The Dollar Store
A woman muses during a robbery at a dollar store38 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made me smile here Pam, even though this is a bit scary, we have stores called Poundland and the items they sell are always more than one pound. I loved the humour here, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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You made me smile here Pam, even though this is a bit scary, we have stores called Poundland and the items they sell are always more than one pound. I loved the humour here, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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Thank you Dolly for appreciating the humor that I tried to put in here and for your wonderful comments
Comment from Katiemae1977
This is clever and fun Pam and I really enjoyed it
Your character in this is so real you feel you know her. You did a great job of bringing her to life
Flawless stanzas in iambic tetrameter this would have been a great entry into the share a story in a poem contest.
Thoroughly enjoyed.
Katiemae1977
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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This is clever and fun Pam and I really enjoyed it
Your character in this is so real you feel you know her. You did a great job of bringing her to life
Flawless stanzas in iambic tetrameter this would have been a great entry into the share a story in a poem contest.
Thoroughly enjoyed.
Katiemae1977
Comment Written 15-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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hi, Katie. I thought the sheriff story was for prose. at least all of the entry I've seen have been prose
But thanks for your wonderful thoughts for this review
Comment from patcelaw
This is very well written and I enjoyed listening to it very much and it does have a serious message, but it also is very lighthearted and its presentation and I wish you a very very good evening. Patricia.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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This is very well written and I enjoyed listening to it very much and it does have a serious message, but it also is very lighthearted and its presentation and I wish you a very very good evening. Patricia.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2024
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It's good morning right now sorry I wish you a good morning
And I thank you for reading my poem and reviewing it
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, I'm not sure about humorous. I have to be honest, some of the lines felt forced and unless the woman in mentally ill, not what one would think during an armed robbery. But, as long as you like it, that's all that matters.
notes:
I really liked the color blue.
or
Yes, they were cheap, but they were new.
That's when i saw an angry man.
or
That's when I saw an angry man.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Hmm, I'm not sure about humorous. I have to be honest, some of the lines felt forced and unless the woman in mentally ill, not what one would think during an armed robbery. But, as long as you like it, that's all that matters.
notes:
I really liked the color blue.
or
Yes, they were cheap, but they were new.
That's when i saw an angry man.
or
That's when I saw an angry man.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I don't see any difference on your last two lines about the angry man. They see my denticles for me.
It's humorous because her thoughts are humorous while she's in the middle of a robbery. She's thinking about this manicure she got and the fact that she didn't tell her husband about it.
And also thinking about things like having a drink. You know most people when there is stressful situation they want to drink, right?
so just getting inside her mind if you want to perceive that she's mentally ill that's fine. She can be mentally ill to you.
Thanks for the great review
Comment from Skyler Saige
I enjoyed the lighthearted humor you added within your poem. Though you conveyed your message of guilt, and reflection on one's actions, the upbeat tone and wit of your story tied everything together! Well done!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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I enjoyed the lighthearted humor you added within your poem. Though you conveyed your message of guilt, and reflection on one's actions, the upbeat tone and wit of your story tied everything together! Well done!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and grand review
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Hello Pam. You must have had fun writing this but it seems a bit too silly to ingest and even though the message is clear this is way too crazy to read again.
The thoughts inside her head were lame and the robber wasn't smart at all and the police weren't smart as well to let this happen at a dollar store.
Jesse
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Hello Pam. You must have had fun writing this but it seems a bit too silly to ingest and even though the message is clear this is way too crazy to read again.
The thoughts inside her head were lame and the robber wasn't smart at all and the police weren't smart as well to let this happen at a dollar store.
Jesse
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Jesse. Bless. I know you have trouble with poems that aren't deep. So I knew you probably wouldn't like this one. It does not surprise me nor does it hurt my feelings, my friend.
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I have one question for you. What purpose do you find in writing this poem?
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It's humorous
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Humor is in the eye of the beholder.
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It sure is. All but two reviewers including you have seen the humor
I don't have another one in the works like the refugees poem or the chain migration. I just I just don't have one.
The next few I'm going to post are more philosophical than this one and at least one is love poem. Some of the themes are repeat like you can't take your cash with you and your memories aren't gonna be as vivid now as they were back when they originally happened. I have no more humorous ones in the pipeline I do have another one. You probably won't like and it's about nature. But other people seem to like those those are the ones that I'm being published with so I use this staging ground.
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I understand completely. Go for it!
Comment from jmdg1954
Nicely crafted dollar store poem. This could easily be converted into a story, but I see that because I haven't done poetry posts in years.
Is this an entry for any contest? It should be I thought it was so!id.
Nicely presented
John
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Nicely crafted dollar store poem. This could easily be converted into a story, but I see that because I haven't done poetry posts in years.
Is this an entry for any contest? It should be I thought it was so!id.
Nicely presented
John
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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No John. This was not entered into a contest. I could've entered it into the rhyming contest, but I already had an entry there.
Thank you for your wonderful comments and your excellent rating
Comment from iDri.Luv.Jesus
Wow, a well written poetry that rhymes from start to finish, so awesome! I love it! Your writing style made it so easy for reader(s) to comprehend, and so much fun too. Congrats, and wish you win!
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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Wow, a well written poetry that rhymes from start to finish, so awesome! I love it! Your writing style made it so easy for reader(s) to comprehend, and so much fun too. Congrats, and wish you win!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2024
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Thank you, but this is not an entry for a contest. I could've entered it in the rhyming poetry contest, but I had already entered another one there.
Thank you for your wonderful comments and your excellent rating
