All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Red Pearls"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
94 total reviews
Comment from vivicadad
Lovely poem. Having had first hand experience i can understand what it feels like. You do a good job of capture some of this drastic moments of despair and surprise. But as mentioned in the end, this is the time they need the most love. Brilliant.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Lovely poem. Having had first hand experience i can understand what it feels like. You do a good job of capture some of this drastic moments of despair and surprise. But as mentioned in the end, this is the time they need the most love. Brilliant.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Thx so much my dear ... I just updated the author notes with some great news - my mother was misdiagnosed! She had a terrible nose bleed/ haemorrhage so consequently lost a huge amount of blood - and as a result plunged into some kind of "shock" reaction where she was violently hallucinating. But after being sedated for 48 hours she woke up - lucid! This experience certainly gave me a terrible understanding of what other people go through ... and the fear is always there of course as those genes are very much in evidence throughout our family. Aging is not easy - and as for "gracious"? Forget it! What a challenge! thank you so much for reading, reviewing, and also for your good wishes. And yes, this is the time for most love to be realized and given.
Unexpected "cheers",
Sharyn
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You are welcome and it must have been to have the news the other way round. Thanks again.
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thx so much - she's a toughie all right!
Comment from FREE-ONE
Dementia is a horrid disease and robs the person of their memories and their family of the person..I found the writing extremely descriptive and at time terrorizing because of the ravages of the disease..it is a hard row to hoe when you cannot break up the hard ground and your words brought this out in great detail...I enjoyed the vividness and your sad but reality checked words...a great free verse shared....FREE-ONE
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Dementia is a horrid disease and robs the person of their memories and their family of the person..I found the writing extremely descriptive and at time terrorizing because of the ravages of the disease..it is a hard row to hoe when you cannot break up the hard ground and your words brought this out in great detail...I enjoyed the vividness and your sad but reality checked words...a great free verse shared....FREE-ONE
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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thx so much for reviewing FREE! and for understanding my piece! Best wishes, Sharyn
Comment from Bina1
I read the reviews and saw your Mom is fine, I am so glad. This happened to my little Aunt, but her outcome was a gradual decline. I wonder if the nose bleed is common. I could not get it to stop, had to call paramedics, and I'm a nurse! But she would not cooperate. A scary poem, most stark and omnimous.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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I read the reviews and saw your Mom is fine, I am so glad. This happened to my little Aunt, but her outcome was a gradual decline. I wonder if the nose bleed is common. I could not get it to stop, had to call paramedics, and I'm a nurse! But she would not cooperate. A scary poem, most stark and omnimous.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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thx Bina and yes, thank goodness, she is now fine ... my mother has always been anaemic and even used to have nose bleeds as a kid - she hadn't had one for YEARS ... and suddenly, this. It was truly terrifying. Apparently this can also be what happens before people die - I had no idea ... but her time is not yet, so thank goodness for that. Most people don't have such happy endings, and it certainly gave me a terrible insight as to what people go through.
Thank you so much for your read & review!
Best wishes, Sharyn
Comment from phill doran
Hello there
Phew. A hectic read - I had a couple of goes to finish it - not a criticism, I just can't take the pain and imagery (which is a sort-of compliment, by the way).
My only suggestion - other than to put in an interlude with butterflies and tulips for us wimps, who may need a breathing space - is to maybe reconsider the ellipsis? A pause (if that is what you are going for) is better expressed with a hyphen or a colon I think - but that is just a small point.
I am impressed with this write - I wish you well with your writing in general.
Cheers
phill
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Hello there
Phew. A hectic read - I had a couple of goes to finish it - not a criticism, I just can't take the pain and imagery (which is a sort-of compliment, by the way).
My only suggestion - other than to put in an interlude with butterflies and tulips for us wimps, who may need a breathing space - is to maybe reconsider the ellipsis? A pause (if that is what you are going for) is better expressed with a hyphen or a colon I think - but that is just a small point.
I am impressed with this write - I wish you well with your writing in general.
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Good morning Phill - ok ok ... next time butterflies & tulips ... and maybe fewer ellipsis ... yes, I've noticed I like to use them a LOT - and when the pause is more definite, a dash is good ... but ... hmmm ... a colon tome indicates a CHOICE or a list of some kind, so I tend to avoid them in poetry as being too abrupt ... so for the moment, it's probably a toss-up between ... and - ... I'll keep you posted! (I think I have a bit of a "thing" for exclamation marks too ... I'll have to wean myself off those as well. Whew! Off for coffee my friend, and a huge thank you for reading and reviewing.
Best wishes, Sharyn
Comment from volcomfury
Your first stanza alone was my kind of work. You are a wordsmith in your own right. Good flow and artwork choice as well. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Your first stanza alone was my kind of work. You are a wordsmith in your own right. Good flow and artwork choice as well. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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thx again my dear - I do love wordsmithing - and my mother is now better, would you believe ... so all is right with the world (at least for the moment). Best wishes, Sharyn
Comment from ~Vincent Phelps~
A very sad poem. I have read a few today & this one is another great one, that stands out. It tells a story of someone's despair at watching a loved one's mind fade & slowly evaporate onto a breeze. I have witness this first-hand, when my mother passed & I feel these words completely. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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A very sad poem. I have read a few today & this one is another great one, that stands out. It tells a story of someone's despair at watching a loved one's mind fade & slowly evaporate onto a breeze. I have witness this first-hand, when my mother passed & I feel these words completely. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Thx so much for reading & reviewing Vincent. I have a whole new understanding for what others go through now - though in my case, the story has a happy ending because my mother was misdiagnosed. She had a huge nose bleed/ haemorrhage and went into shock, which sent her crazy (quite literally) for 24 hours. But she woke up lucid - which was a miracle. So for the moment, a happy ending. Whew!
