Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Murder in the Cowshed"A collection of my poems
39 total reviews
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Good thought and humor in this, but also with some serious life thoughts too. This lines indicative of this; ' Sad to say that young Zach was no swimmer
And his gumboots they weighted him down.
Four hundred sad eyes all saw his demise
As the herd watched poor Zachary drown.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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Good thought and humor in this, but also with some serious life thoughts too. This lines indicative of this; ' Sad to say that young Zach was no swimmer
And his gumboots they weighted him down.
Four hundred sad eyes all saw his demise
As the herd watched poor Zachary drown.
ola thomas
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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Thanks, Ola.
Comment from barkingdog
I woke up this morning and to my delight this popped up.
It's wonderfully entertaining in its story of bovine love and Jessie's crime of passion.
Your rhyme and tempo are perfect. I can see the setting and your characters, even the new warm hands at the end. LOL
And OMG what a picture! She looks like the story teller to me!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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I woke up this morning and to my delight this popped up.
It's wonderfully entertaining in its story of bovine love and Jessie's crime of passion.
Your rhyme and tempo are perfect. I can see the setting and your characters, even the new warm hands at the end. LOL
And OMG what a picture! She looks like the story teller to me!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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Thanks, bd, for the lovely review.
Comment from mshirachot
What a moo-ving bit of hilarity! How hystercially funny. Great job on this poem. Best wishes for the contest entry.
The only SPAG I noticed was in the last line where you used this phrase as an expletive, "And my God". It might need to have a comma between the "and" & "my". The expletive usage might be more tastefully expressed with a lower case "g".
Thanks for sharing this piece of wonderful humor for this morning.
Blessings to you!
Marsha
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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What a moo-ving bit of hilarity! How hystercially funny. Great job on this poem. Best wishes for the contest entry.
The only SPAG I noticed was in the last line where you used this phrase as an expletive, "And my God". It might need to have a comma between the "and" & "my". The expletive usage might be more tastefully expressed with a lower case "g".
Thanks for sharing this piece of wonderful humor for this morning.
Blessings to you!
Marsha
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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Thanks, Marsha - glad this brought a smile.
Comment from robina1978
A very long, but also very funny one. You wrote it so well all quatrains with rhyme. So sad the cows were when the nice farmer died and they did not go so much for the new one. Best wishes for the prompt.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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A very long, but also very funny one. You wrote it so well all quatrains with rhyme. So sad the cows were when the nice farmer died and they did not go so much for the new one. Best wishes for the prompt.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2012
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Thank you.
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welcome, Ine
Comment from Opal H.
This is a hilarious poem. Funny, how death sneaks on you! (Perfect line for a man murdered by a cow!) Of course, it would have made sense for her to kill the rival cow, but that's all right. The man's fine. What a laugh of a poem!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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This is a hilarious poem. Funny, how death sneaks on you! (Perfect line for a man murdered by a cow!) Of course, it would have made sense for her to kill the rival cow, but that's all right. The man's fine. What a laugh of a poem!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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Thank you - glad you got a laugh.
Comment from playinaround
and a very happy ending indeed! This was a pleasure to read. I enjoyed every verse. Very clever and creative. I loved going on this journey on the farm.. thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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and a very happy ending indeed! This was a pleasure to read. I enjoyed every verse. Very clever and creative. I loved going on this journey on the farm.. thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed.
Comment from MAMONIA
You have got to be joking? Who, in their right
mind coulda "thunk" up a poem lke this? The tears
are still rolling down my cheeks.
What a clever imagination you possess to have a
poem about cows who murder their farmer in "dung"
no less.
I got the picture...with all my senses.
Great work. It's gotta be the best entry.
Good luck in the contest.
Marie
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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You have got to be joking? Who, in their right
mind coulda "thunk" up a poem lke this? The tears
are still rolling down my cheeks.
What a clever imagination you possess to have a
poem about cows who murder their farmer in "dung"
no less.
I got the picture...with all my senses.
Great work. It's gotta be the best entry.
Good luck in the contest.
Marie
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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Perhaps you're right - nobody 'in their right mind' coulda thunk this up, like most of my stuff.
So glad you got a good laugh out of this.
Comment from KinaSalad
Hey there, I loved your humorous poem here, so funny. I used to milk cows as well and have different nams for them all. Thanks so much for sharing
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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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Hey there, I loved your humorous poem here, so funny. I used to milk cows as well and have different nams for them all. Thanks so much for sharing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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Thank you, ks. Are you a kiwi?
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yes, I'm Maori
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this tale of jealousy and rumination, which led to a demise who made all of them cry til the new farmer came, whatever his name. i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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this is very well written, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this tale of jealousy and rumination, which led to a demise who made all of them cry til the new farmer came, whatever his name. i enjoyed reading it and wish you the best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 07-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2012
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Thank you so much for the review and the six stars - glad you enjoyed.