All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Pull Up a Blue Chair"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
87 total reviews
Comment from Scarbrems
Well, it's a fabulous style to write this sort of thing in. America seems to be somewhat discontented at the moment. I can't comment as I know zilch about the politics specific to your nation, but I think this applies the world over at one point or another. Great write
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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Well, it's a fabulous style to write this sort of thing in. America seems to be somewhat discontented at the moment. I can't comment as I know zilch about the politics specific to your nation, but I think this applies the world over at one point or another. Great write
Comment Written 03-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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thx emsey!
Comment from Titanx9
What a delightful read, though full of the angst and craziness that is going on around us. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in the madness, we'd go crazy. There is not much rational thinking today. I like your solution, and I think I'll purchase one of those blue chairs and sit back and enjoy the wonders of nature and let it be. Great job with this piece, I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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What a delightful read, though full of the angst and craziness that is going on around us. If we allow ourselves to get caught up in the madness, we'd go crazy. There is not much rational thinking today. I like your solution, and I think I'll purchase one of those blue chairs and sit back and enjoy the wonders of nature and let it be. Great job with this piece, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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thx Titan - glad you enjoyed it! :) Sharyn
Comment from S.Yocom
I like the way your poem changes from rage and fury in the beginning to a soft and sweet gentleness at the end. Nice rhymes in the final section, as well. This is a fine piece of "Slam Poetry."
Sally
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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I like the way your poem changes from rage and fury in the beginning to a soft and sweet gentleness at the end. Nice rhymes in the final section, as well. This is a fine piece of "Slam Poetry."
Sally
Comment Written 03-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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Thx so much Sally!
Comment from givan
This is amazing. I understand exactly what you are saying and I feel it. Sometimes it is hard to realize that we all have a piece in the way our world is, we all have a shared responsibility for our actions and especially our inactions. Blame is such an easy fallback for doing nothing, for making ourselves feel justified. Though sometimes the problems seem so overwhelming when taken altogether that it is difficult to see what action and even how that action will make a difference. It is better, like you said, to try a small change, to take a small action toward what we know is right, what we feel in ourselves that we should do. Thank you.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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This is amazing. I understand exactly what you are saying and I feel it. Sometimes it is hard to realize that we all have a piece in the way our world is, we all have a shared responsibility for our actions and especially our inactions. Blame is such an easy fallback for doing nothing, for making ourselves feel justified. Though sometimes the problems seem so overwhelming when taken altogether that it is difficult to see what action and even how that action will make a difference. It is better, like you said, to try a small change, to take a small action toward what we know is right, what we feel in ourselves that we should do. Thank you.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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I can see you totally got the point of my piece - thank you so much! And a huge and appreciated "thank you" my dear for your special magic '6'! :) Sharyn
Comment from Maustin
"Big Corporations in bed with dead weight
hated governments
of gravity and greed
satisfying a need
in us to make sure
it's
not
our
fault..."
These lines impacted me the most. Very compelling. Moving presetation. Creative title. Pulled me in. Thought provoking all the way...
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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"Big Corporations in bed with dead weight
hated governments
of gravity and greed
satisfying a need
in us to make sure
it's
not
our
fault..."
These lines impacted me the most. Very compelling. Moving presetation. Creative title. Pulled me in. Thought provoking all the way...
