, one of which slides down the slope(,) and while he bends to pick it up two more fall, and making a wild grasp for all of them the entire mountain collapses.
(This sentence made me pause... I think the young man hoisting is an interrupt, but it also could be a restrictive modifier...? and multiple sentences pushed together and I paused.)

squiggles and squams of punctuation still function,(;?) words, almighty slippery,

Overall, I found this entertaining, the flow and point between the two references... I'd have to make something up after the fact to really connect them, but I found myself really caught up in the life story side... Handing a Christmas card to a son, trying to make up for a gift that didn't work out the way it should have. I could see that as a Dad thing to do. Being a bit nutty myself, I might have sent it in the mail... and it might have contained $49.50... The second half, I followed, and it was a cool moment. I don't think my Library is that lively.


 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Your crits are always so personal, Turtle. I love getting them because I can almost see the gears in your mind turning as you read my sentences, particularly when one makes you pause. Thank you for reading and taking so much time with this. I will look at them all very closely.
Comment from mfowler
Excellent
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The two elements of this blog (ie the Christmas Card story about the undervalued Movie pass, and the observation of real and young readers outside a library at Christmas) combine beautifully to create lessons for both relationship and writing. Or, maybe they are all one thing which take this narrative path via your son's library.
The decision to make up the fifty dollars and take it to his workplace is both relational and fair, especially given his financial circumstances. Given that you weren't meant to know about the embarrassment of the encounter with the theatre salesperson, it's clear that he would have been disappointed and maybe, even uncertain as to what you meant by the paltry gift. You go at Christmas to give him hope in renewal. The observation of the children's hope in Christmas, the complexity of the reading list/books which spilt happens at the same time as your visit to your son. It gives a writer who's pondered the value of writing in an age of seemingly illiterate youth, a chance to renew hope in what he does. You name it early in the blog:To meet life's complexities head-on, and write about them, I often write in compound sentences, sometimes complex sentences. Certainly life is complex and to try to wrap it up neatly in glib generalities or throw away metaphors would undervalue just what we experience. Here, the seemingly simple visit throws up complex visions of life imbued with hope, yet neither are that complex within themselves.
A wholesome and thoughtful reflection on life and why we write.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Ah, Mark. You've made my day again! I just adore reading your crits. It's so gratifying to find how much meaning you are able to wring out of my posts. Don't ever give up your membership here. I need you!
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi Jay.

I love that phrase - 'the mystery world inside the whispering walls'.

I love libraries, I always have, ever since I was small. My daughter who is four, thankfully is also a book lover and we take her at least fortnightly. hopefully it will stay with her, too.

I was actually listening to the radio yesterday about a discussion about writing, and talking. With modern technology advancing so rapidly, there may not even be a need for either of these. Emoticons and text-speak are so prevalent. I even have friends who text each other from room to room rather than talk. Sometimes even in the same room.

I for one am a 'physical' book lover. I still buy my books at a shop! I am so old-fashioned!

Anyway,

Another very well written piece. Engaging and witty, as usual.
All the best
G

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    G, thank you again, for your incisive and warm crit. You are so valuable to me here. Libraries, like any other business has to change to meet the needs of the customer. You can take your cup of coffee through the isles of a Barnes and Noble book shop and sip while you read. Libraries must start doing the same--even have a snack-bar in the library. Thanks again, G.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Good to know that libraries still have users. Frankly, I'm surprised. I'll give them another ten years, tops. Now that yuo can get almost any book for Kindle for a dollar or two, why bother with a musty old building filled with musty old books filled with other people's germs? But it lives... for now. :)

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    I still love libraries. And you can borrow books for your kindle. No worry about returning anything. It vanishes on the due date unless you "renew" it.
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 12-Aug-2015
    What a great idea! I didn't know that. :)
Comment from Dawn Munro
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Well, I think my blood pressure is settling down a little; the beauty of that second part helped. The first part is what had it rising up in righteous fury at the unfairness and complete disinterest of the bubble-gum popping ticket seller. (LOL)

You do see what your writing does to me, don't you, Jay - please try to remember that in future, would you, as you take me on that hilly journey?

Of COURSE it's six-star worthy! (And naturally, I'm already out of them...sigh...)

**********************BRILLIANT!!!********************(so what else is new...? LOL)

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Hey, Dawn. Everyone's out of 6's. Thanks for reading and enjoying. That's the name of the game.
reply by Dawn Munro on 12-Aug-2015
    You know I was kidding about remembering my bp, right? LOL.

    Yes, those few who manage to hold onto to some amaze me...
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Of course I knew. LOL.
Comment from amada
Excellent
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Your story brought me back to the thought of why do I love books. Written books, on paper, heavy in my hands, paper markers all over it! Yes, the fifty dollars gift card was sad, I will stick to cash.

 Comment Written 12-Aug-2015


reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
    Thanks, Ama. Glad you enjoyed this. I love my Kindle, but libraries are special.