Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Brief History of the Old Testament"A collection of my poems
90 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
If I had more stars you would surly receive it
The artwork tells itall.I love how the poem flows and you are blessed by God to write such an uplifting and simple to read poem about the bible .This should be in every Sunday school class and learn by parents and children.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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If I had more stars you would surly receive it
The artwork tells itall.I love how the poem flows and you are blessed by God to write such an uplifting and simple to read poem about the bible .This should be in every Sunday school class and learn by parents and children.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for your kind review - it may make you happy to know I've already agreed to another reviewer using it in her Sunday School class.
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Praise God. It's all in His doing,
I'm very happy to hear that.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Brief History of the Old Testament' is an exceptionally well-written and entertaining version of the Old Testament. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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'Brief History of the Old Testament' is an exceptionally well-written and entertaining version of the Old Testament. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Thank you for your kind words.
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You're welcome.
Kind wishes, the Duchess
Comment from UPdreamer
This piece has hurt me... my sides, that is, from laughing so hard. Your sattire is disgustingly funny, and a great change from the poems of despair. Thanks so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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This piece has hurt me... my sides, that is, from laughing so hard. Your sattire is disgustingly funny, and a great change from the poems of despair. Thanks so much for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Thank you for the review and the six stars - we all need a laugh - especially when there is despair aplenty
Comment from ulster3
Hello kiwisteveh...
This is just brilliant and written in a modern tone. The rhyming is excellent and it flows so well in the reading. You have a keeper here for sure. Young people should really like this...maybe in Sunday school.
Fondly, Rebecca
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Hello kiwisteveh...
This is just brilliant and written in a modern tone. The rhyming is excellent and it flows so well in the reading. You have a keeper here for sure. Young people should really like this...maybe in Sunday school.
Fondly, Rebecca
Comment Written 21-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Thank you, Rebecca - sorry, didn't fit your namesake in! ou are maybe the tenth person to suggest using this in Sunday School (plus one SS teacher who has already asked permission to use it!)
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Wonderful...I forgive you for the omission of Rebecca. LOL
Comment from Victorian Lady
I was blown away by the wonderful and entertaining telling of the New Testament highlights. You have a wonderful light tone, and the rhymes are excellent. I enjoyed the effort you put in by going in order through the Old Testament and sharing the amazing stories through this very clever poem. Well done!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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I was blown away by the wonderful and entertaining telling of the New Testament highlights. You have a wonderful light tone, and the rhymes are excellent. I enjoyed the effort you put in by going in order through the Old Testament and sharing the amazing stories through this very clever poem. Well done!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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thanks for the review and the six stars - this was a lot of fun to write - I am embarking on a series of Hysterical Historicals ('Cherchez la Femme' was the first) - will get round to Kings and Queens and wars and stuff eventually...
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You are very talented! You are most welcome!
Comment from Mastery
Hello, kiwi. (real name please?) You have quite the poem here, I must admit. It is just a tad long I believe.
"God sent more troubles to afflict 'em
One son a killer, one a victim" (I think this is a stretch,rhyming-wise to be honest.
The overall presentation is well-done, but I think it's a big undertaking for anyone to condense any part of the Bible in a few lines comparatively speaking. Bob
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Hello, kiwi. (real name please?) You have quite the poem here, I must admit. It is just a tad long I believe.
"God sent more troubles to afflict 'em
One son a killer, one a victim" (I think this is a stretch,rhyming-wise to be honest.
The overall presentation is well-done, but I think it's a big undertaking for anyone to condense any part of the Bible in a few lines comparatively speaking. Bob
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Hi, Bob - thanks for the review - yes, I walked the tightrope between writing something meaningful and having a poem that was way too long - it's just a bit of fun, really, while remaining accurate enough to not upset anybody.
Steve
Comment from the old guy
It's too bad we can't rate seven or eight stars! This one is worth more than six!How anyone could be offended I cannot see. This is one of the best poems I've ever read and I've read a lot of 'em in 71 years. I think some religion class teacher would do well to read it to his/her class.It makes the Bible, well, it makes it real!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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It's too bad we can't rate seven or eight stars! This one is worth more than six!How anyone could be offended I cannot see. This is one of the best poems I've ever read and I've read a lot of 'em in 71 years. I think some religion class teacher would do well to read it to his/her class.It makes the Bible, well, it makes it real!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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Now eight stars would be a little extreme - but thank you for the enthusiastic review - several people have commented on its suitability for young people and I've even had a request from a sunday school teacher to use it in her class...
Comment from AlvinTEthington
This is quite amusing. I enjoyed it, as I am preparing for my class on Religious Texts/Poetry.
Do bolt and salt rhyme? They don't in the dialect of American English I speak.
The use of Jews in the mention of the Exodus is anachronistic; the term Jew is Exilic at the earliest.
Since you are stating the Christian Old Testament contains 39 books, I think you need to make clear you are speaking only of the Protestant Old Testament. Every other branch of Christendom has more books in the Old Testament.
These are very minor concerns and do not distract from the satire of the poem, which is quite good. The lilting tone of the aabb rhyme scheme adds to the humor.
A quite enjoyable work.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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This is quite amusing. I enjoyed it, as I am preparing for my class on Religious Texts/Poetry.
Do bolt and salt rhyme? They don't in the dialect of American English I speak.
The use of Jews in the mention of the Exodus is anachronistic; the term Jew is Exilic at the earliest.
Since you are stating the Christian Old Testament contains 39 books, I think you need to make clear you are speaking only of the Protestant Old Testament. Every other branch of Christendom has more books in the Old Testament.
These are very minor concerns and do not distract from the satire of the poem, which is quite good. The lilting tone of the aabb rhyme scheme adds to the humor.
A quite enjoyable work.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
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Ahh, I wondered when someone with depth of knowledge would pick me up on something - but as you say, it doesn't really affecct the overall tenor of the poem.
Yes I do rhyme bolt/salt, but I do know Americans in general don't
Comment from MaryLinda
A very cleverly penned and humorous poem and you know your bible very well too!!!. The poem has terrific imagery and meter and I like the rhyming scheme that you have chosen. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. MaryLinda
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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A very cleverly penned and humorous poem and you know your bible very well too!!!. The poem has terrific imagery and meter and I like the rhyming scheme that you have chosen. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. MaryLinda
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Thank you, MaryLinda. It was fun to write, and there's more to come.
Comment from carolenaleigh
I loved it. So well done with very clever rhymes. I can see it as a children's picture book. -and then to top it off, the author notes, wonderful. I wish I had 6 stars to give.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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I loved it. So well done with very clever rhymes. I can see it as a children's picture book. -and then to top it off, the author notes, wonderful. I wish I had 6 stars to give.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2011
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Thanks for the review and the kind words - you've almost talked me into making it a children's book.