To a son of God
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "I am Providence ...!"Metre ... Freeverse & Quatrain
92 total reviews
Comment from whispersofthesoul
Hiya,
There is a lot going on in this piece, there are repitions and rhymes while there is no specific form. Often writing like this lis a brave move and hard to get right but I think you've done it.
Remember me
Remember me
You mention remember me 5 times, and I am providence 4 times, what is happening here you are not letting the read forget who the piece is about.
This was cleverly constructed and worked really well, and a great read xx
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Hiya,
There is a lot going on in this piece, there are repitions and rhymes while there is no specific form. Often writing like this lis a brave move and hard to get right but I think you've done it.
Remember me
Remember me
You mention remember me 5 times, and I am providence 4 times, what is happening here you are not letting the read forget who the piece is about.
This was cleverly constructed and worked really well, and a great read xx
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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much love my friend...I always remember the song...I think it was entitled, "Never pick a fight with a Poet," do not remember who sang it but it was a quality song,
much obliged,
Bic.
Comment from Carolyn 12
I am confused. Is not Providence, God? The stanza of-I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love. Is throwing me.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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I am confused. Is not Providence, God? The stanza of-I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love. Is throwing me.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Please read christianpowers for my understanding of providence and donaldww for the explanation as to what the poem is about...be much interested in hearing what you think of the line afterwards...
Much obliged
Bic.
Comment from God's Writer
An extremely thought provoking my brother. Thank you for allowing me to read a professionally, well thought out exquisite piece of writing. "Tis rare these days 'round these parts. This will give my something to sink my teeth into And I'll sifer it till the cows come home. Thank you for this exceptional writing.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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An extremely thought provoking my brother. Thank you for allowing me to read a professionally, well thought out exquisite piece of writing. "Tis rare these days 'round these parts. This will give my something to sink my teeth into And I'll sifer it till the cows come home. Thank you for this exceptional writing.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Excellent HP, glad you enjoyed...
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I did, very much.
Shalom,
Erick
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No worries,
Bic.
Comment from Maustin
"I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love."
This is a definite emotional work here. The words above really stuck with me for awhile. Wow...
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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"I will kill your sons and daughters,
first with my words:
then with my love."
This is a definite emotional work here. The words above really stuck with me for awhile. Wow...
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thanks Maustin...
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Welcome...
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Try reading some of the reviews, they will help...
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:)
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Anytime...
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...
Comment from Curtis Hatch
The poem poses the age-old questions of did things just happen or are they as religion teaches a product of God. One's faith will dictate the side of the argument one chooses. The poem was written well, and the graphics enhance it nicely. Curtis
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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The poem poses the age-old questions of did things just happen or are they as religion teaches a product of God. One's faith will dictate the side of the argument one chooses. The poem was written well, and the graphics enhance it nicely. Curtis
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Thanks curtis...
Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity
Well, I guess this poem's not talking about Providence, Rhode Island, so I'll have to give it some thought. Thanks for sharing it here, and thanks for the great 8 points and 1.14 member dollars.
cheers
js
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Well, I guess this poem's not talking about Providence, Rhode Island, so I'll have to give it some thought. Thanks for sharing it here, and thanks for the great 8 points and 1.14 member dollars.
cheers
js
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Try reading reviews of cvcpac, christianspirit and donaldww's they might give some very good pointers...
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Oh, I'll get right on that.
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no worries...
Comment from steevie
Your poem is thought provoking.
The only issue I have with your write is that you haven't distinguished between whom the white horse kills and who lives. Not all 'sons and daughters' will perish when this figurative horse makes its ride. There are people deserving of life and those deserving of death. Your poem makes a blanket statement, which in my humble opinion, doesn't stand.
As for the style of poem, I enjoyed the brevity and conciseness.
steve
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Your poem is thought provoking.
The only issue I have with your write is that you haven't distinguished between whom the white horse kills and who lives. Not all 'sons and daughters' will perish when this figurative horse makes its ride. There are people deserving of life and those deserving of death. Your poem makes a blanket statement, which in my humble opinion, doesn't stand.
As for the style of poem, I enjoyed the brevity and conciseness.
steve
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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The white horse stands for Gods judgement in the biblical sense...try reading christianspirit, cvcpovac aand donaldww'w review get back to me and tell me if it still stands...
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i see that you were replacing the white hiorse with reference to hitler
steve
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Well thats who's telling the story in this one, my friend...
Comment from Pugs
I thought long and hard about this six...I like to give them when I am moved and inspired. At first I resisted being moved, I could somehow feel it, it is the tension that is tearing me apart... At any rate I had a sense of what providence meant, but I admit I had to look it up...And I was moved. I realize the source of that tension, and I thank you for reminding me of how providence is truly a natural reflection of what is whithin, Very Nice, I appreciate the simplicity with which it is presented, it has a great energy and flow.
Pugs
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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I thought long and hard about this six...I like to give them when I am moved and inspired. At first I resisted being moved, I could somehow feel it, it is the tension that is tearing me apart... At any rate I had a sense of what providence meant, but I admit I had to look it up...And I was moved. I realize the source of that tension, and I thank you for reminding me of how providence is truly a natural reflection of what is whithin, Very Nice, I appreciate the simplicity with which it is presented, it has a great energy and flow.
Pugs
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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thanks pugs maybe you would like to know who the providence in this poem is relating to...read review, donanaldww's...
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hey there Pal
This is an rather engaging bit of poetic thought. I read quite a bit into it; however I got more of a sinister plot than one of a spiritual nature. It is good to make the reader ponder
Bear
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Hey there Pal
This is an rather engaging bit of poetic thought. I read quite a bit into it; however I got more of a sinister plot than one of a spiritual nature. It is good to make the reader ponder
Bear
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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It certainly is sinister bear glad you could enjoy...
Comment from shy1250
Powerful, intriguing, artistic presentation, totally deserving of ribbons proffered. Suggestions? Corrections? I think not.. later and God bless, shy
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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Powerful, intriguing, artistic presentation, totally deserving of ribbons proffered. Suggestions? Corrections? I think not.. later and God bless, shy
Comment Written 13-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2012
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much obliged, shy,take care...