And then there's Grace
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Harvest"A collection of Spirtual poems
75 total reviews
Comment from barleygirl
Excellent poem, with good rhyme & rhythm, conveying your desire to spread God's word, using the imagery well & consistently. Every once in awhile, it seems like the word choice is a little clunky, & selected for the construction, more than for the feeling & message of the poem. But all in all, a great read.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Excellent poem, with good rhyme & rhythm, conveying your desire to spread God's word, using the imagery well & consistently. Every once in awhile, it seems like the word choice is a little clunky, & selected for the construction, more than for the feeling & message of the poem. But all in all, a great read.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Thanks for the comments. I will look at the construction more closely, when I write it seems to just roll out, but, I'm sure it can be improved upon. :-) have a great day, Carolyn
Comment from adewpearl
Good use of rhyming couplets in your quatrains
including the proximate rhyme of servants/abundance
Good use of enjambment to keep your lines flowing
strong verb choices like ripen/increase/multiply... - this adds life to your scene
Heaven's house - add apostrophe for possessive
vivid detail and a thoughtful message of faith in good poetic form :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Good use of rhyming couplets in your quatrains
including the proximate rhyme of servants/abundance
Good use of enjambment to keep your lines flowing
strong verb choices like ripen/increase/multiply... - this adds life to your scene
Heaven's house - add apostrophe for possessive
vivid detail and a thoughtful message of faith in good poetic form :-) Brooke
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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As usual, I appreciate your comments so much. I will 'fix' the house. :-) Carolyn
Comment from Solitude Poet
Hey there!
Hope you'll offer me a sack of the harvest! LOL!
Nice contest entry!
It shows the labor and fruit yielded from the Harvest!
All the best!
Stay tuned for the results!!!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Hey there!
Hope you'll offer me a sack of the harvest! LOL!
Nice contest entry!
It shows the labor and fruit yielded from the Harvest!
All the best!
Stay tuned for the results!!!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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What do they say, every body wins if you just run the race? Thanks for the neat review. Carolyn
Comment from priya.govindaswami
A truly superb poem which in true spirit is a real thanksgiving prayer to God and his abundant generosity.The poem is well structured and presented beautifully.The poem has resemblances with olden forms of poetical work in prose and style.This style though appealing to many might not convey the full depth in meaning to few modern poetry enthusiasts.
Indeed "Harvest" is a well written poem which in essence presents the greatness of the Lord of harvests-God.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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A truly superb poem which in true spirit is a real thanksgiving prayer to God and his abundant generosity.The poem is well structured and presented beautifully.The poem has resemblances with olden forms of poetical work in prose and style.This style though appealing to many might not convey the full depth in meaning to few modern poetry enthusiasts.
Indeed "Harvest" is a well written poem which in essence presents the greatness of the Lord of harvests-God.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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I enjoyed your review of this poem. Thank you for commenting.
:-) Carolyn
Comment from Norbanus
The metaphor of harvest, as it's used
does well to gather those who share your view
Although clich©, and often is abused,
it can provide cohesion. That is true.
More problematic than the metaphor
is lack of meter, which can turn away
those souls who are uncertain at the door
and came to feel the verses, not to pray.
Iambic meter has for ages past
Provided those who read it with recall
To make the verses meaning really last
and spread its message out to one and all
While poetry like this can win the flock
A little meter here would really rock.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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The metaphor of harvest, as it's used
does well to gather those who share your view
Although clich©, and often is abused,
it can provide cohesion. That is true.
More problematic than the metaphor
is lack of meter, which can turn away
those souls who are uncertain at the door
and came to feel the verses, not to pray.
Iambic meter has for ages past
Provided those who read it with recall
To make the verses meaning really last
and spread its message out to one and all
While poetry like this can win the flock
A little meter here would really rock.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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What an excellent review from you, and it is written, I am sure in perfect style and form. I have much to learn. My poetry has need of 'polish', I will continue to work on that. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. :-) Carolyn
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Reviews of poetry are seldom helpful, so several years ago I made a request of those who understand poetry to let us know how to improve.
