POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 67 "Why?"When I dabble at things.....
50 total reviews
Comment from starkat
Hi Carol,
This is kind of sad and heartwrenching. The 'forever chilled' part sends a chill down my spine and I wonder who she's saying goodbye to. Since she's a mother, I imagine she's saying goodbye to her child. It's like she's weeping and blindling hoping before reality sinks in. Loss of a child has to be the worst, and the pain and grief must be unbearable.
Excellent job with the cinquain format. You chose the perfect artwork. Good luck in this contest! Well done... ;0) Art
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Hi Carol,
This is kind of sad and heartwrenching. The 'forever chilled' part sends a chill down my spine and I wonder who she's saying goodbye to. Since she's a mother, I imagine she's saying goodbye to her child. It's like she's weeping and blindling hoping before reality sinks in. Loss of a child has to be the worst, and the pain and grief must be unbearable.
Excellent job with the cinquain format. You chose the perfect artwork. Good luck in this contest! Well done... ;0) Art
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Art
You understood the poem exactly right...I lost a son and grandson...the pain never goes away, only shifts...STill after all this time, I find myself wondering why...I know it is not our to ask why but sometimes weakness sneaks up ...Thanks for the great review and for understanding...Carol
Comment from RebelRose
This is in keeping with what I said the other night about war being a bitch. So many mothers, spouses and children suffering the loss. Great poem and very appropriate photo.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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This is in keeping with what I said the other night about war being a bitch. So many mothers, spouses and children suffering the loss. Great poem and very appropriate photo.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Patti
Yes...too bad they don't consider all the casualties when they plan these wars...the people left at home suffer for a long long time...Smiles, Carol
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It seems to me that the people who plan these wars seldom have a close relative of their own in them.
Comment from Trybuck
I can only imagine the pain a mother or dad who have lost a child in war or to any other tragic fate. I sincerely hope the forever chilled is an overstatement even though I'm sure the loss will always be felt.
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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I can only imagine the pain a mother or dad who have lost a child in war or to any other tragic fate. I sincerely hope the forever chilled is an overstatement even though I'm sure the loss will always be felt.
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Buck
Having lost my son and grandson, I can tell you it never goes away...Just when you think you have it under control..something happens...you are right back at square one....Thanks for the review...Carol
Comment from amada
Your words sent a chill to my spine. The plea of so many mothers acrosg the globe, every face and color is symbolized in the emotion of your words.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Your words sent a chill to my spine. The plea of so many mothers acrosg the globe, every face and color is symbolized in the emotion of your words.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Amada
Losing a child is an indescribable pain that doesn't ever go away..it may hide, appear in different forms, but it's always lurking there, Thanks for the review...Carol
Comment from mrsmajor
As I read your piece, I felt for all the Mother's and families of those losing their lives in hopeless wars.
It is a feeling that stays for so long. My husband lost his son during the Vietnam war, and at times, he is back at that time in his life. I can only wait until, he can return to the now, and share his grief.
I have never lost a child, and can not imagine how deeply it must hurt. I have lost a 6 1/2 month old grandson, and saw the anguish in my daughter's face. It is still there.
I understand the words of YOUR piece, and would not change anything, as then it would no longer be yours.
Thanks for sharing this thoughtful poem with us, I can only hope that as times go on, you will smile about the good times you and your son shared, if not now, then when you are ready.
My hearts hurts for you, now, and will smile with you when you are ready.
May God forever keep your name in His memory, and grant you His grace.
Victoria (mrsmajor)
With Love.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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As I read your piece, I felt for all the Mother's and families of those losing their lives in hopeless wars.
It is a feeling that stays for so long. My husband lost his son during the Vietnam war, and at times, he is back at that time in his life. I can only wait until, he can return to the now, and share his grief.
I have never lost a child, and can not imagine how deeply it must hurt. I have lost a 6 1/2 month old grandson, and saw the anguish in my daughter's face. It is still there.
I understand the words of YOUR piece, and would not change anything, as then it would no longer be yours.
