All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Asleep in the Sun"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
49 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose - which is actually very freeing. There are many times I would love to be single again, no kids, just soaking up the rays, listening to the wind, roaming. Flowering and flourishing downward// to seed my heart- excellent line and stanza break. Numbness - the shock of freedom at a crossroads - move to fear, solitude or excitement. Once the numbness wears off, only time will tell.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose - which is actually very freeing. There are many times I would love to be single again, no kids, just soaking up the rays, listening to the wind, roaming. Flowering and flourishing downward// to seed my heart- excellent line and stanza break. Numbness - the shock of freedom at a crossroads - move to fear, solitude or excitement. Once the numbness wears off, only time will tell.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Indeed rb - lots of pieces in the air in these years I think, hmm?
:)Sharyn
Comment from wordsareus
I'm not sure if this poem is about you but it is well written and held my attention. I especially liked the last part
'Fear of being alone? Unknown? Or simply ... excitement,
trembling at the thought that I might finally be free?'
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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I'm not sure if this poem is about you but it is well written and held my attention. I especially liked the last part
'Fear of being alone? Unknown? Or simply ... excitement,
trembling at the thought that I might finally be free?'
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Part of everything I write is pretty autobiographical, my dear. Sometimes it's simply the 'what if' contemplations of being alone, and sometimes it's REALLY being alone, and sometimes it's all purely navel contemplation, hmm?
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from Charlene0513
To visionary1234,
A look into a person's life and the upcoming phases in their life that they may face.
Good use of metaphors and with alliteration being used.
Charlene
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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To visionary1234,
A look into a person's life and the upcoming phases in their life that they may face.
Good use of metaphors and with alliteration being used.
Charlene
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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and again my dear! ;)S
Comment from 3boysrule
Great job on this one! I think you did a wonderful job. It left me wondering about "who?" and "what?". I like poems like this!
Dee
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Great job on this one! I think you did a wonderful job. It left me wondering about "who?" and "what?". I like poems like this!
Dee
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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I do too, Dee - thank you so much my dear! :)S
Comment from donaldww
The speaker loiter in a pool of sunlight, looking up at the clouds, rather than scribbling. I take this reflection to be the result of melancholy rather than fatigue.
The speaker's love interest will not return, and she does not know whether to feel numb or happy at being free.
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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The speaker loiter in a pool of sunlight, looking up at the clouds, rather than scribbling. I take this reflection to be the result of melancholy rather than fatigue.
The speaker's love interest will not return, and she does not know whether to feel numb or happy at being free.
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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You've got it DW! :)S
Comment from Spitfire
Sounds as if you son may be leaving the nest. LOL
Great use of enjambment between stanzas.
You've made it clear that you probably won't return.
Heart still beats. Lungs still move. Expand. Contract.
Yes! You're still alive and numb with the thought of blessed freedom. Awesome, Sharyn. Can't give you a six yet.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Sounds as if you son may be leaving the nest. LOL
Great use of enjambment between stanzas.
You've made it clear that you probably won't return.
Heart still beats. Lungs still move. Expand. Contract.
Yes! You're still alive and numb with the thought of blessed freedom. Awesome, Sharyn. Can't give you a six yet.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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experimenting with 'free verse' with a 'form' at the moment spits - very interesting - have you head any of Billy Collins? :)
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I have and I love his work.
Shari
Comment from Deniz22
"You've made it clear that you probably won't return."
OK, I'm back. Now will you please move so I can finish mowing the lawn? Geez... some of us have got to work. We can't be lolling around in the sun all day! LOL (mood shifter,eh?)
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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"You've made it clear that you probably won't return."
OK, I'm back. Now will you please move so I can finish mowing the lawn? Geez... some of us have got to work. We can't be lolling around in the sun all day! LOL (mood shifter,eh?)
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Such a GUY you are Deniz dear!!! I've missed your Archie Bunker witticisms honey!
:)S
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Thanks! But wait a minute, Archie Bunker was rude, crude and uncultured...the similarities are?
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sexist, male chauvinist and terribly funny honey
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Oh I know all that! I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, because believe it or not some women don't appreciate the good qualities you have so correctly mentioned! BTW, what DID your poem mean? :)
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see ... dummy was part of the Archie B. definition, but I was just too polite to say it D. :(
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Stifle yourself! :)
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NEVER!!! you know me better than that, surely????
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Just wishful thinking? LOL
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Dream on, my dear:)
Comment from Gregory K Shipman
Sharyn,
Forehead slap! I shoulda had a 'six'!
Hello, my dear, dear friend. Long time, no write! But you certainly have!
A beautiful poem filled with beautiful words, phrases, thoughts. Reading this is like hearing your inner thoughts which come to me from your eyes, your expressions, your body language rather than the normal speech. I could point out poetic phrases and words but then that's what this entire poem is. The last stanza is not only monumental but beauty unleashed saying so much as the final five words vibrate through the soul... I might finally be free...
I've missed you
greg
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Sharyn,
Forehead slap! I shoulda had a 'six'!
Hello, my dear, dear friend. Long time, no write! But you certainly have!
A beautiful poem filled with beautiful words, phrases, thoughts. Reading this is like hearing your inner thoughts which come to me from your eyes, your expressions, your body language rather than the normal speech. I could point out poetic phrases and words but then that's what this entire poem is. The last stanza is not only monumental but beauty unleashed saying so much as the final five words vibrate through the soul... I might finally be free...
I've missed you
greg
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Well I've missed you too dear! I'm sorry, I've been a bit crazy myself lately! Did a couple of stories and they always take me forever to do - it's like giving birth!! I don't know how you managed to pop them out with such seeming effortlessness!
Bless you and big hugs,
Sharyn
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Dearest Sharyn,
I'm always loving your posts, poems, stories... always will!
I've not posted in almost two weeks so I need to get busy...
your big fan
greg
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oh good - thought I'd missed some! I haven't had much time lately either Greg! :)
Comment from fastdigits
A beautiful painting you have sketched
with your words as they dance down the
screen like warm fingers of sunlight lighting
up grass, placing spectacular hues of color
in this moment of time where there is only
you with your thoughts.
Well done
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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A beautiful painting you have sketched
with your words as they dance down the
screen like warm fingers of sunlight lighting
up grass, placing spectacular hues of color
in this moment of time where there is only
you with your thoughts.
Well done
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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thx so much fd! :)Sharyn
Comment from Sasha
This is absolutely marvelous. I love the last two lines:
Fear of being alone? Unknown? Or simply ... excitement,
trembling at the thought that I might finally be free?
Personally, I vote for the finally being free. I love my solitary life. No one to tell me when to fix dinner, what to watch on television, or fall asleep when I am talking.
Great work with this one. I enjoyed it immensely.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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This is absolutely marvelous. I love the last two lines:
Fear of being alone? Unknown? Or simply ... excitement,
trembling at the thought that I might finally be free?
Personally, I vote for the finally being free. I love my solitary life. No one to tell me when to fix dinner, what to watch on television, or fall asleep when I am talking.
Great work with this one. I enjoyed it immensely.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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on the same page with you my dear! :)))S