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POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES

Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Our Tomorrows Will Never Come"
When I dabble at things.....

44 total reviews 
Comment from wierdgrace
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Such a small poem, Kaiki I assume, I am not a perfect poet.But the emotions, and the feelings stand out in every word written, now all who reads will be thinking of your son today. thank you so much for sharing.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Wierdgrace....How thoughtful of you to say that. I have a smile on my face again because of people like you.

    Your comments are greatly appreciated. Carol
reply by wierdgrace on 25-Jun-2009
    you are so welcome
reply by wierdgrace on 25-Jun-2009
    you are so welcome
Comment from amada
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I'm sorry for your loss and because I can't even imagine your pain. I am ashamed to write you, but i am a compassionate soul. I wish you happy dreams.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Amada...

    Never be ashamed to be my friend...Thank you. It was a long time agao but this morning it felt like yesterday. But I have much to be thankful for including the friends I have made. Thank you for your generous words. Carol
Comment from zlp22
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Sad poem, but everything has to be put away, your flow of words tell of your heartache, but you always have another day to look forward to. Take care.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Zip22...

    Oh yes...I have been blessed with many wonderful moments in my life. This was just one that caught me off guard this morning.

    Thank you for you generous and kind words.

    Carol
Comment from Joan E.
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Your poem is brimming with pathos. I thought your use of alliteration in this 5-7-5 added to the effect. The title and picture choice complemented your words very well. I hope writing the piece brought you some solace.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Joan...

    The sweet replies from my friends have put a smile back on my face. It was just one of those moments that caught me off guard.

    Thanks for your generous and kind words. Carol
reply by Joan E. on 25-Jun-2009
    I am pleased to hear that joy has been restored. -Joan
Comment from Phil Kitom
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An excellent little poem that says a lot
in so few words. It really brings to mind
the playful little child in us all who has
now grown up but remembers those little
toys and shoes.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Phil...

    Thank you for putting a different slant on my poem.

    I was feeling down this morning because I can no longer share birthday's with my son that died. It was just one of those moments that caught me off guard.

    But now thanks to you...I can think of the poem and the happier side of it.

    Thanks! Carol
reply by Phil Kitom on 25-Jun-2009
    Of course you can Carol and be sure
    he is standing by your side with beaming
    smile close to his mum. But try not to
    cry too much, your tears may hurt, for he
    cannot put his arms around you and comfort you
    as you would want to if the roles were reversed.

    Be happy and feel his light shining inside you filling
    you with his happiness. And think of the the wonderful
    reunion when you meet again.

    Take care dear friend..
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Aww...you made me cry again. But don't take the words back because I loved every one of them. Thanks Phil Your friend Carol
Comment from Larry5000
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Not a whole lot can be said about this short sweet lovely verse, In short (no pun intended) it pretty much sums up the memories of yesterday, how it use to be, so beautiful and precious, to relive always, but sometimes in remembence tears must fall for various reasons, all good we hope.
Take care.
Larry

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Larry..

    Thank you for your comments. My son's birthday is near and my tears got the best of me this morning. Thanks for reading.

    Carol C
reply by Larry5000 on 25-Jun-2009
    Your very welcome as always. Have a great day
    Larry
Comment from Blaidd Drwg
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Carol, a very poignant piece, and in so few words; brilliant. I truly love the way you write about your son, and how you love him. When can we see more o your novel?

John

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Blaidd..

    How nice of you to remember the novel. My problem is that I have written pieces about his teenage years and older but nothing to connect the toddler stage. I'm not sure how I want to do that.

    Thanks for your comments, Carol C
reply by Blaidd Drwg on 25-Jun-2009
    Carol:

    As I recall, there is another story which begins with a miracle birth, has one story about His youth, and then jumps forward to His ministry.

    You already have told us of the miracle birth...

    Your friend, John
Comment from frelanz
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Awww...sad, but sweet. Well written and great artwork with it. Words flow together perfect. Powerful meaning behind a few words. Poems don't need to be long to get a message across. Well done on this :-)

Dawn

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Dawn...

    Thank you for your kind words. It is near my son's birthday and he was on my mind. Thanks again - Carol
Comment from --Turtle.
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Very nicely presented, I like that you kept the wording simple. I can tell it has a lot of emotion behind it. The picture and colors set up the reader to be blue too.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Turtlestage..

    Nice to hear from you. It is nearing his birthday and sometimes sadness overtakes me. Thanks for stopping by.

    Carol
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Did you see Unsung hereos revision? Carol
Comment from rama devi
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Capture a moment and a mood very effectively. As you have not mentioned it being senryu, I do not expect it to meet a formal syllable count, but in case you were intending this to be 5-7-5, I felt to mention that the first line is six syllables.

The alliteration in line one is very good and nicely echoes in the word choice of TUCKED in line two ( so akin to trucks!)...

Very well written.
Artwork suits the theme.
No nits.

Warm Regards,
rama devi

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2009


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
    Rami devi..

    Thanks for your comments. His birthday is near and I thought of him is all. I simply needed to express something. Carol