Comment from NurseBarb

Exceptional

Last line leaves chills up and down my spine. Scary story told in such few words makes for a talented writer. Perfect image to accompany this story with the dark clouds hovering over a carnival. Kind of glad only 148 words in this story. Would not want to know what this psycho clown did to the children. Good luck in this contest.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, NurseBarb. I sincerely appreciate your positive feedback and most generous rating of six stars. More than that, I'm just really happy to know that you enjoyed the story...:)

Comment from mommerry

Exceptional

This was perfect in my estimation. The words were so easily inserted into the text I had to go back to be sure they were all there. I hated the idea, of course, but I also don't like clowns. Maybe I am smarter than I realize. Great job.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, mommerry. I appreciate your positive feedback and most generous rating of six stars. More than that, I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story...:)

Comment from evilynne

Excellent

As always, your welcome. That is truly eerie, scary fun. It is well written and the background music is an interesting touch.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks very much for checking the story out, Evi. I really do appreciate it. :)

Comment from joann r romei

Excellent

What a creepy post, but perfect for this entry, and the special effects really work the reader. no errors noted and good luck.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, Joann. I appreciate your very positive feedback and most generous rating. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story...:)

Comment from livelylinda

Excellent

Author: CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY. I can't say it enough. From the flat notes in the music to the children's disappearance, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Good thing it is 8 a.m. I have learned never to read your creepy stories just before going to bed! This very short story is six star worthy but I have only virtual sixes to offer today. This certainly is a good contest contender. Linda

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks a bunch, Linda. I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story. Your positive response is very encouraging.
Much obliged. :)

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

Geeze, D, this a great story for such a skinny budget of words. You build the narrative skilfully, setting the scene with clowns and tricks and children. The mood is set with some excellent description in the first paragraph. The final revelation about the non employment of clowns gives the clown pied piper the appearance of a pedophile. A scary ending indeed. Your use of the prompt words was well done. Best of luck with voters.

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks, Mark, I really appreciate the detailed feedback. I nearly highlighted all the required words, but then I thought, -- Nah, not necessary. Much obliged, buddy. ;}

Comment from jpduck

Excellent

Very neat; a skilful piece of writing. But it occurs to me that, in context pieces, where authors' names are not revealed, trade marks ought to be banned as well!

'etched across his face' (I think it would be worth finding an alternative to this cliche).

Adrian

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Thanks for for the R&R, Adrian. Much obliged...

Comment from giraffmang

Exceptional

Hi there,

This was great. All words used in a natural, unforced way. A truly a tiny tale of terror crafted here. Music gives the perfect atmosphere to the piece as well. Fantastic.

Loved this one
G

 Comment Written 18-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks very much, G-Man. I truly appreciate your positive feedback and most generous rating of six stars. But, much more than that, I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story...:)

Comment from acerisestory

Exceptional

The music and "imagery" hooked me into this wonderfully evil story, mystery author.

I love the play on the word "carnival." You used the required words with perfection -- nothing forced. I particularly liked "skeletal tree."

This is a great entry for the contest. Best of luck! Alana

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Apr-2015

Thanks a million, Alana. I sincerely appreciate your very positive feedback and most generous six star rating. Even more than all of that, however, I'm really happy to know that you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the good luck wishes as well... :)

Comment from Winslow

Exceptional

Dear Writer,

Very well done in so few words. You create an atmosphere of evil and danger from the very first word. Well done. One nit for me, I'd like to see this story expanded. My two boys were deathly afraid of clowns, maybe for good reason.

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 17-Apr-2015

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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2015

Hey, Winslow. So sorry for the late response. I sincerely appreciate you not only taking the time to read and review the story for me, but for your very generous six star rating as well.

Thanks again, my friend...~Dean ;)