Best wishes
Sharyn
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I am happy all worked out!!!! You are welcome.
Comment from JeffreyStone
Well, that does it for you, lady. No more six stars, at least for a while, no matter how great your writing. Alzheimers or Dimentia is a terrible end, and I trust it will not be a rite of passage for you. In my family, especially my mother's side, the rite of passage is to suffer Macular Degeneration, which I have inherited. Rather that than Dimentia, at least, not yet. JeffreyStone
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Well, that does it for you, lady. No more six stars, at least for a while, no matter how great your writing. Alzheimers or Dimentia is a terrible end, and I trust it will not be a rite of passage for you. In my family, especially my mother's side, the rite of passage is to suffer Macular Degeneration, which I have inherited. Rather that than Dimentia, at least, not yet. JeffreyStone
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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oh bother - well don't read anything till next week! FS does make us feel like paupers sometimes, doesn't it? I have a whole new understanding for what others go through now - though in my case, the story has a happy ending because my mother was misdiagnosed. She had a huge nose bleed/ haemorrhage and went into shock, which sent her crazy (quite literally) for 24 hours. But she woke up lucid - which was a miracle. So for the moment, a happy ending. Whew!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Wes Guptill
Hmmm... I just discovered an interesting thing: I have apparently awarded you 2 Six Star ratings for your work in the last thirty days, so I am not able to leave a 6 for this work today... I had no idea that there were constraints on rewarding work that merited the top accolades! I suppose on some level that makes sense, but I bristle, just ever so slightly, when my judgment is called into question in situations like this. I review and rate work based on its content and context, not on its byline. So, it was with a minor frown that I stabbed at the '5 Star' selection for the rating on this one. It was worth a higher rating, but I will not rail further against the FS divinities on the rating system.
Okay, mini-rant is done. What a spectacular piece of work, as I have come to expect of your verse. The images are pulpy and stark, and I will not forget them easily. I knew exactly where this was going when I got into the second stanza, and I shivered, nonetheless. I have had, in the past five years, several run-ins with this nasty destroyer of spirit and mind, dementia. So I read with dread each cascading word, knowing what was coming next. Not that this was predictable-- your material never is, and your mind is ever adroit with the fashioning and spinning of beautiful and terrifying phrases! So I now have another poem of yours to add to my collection. I'll just file this under "Beautiful Nightmares".
Par excellence!
Salud!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Hmmm... I just discovered an interesting thing: I have apparently awarded you 2 Six Star ratings for your work in the last thirty days, so I am not able to leave a 6 for this work today... I had no idea that there were constraints on rewarding work that merited the top accolades! I suppose on some level that makes sense, but I bristle, just ever so slightly, when my judgment is called into question in situations like this. I review and rate work based on its content and context, not on its byline. So, it was with a minor frown that I stabbed at the '5 Star' selection for the rating on this one. It was worth a higher rating, but I will not rail further against the FS divinities on the rating system.
Okay, mini-rant is done. What a spectacular piece of work, as I have come to expect of your verse. The images are pulpy and stark, and I will not forget them easily. I knew exactly where this was going when I got into the second stanza, and I shivered, nonetheless. I have had, in the past five years, several run-ins with this nasty destroyer of spirit and mind, dementia. So I read with dread each cascading word, knowing what was coming next. Not that this was predictable-- your material never is, and your mind is ever adroit with the fashioning and spinning of beautiful and terrifying phrases! So I now have another poem of yours to add to my collection. I'll just file this under "Beautiful Nightmares".
Par excellence!
Salud!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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What a pain, hmm? I have a couple of favorite poets who scream for '6's and it makes me feel downright mean to downgrade to a mere '5'- and I had the same button stabbing experience too, but no matter how agile and determined my fingers were, the damned thing just wouldn't give! Bless you for the "virtual" 6 dear! I love it that you love what I've written! S
Comment from mushroom
my goodness, I have to say this has a dark edge that I just love, it is strange what inspires us to write from the heart, great contest entry
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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my goodness, I have to say this has a dark edge that I just love, it is strange what inspires us to write from the heart, great contest entry
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Thx so much for reading & reviewing M. - sometimes life isn't all birds and flowers I'm afraid!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is so well written a very strong descriptive work I hope that your mother is well at this time there is nothing like this to make you realize how strong a mother daughter bond can be well done on this write regards Jill
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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This is so well written a very strong descriptive work I hope that your mother is well at this time there is nothing like this to make you realize how strong a mother daughter bond can be well done on this write regards Jill
Comment Written 01-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2012
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Thx so much Jill! I have a whole new understanding for what others go through now - though in my case, the story has a happy ending because my mother was misdiagnosed. She had a huge nose bleed/ haemorrhage and went into shock, which sent her crazy (quite literally) for 24 hours. But she woke up lucid - which was a miracle. So for the moment, a happy ending. Whew!
Best wishes
Sharyn