Thanks for sharing this thoughtful poem with us, I can only hope that as times go on, you will smile about the good times you and your son shared, if not now, then when you are ready.
My hearts hurts for you, now, and will smile with you when you are ready.
May God forever keep your name in His memory, and grant you His grace.
Victoria (mrsmajor)
With Love.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Victoria
I lost my son and my grandson...The pain may change from time to time but it's always lurking there somewhere...Sometimes are outstanding and you laugh and everything is normal and then the littlest of things brings it all crashing in...Thank you for the wonderful comments and concern...I appreciate it very much...Carol
Comment from patwannabe
Carol, perhaps this will be the year for sweet warmth. Grieve when you need to, and smile when you can. I will pray for you evry time I run across your name. pat
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Carol, perhaps this will be the year for sweet warmth. Grieve when you need to, and smile when you can. I will pray for you evry time I run across your name. pat
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Pat
Thank you so much for the kindness. I appreciate it very much...Carol
Comment from words
Well said.
Wouldn't it be wondrous if ever mother in the world stood up and said, "NO", to any cause trying to recruit her son or daughter to go to war.
A simple, "NO".
Loved the art you found for this one.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Well said.
Wouldn't it be wondrous if ever mother in the world stood up and said, "NO", to any cause trying to recruit her son or daughter to go to war.
A simple, "NO".
Loved the art you found for this one.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Words
I am so pleased that you enjoyed the poem...No mother should ever have to suffer the loss of her child...There are more casualties of war than on the front lines. CArol
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Yes, there are many more casualties than on the front lines. Well said.
Comment from joemass
G'day Begin Again
A lovely thoughtful little poem that captures your message well.
One of the problems with short poems is that every word has to be exactly right or it sticks out like a sore thumb - it has nowhere to hide! I think this is the case in l3 with 'to'.; I suggest either 'will' or 'may' would be better in this poem. We aren't, for example, 'hoping tomorrow to come' are we?
Hope this helps
Joemass
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reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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G'day Begin Again
A lovely thoughtful little poem that captures your message well.
One of the problems with short poems is that every word has to be exactly right or it sticks out like a sore thumb - it has nowhere to hide! I think this is the case in l3 with 'to'.; I suggest either 'will' or 'may' would be better in this poem. We aren't, for example, 'hoping tomorrow to come' are we?
Hope this helps
Joemass
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Blindly hoping Sweet warmth to come again,
Blindly hoping sweet warmth will come again
Blindly hoping sweet warmth may come again
Joe..
I tried all three ways and I'm sorry but I still have to stay with how I wrote it...Sweet warmth refers to the child's love..hoping for it's return knowing the impossibility...I guess everyone sees a poem differently...I wrote this with the loss of my son in mind and how I felt...You on the other hand view it another way...That's what makes poetry viable to so many...
Thank you for the review...Carol
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Of course! It's absolutely always your choice in the end.
I'm saddened to hear of the loss of your son.
Take care
Joe
Comment from shadowcast
Excellent poem. By the picture, i would assume that a mother lost a child because of war. The poem by itself depicts, to me, a child lost. Correct me if I am wrong. Either way the art goes very well with the poem. Awesome work. WgS
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Excellent poem. By the picture, i would assume that a mother lost a child because of war. The poem by itself depicts, to me, a child lost. Correct me if I am wrong. Either way the art goes very well with the poem. Awesome work. WgS
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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shadowcase
Awesome...I am so pleased that you enjoyed this poem. It was written in honor of the mothers who lost a child because of the war but the emotions came from the loss of my own son...So it works both ways...Thank you...Carol
Comment from dmjones
As you know I can't review poetry very well or comment on style but I liked the flow of this. The words choosen seemed perfect.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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As you know I can't review poetry very well or comment on style but I liked the flow of this. The words choosen seemed perfect.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2010
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Donna
And I can't write it very well so we make an excellent pair..LOL Thanks so much for the review...Carol