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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I'm so glad you enjoyed it! thank you! :) Sharyn
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So welcome Sharyn... *;)~
Comment from Spitfire
Thia would be awesome to read aloud. All range of emotions--despair, anger, frustration, hopelessness and then the change to hope and happiness. Great use of alliteration. Favorite lines include:
little brains in overwhelm
little actions in underwhelm
swimming sleaze crawls, leaking
cracking through my dyke
prising it apart, barb by barb
spreading heirloom subtle seeds
of right and responsibility,
rooting to real power
Hurray. I give you a six for this dramatic and in the end, optimistic piece.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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Thia would be awesome to read aloud. All range of emotions--despair, anger, frustration, hopelessness and then the change to hope and happiness. Great use of alliteration. Favorite lines include:
little brains in overwhelm
little actions in underwhelm
swimming sleaze crawls, leaking
cracking through my dyke
prising it apart, barb by barb
spreading heirloom subtle seeds
of right and responsibility,
rooting to real power
Hurray. I give you a six for this dramatic and in the end, optimistic piece.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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hey spits! thank you! yes! this is a fabulous performance piece, if I may say so myself! I'm dying to do it! A special thank you for one of your magic '6's too!! :) Sharyn
Comment from Liilia
Wow. What an amazing poem this is. I would love to hear it at a poetry slam. It is not only powerful, but the message is awesome. Love the lines:
barbed wire, fence my yard
guns for hire, windows barred
and
wall
this
world
out!
The following lines in just a few words, cover the whole world of addiction and its ugliness:
shooting up
into incisor'd rage and frenzy
instant quick-fix climactic satisfaction
The following lines are very heavy, indeed:
splattering gratification is
better
than
the
Void
Then the poem turns toward the solution, pulling up a Blue Chair:
ask someone in
just one, to nurture
I love how you resolve this horrible schism of walled in people on one side and the ghastly life on the streets on the other - to encourage one out there and help them to plant a seed, a garden and turn it around.
Thank you for sharing this very, very thoughtful poem.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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Wow. What an amazing poem this is. I would love to hear it at a poetry slam. It is not only powerful, but the message is awesome. Love the lines:
barbed wire, fence my yard
guns for hire, windows barred
and
wall
this
world
out!
The following lines in just a few words, cover the whole world of addiction and its ugliness:
shooting up
into incisor'd rage and frenzy
instant quick-fix climactic satisfaction
The following lines are very heavy, indeed:
splattering gratification is
better
than
the
Void
Then the poem turns toward the solution, pulling up a Blue Chair:
ask someone in
just one, to nurture
I love how you resolve this horrible schism of walled in people on one side and the ghastly life on the streets on the other - to encourage one out there and help them to plant a seed, a garden and turn it around.
Thank you for sharing this very, very thoughtful poem.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2012
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Liilia, I'm totally honored by your reading and appreciation of my piece. Thank you so much, and another huge thank you for a magic '6' - it means a great deal to me when someone really understands my writing my dear! blessings, Sharyn
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You are very welcome, Sharyn. You more than deserve all the kudos. Liilia
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good poem and I agree people tend to take the easy way out they want what their neighbor wants so instead of working for it they hold a gun to their neighbors face and take it from them well written poem thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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This is a good poem and I agree people tend to take the easy way out they want what their neighbor wants so instead of working for it they hold a gun to their neighbors face and take it from them well written poem thank you for sharing
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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thx dmt!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
inspiring perfumed blooms of flame
instead of listless wiry barbs
of mortal blame << YESSSS!
You tell 'em, Sharyn! Let's create a garden instead of complaining that we have no flowers. Plant what we can, where we can. Positive thinking, not negative! Very good job of getting the message across.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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inspiring perfumed blooms of flame
instead of listless wiry barbs
of mortal blame << YESSSS!
You tell 'em, Sharyn! Let's create a garden instead of complaining that we have no flowers. Plant what we can, where we can. Positive thinking, not negative! Very good job of getting the message across.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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thx Phyllis!
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Sharyn,
You have written a fabulous poem. A little long for my tastes but once I began to read I didn't stop till the very end.
I've got a solution!
barbed wire, fence my yard
guns for hire, windows barred
and I have a perverse desire
to disinfect the perimeter
These lines say it all. Well done....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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Hi Sharyn,
You have written a fabulous poem. A little long for my tastes but once I began to read I didn't stop till the very end.
I've got a solution!
barbed wire, fence my yard
guns for hire, windows barred
and I have a perverse desire
to disinfect the perimeter
These lines say it all. Well done....blessings, chey
Comment Written 02-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2012
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thx chey - tried to shorten it but it just wouldn't do it dammit! :)
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no worries...I loved it!