Comment from Raoul D'Harmental
This is an excelent metaphor which has been well-worked into this poem which I enjoyed readin althoughj I am in no way religious - you might say I need harvesting! :) There needs to be a question mark at the end of the second stanza too. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest! R.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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This is an excelent metaphor which has been well-worked into this poem which I enjoyed readin althoughj I am in no way religious - you might say I need harvesting! :) There needs to be a question mark at the end of the second stanza too. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest! R.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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I appreciate your wonderful thoughts and that you shared them with me. Thanks for the well wishes. Carolyn
Comment from robina1978
I never saw any of your work before but this is a joy to read and review. Great general layout. Harvest brings all together and with the Lord. We always have to stay with our Lord. Quatrains with good aabb rhyme and flow.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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I never saw any of your work before but this is a joy to read and review. Great general layout. Harvest brings all together and with the Lord. We always have to stay with our Lord. Quatrains with good aabb rhyme and flow.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Hi there, I hope you stop in again. I appreciate your review. Have a great day. Carolyn
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Harvest' is an extremely well-written and spiritually- uplifting piece. With God's bounteous love, the harvest is there for all of the Lord's creatures. It was a privilege to read and review a work of this standard.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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'Harvest' is an extremely well-written and spiritually- uplifting piece. With God's bounteous love, the harvest is there for all of the Lord's creatures. It was a privilege to read and review a work of this standard.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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And it is a privilege to receive such insightful comments. :-) Carolyn
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Carolyn, you're more than welcome.
With my best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Stephen Wolff
I think I'd be right in saying that the motivation behind this kind of poetry is to spread the word of God. and here the central metaphor is the harvest. The problem is that whilst it may play well to fellow believers I would be surprised if it would be particularly effective for bringing "the lost" into the fold.
This is why.
Your central metaphor here is the harvest which has been used so often it has now become a cliche. This leads you to subsidiary metaphors which have also been overused: "bloom and multiply", "Heaven's house","Pearly Gates", mortal souls etc. Whilst some of your language is modern you occasionally hark back to "poetic" archaisms ( "there's 'naught of time nor space") which bring to mind all those 19th century hymns which will be familiar to anyone who has spent a childhood of church on Sundays. The structure is also a popular one for hymns and this could easily work as that given a good tune.
Repetition of cliches and customary structures is quite effective in bolstering the beliefs of those who are already "found" but, I suspect, would not be in any way convincing to the "lost" who were never convinced by them in the first place. Cliches tend to circumvent deep thinking and so to use them to proselitise is unlikely to be effective as they do not provoke novel perspectives.
The power of good religious writings to convince is based on moving the reader or listener towards new thought patterns and this can only be achieved by new ideas or at least ideas new to the recipients. The sermons of John Donne, the poetry of Gerard Manly-Hopkins or the writings of St Augustine get much of their power from their electrically new ideas and to effectively convert anyone that's the kind of thing that needs to be striven for. Of course its extremely difficult which is why most religious poetry fails to be any way convincing to the "unbeliever" or the "waverer".
I'm sure believers will find your poem quite congenial but I suspect it will have little effect on anyone else.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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I think I'd be right in saying that the motivation behind this kind of poetry is to spread the word of God. and here the central metaphor is the harvest. The problem is that whilst it may play well to fellow believers I would be surprised if it would be particularly effective for bringing "the lost" into the fold.
This is why.
Your central metaphor here is the harvest which has been used so often it has now become a cliche. This leads you to subsidiary metaphors which have also been overused: "bloom and multiply", "Heaven's house","Pearly Gates", mortal souls etc. Whilst some of your language is modern you occasionally hark back to "poetic" archaisms ( "there's 'naught of time nor space") which bring to mind all those 19th century hymns which will be familiar to anyone who has spent a childhood of church on Sundays. The structure is also a popular one for hymns and this could easily work as that given a good tune.
Repetition of cliches and customary structures is quite effective in bolstering the beliefs of those who are already "found" but, I suspect, would not be in any way convincing to the "lost" who were never convinced by them in the first place. Cliches tend to circumvent deep thinking and so to use them to proselitise is unlikely to be effective as they do not provoke novel perspectives.
The power of good religious writings to convince is based on moving the reader or listener towards new thought patterns and this can only be achieved by new ideas or at least ideas new to the recipients. The sermons of John Donne, the poetry of Gerard Manly-Hopkins or the writings of St Augustine get much of their power from their electrically new ideas and to effectively convert anyone that's the kind of thing that needs to be striven for. Of course its extremely difficult which is why most religious poetry fails to be any way convincing to the "unbeliever" or the "waverer".
I'm sure believers will find your poem quite congenial but I suspect it will have little effect on anyone else.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Thank you Stephen, for taking the time to read and to give your opinion regarding the poem. Best to you always, Carolyn
Comment from Jackarrie
a very well written AABB poem To begin with the image it is superb for a harvest moment. It is clear you get your inspiration from the man above. WEll DONE
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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a very well written AABB poem To begin with the image it is superb for a harvest moment. It is clear you get your inspiration from the man above. WEll DONE
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for your comments. :-) Carolyn