Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

Dean this 50 Words Writing Contest entry is creative and if it follows the original rhyme Jill will soon come after. Kind of chilling. All the best in the contest! :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thanks, GracieAnn, I really appreciate the review. I pray it is chilling. That's what I intended it to be anyhow.

Comment from Schalk Jacobs

Excellent

I liked you take on the classic nursery rhyme. It was short, decisive and the imagery was brilliant. There is nothing more to say to this excellent piece, except, best of luck, Dean.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Yes I liked your take on the continuation of the story of Jack and Jill. Good little story, much horror in just 50 words. Good luck in the contest.

valda

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

Comment from padumachitta

Exceptional

Hey. Well, I just lost the contest! :-)
Way good, and fun and well well, I'll never approach a well the same way...thanks, I think.

I will not be around a lot over the next 3 and 172 weeks...we are going to the mountains, little hut, no phone, no wifi...we will go to town once a week to check things out and buy groceries...so I will try to keep up as best as I can:-)

padumachitta

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thanks, Padu. Above all else, have fun, and be safe out there! I really appreciate your kind review and comments.

I really don't think you've got anything to worry about as far as I'm concerned in the contest. After all, it's me we're talkin' about here, remember, LOL?

reply by padumachitta on 03-Jul-2014

Hey...I thought is was good...but perhaps not enough...ummmm, ...dare I say it...lightness and ah,...religion to win
BUT it should if I was on the panel....
you rock, but then I am smitten by your words:-)....

Ja, have fun we will...it is the Alps by Strassbourg(about 6 hours or so from us)...
I will write in the mornings and hike in the afternoons(or switch it depending on the weather)...still finishing of the S'crypt' story...had three, don't like any of 'em...
hey ho...
padumachitta

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

I believe there are still eleven days remaining until my contest kicks into gear. You've still got plenty of time.

Comment from forestport12

Exceptional

I think this one may have the x factor. I think it will be in the running. It all starts with a unique and powerful storyline in so few words and man you had me in a white-knuckled moment.

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Hey, thank you Stan. How the heck have you been, my friend? I hope all is well in your neck of the woods.

I sure hope you are right about this being a contender, Stan. I've had a rather bad streak of luck lately in contests. Yet, I keep entering, keep on trying. I'm sticking to the FanStory sponsored contests only, for the most part. The prompts, while fun, are just way too expensive for me to continue. I read and review constantly, and have just 8.00 dollars worth of funny money in my bank. It's really wearing me thin.

Thanks again, Stann, for both your encouraging comments and the six star rating. Both are very appreciated, my friend.

reply by forestport12 on 04-Jul-2014

I know the feeling. A few years ago I smashed on the scene and started winning contest after contest, and then I hit this wall or drought. The harder I tried the more humiliating my loses. And yes, the reviewing for a little money will take its toll. I thought about just taking a leave of absence for awhile, just to get a new perspective

Happy 4th!

Comment from marijmd

Exceptional

How did the contest go for you?
ha ha Love it - the sweet ending of him coming home - so creepy in the context in which you wrote!

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

If you mean the story of the month contest, I came in second, marijmd. But, that's okay, if there was anyone whom I could chose to lose to, it would be Mike Battaglia. He's a great guy, and has exceptional talent. Of course, first place would have been nice too, LOL.

Thanks for reading and reviewing this wacky shortie, my friend. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. I realize when I enter something written in the horror genre, it already has its literary back up against the wall. However, there were no horror entries that I saw or reviewed for this contest, so I thought, what the heck, go for it. After all, I do love a challenge!

Thanks again for your wonderful review and six stars, marijmd. I truly appreciate it.

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

Wow! Makes you think about all them fairy tales. How innocent are they? Line one gives a setting for a horror story--an ancient well, complete with a sound track. Even the moon doesn't want to watch the horror. Creepy, but fun.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thank you, Shari.

I never realized how difficult these fifty word stories were until I attempted to write one. They present an immense challenge for me, as I tend to get a bit wordy at times. I hope in the writing of these, I can hone my skills for my longer posts.

Thanks again for the fantastic review. I appreciate it!

Comment from His Grayness

Excellent

Dean:is remarkably creative and equally entertaining and I am truly disappointed to be out of sixes as this one is even a ten!! It made me laugh out loud and demonstrates that even the "dark side" can be funny! You ARE the Master! Vance

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thanks, Vance. I was really hoping readers would pick up on the dark humor in this. I'm happy to know that it is getting across.

Thanks so much for you outstanding review. Much appreciated!

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Very interesting. Broken crown and all, but I guess Jack just couldn't be without Jill. Death is not the end. I like this continuation on the classic tale. Well done.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thank you, Lance. I'm very glad to know that you did, and I appreciate your generous review.

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

You do flash horror so well, Dean. This is not an easy thing because finding the right words to convey horror is work enough without the constraints of 50 words. I think you have a strong contender here. Good luck! Hugs, Bev

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014

Thank you very much, Bev. Coming from a fellow horror aficionado, I simply have to take you for your word, and hold it in the highest regard, all of which I do. I truly appreciate you taking time out to read & review this for me.

Thanks again, Bev.

reply by Writingfundimension on 03-Jul-2014

You're very welcome, Dean, as always.

:) Bev