She
maybe some day39 total reviews
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow! This is powerful and written well enough to win a publisher. I mean it. The story went to and fro and I didn't know where it was going to next. I was on the edge of my seat. There was no turning away I was hooked on this tale of the two who could never be together. I love birds. To find a story that writes about a bird-like creature unlike anyone else he had ever known was fascinating.
Thanks for the most entertaining and surreal story I have ever read.
Jesse
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Wow! This is powerful and written well enough to win a publisher. I mean it. The story went to and fro and I didn't know where it was going to next. I was on the edge of my seat. There was no turning away I was hooked on this tale of the two who could never be together. I love birds. To find a story that writes about a bird-like creature unlike anyone else he had ever known was fascinating.
Thanks for the most entertaining and surreal story I have ever read.
Jesse
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent story. Such a tragedy. Guess he should have just stayed and lived another six months.
The sirens drew my out of my fugue state. - huh?
Thanks for the tale.
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Excellent story. Such a tragedy. Guess he should have just stayed and lived another six months.
The sirens drew my out of my fugue state. - huh?
Thanks for the tale.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is excellent story. Your entire presentation is very good. You use expressive words and colorful imagery that will draw in readers. Your imaginative descriptions were fun to read, and your dialogues were authentic sounding for the story plot.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
One note:
that she (was) getting her wish after all
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This is excellent story. Your entire presentation is very good. You use expressive words and colorful imagery that will draw in readers. Your imaginative descriptions were fun to read, and your dialogues were authentic sounding for the story plot.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
One note:
that she (was) getting her wish after all
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed this sci-fi story of whatever the genre. Man develops a love relationship with a winged creature from another planet. In his attempt to leave before the enviroment destroys him, the creature doesn't allow it. She dies by crashing into his craft dooming both of them. Perhaps under other circumstances, they'll meet again in another life. The is a creative and interesting plot.
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I enjoyed this sci-fi story of whatever the genre. Man develops a love relationship with a winged creature from another planet. In his attempt to leave before the enviroment destroys him, the creature doesn't allow it. She dies by crashing into his craft dooming both of them. Perhaps under other circumstances, they'll meet again in another life. The is a creative and interesting plot.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
Comment from LyndaS
Hello there Mr. Giraffmang. Loved the story. This is the first time I'm reading your work. The best part of this is the flow and construction of this piece. You put your reader right there. (following edited) This, to me, is a heartbreaking story of almost forbidden love. Not between two different peoples, but two different species. Really not a tale of space exploration due to the human race destroying the earth. Although you interweave that background beautifully. I really enjoyed this. Well done.
I have some comments. The sirens drew my out of my fugue state. Drew me?
And...an errant thought as I realised that she getting her wish after all. She is or was or she's getting?
Several reviews later...also agree with escarpment vs. escapement.
A mesmerizing tale. Thank you for sharing. Lynda
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Hello there Mr. Giraffmang. Loved the story. This is the first time I'm reading your work. The best part of this is the flow and construction of this piece. You put your reader right there. (following edited) This, to me, is a heartbreaking story of almost forbidden love. Not between two different peoples, but two different species. Really not a tale of space exploration due to the human race destroying the earth. Although you interweave that background beautifully. I really enjoyed this. Well done.
I have some comments. The sirens drew my out of my fugue state. Drew me?
And...an errant thought as I realised that she getting her wish after all. She is or was or she's getting?
Several reviews later...also agree with escarpment vs. escapement.
A mesmerizing tale. Thank you for sharing. Lynda
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
Comment from Jacob1395
I really enjoyed this story and the emotion in both characters came through strongly in this piece, especially with eagle-type creature wanting him to stay. It did give me Avatar vibes as I was reading it a little. I could feel the awe he felt as well when he saw her in the beginning.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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I really enjoyed this story and the emotion in both characters came through strongly in this piece, especially with eagle-type creature wanting him to stay. It did give me Avatar vibes as I was reading it a little. I could feel the awe he felt as well when he saw her in the beginning.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Many thanks for the read and review. It is vry much appreciated.
Avatar - Ferngully dressed in big boy clothes! lol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was such a beautiful story, Gareth, even the ending was a lovely, Romeo and Juliet style. What a woman would do for love, to keep her love from leaving her, but he didn't get angry, he accepted that he would, hopefully, be with her for all eternity. Which is what they both wanted. Amazing, my friend, and I wish I had a six to give you. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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That was such a beautiful story, Gareth, even the ending was a lovely, Romeo and Juliet style. What a woman would do for love, to keep her love from leaving her, but he didn't get angry, he accepted that he would, hopefully, be with her for all eternity. Which is what they both wanted. Amazing, my friend, and I wish I had a six to give you. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Many thanks, Sandra. good to hear from you. I am planning on catching up with your work but my time has been diverted due to personal matters recently. i hope to be writing more soon as well.
this one just sort of sprung up the other day when i was sitting outside my house on the sea-wall watching the seagulls. lol
Much appreciated as always
G
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No problem about reading my work, I know exactly what you mean about personal taking your time, that is more imortant than my work. I, too have had personal health problems recently and I'm miles behind my reading and reviewing. Life comes first, my friend. xxx
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Well, this is a very cool story a really neat approach of putting it out like that you're trying another planet and the third trying to leave. The poor bird. You picked a gorgeous picture too I must say, but it's perfectly with your poem at all. Grammar, spelling sentence structure, word choice all very nicely put together for an inferior engaging read with print character and an original thing. I think it's a great submission. That's the golf team and I hope you have a awesome night!
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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Well, this is a very cool story a really neat approach of putting it out like that you're trying another planet and the third trying to leave. The poor bird. You picked a gorgeous picture too I must say, but it's perfectly with your poem at all. Grammar, spelling sentence structure, word choice all very nicely put together for an inferior engaging read with print character and an original thing. I think it's a great submission. That's the golf team and I hope you have a awesome night!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Many thanks for checking this piece out.
Comment from Janis Miller
I think this is my first time reading one of your stories. Things I liked: I loved the introduction. It pulled me in right away. The description of what to me seems like a harpy was great. I could almost perfectly imagine what she sounded like (in my own mind).
Things I didn't like: Breaking the fourth wall when the character talked about "main character" things sort of took me out of the fantasy. It didn't have a huge importance to me as far as the story went and had the opposite affect. Luckily, I was able to get back into it pretty quickly.
I think I was most intrigued with the relationship between the two. I wonder if the Harpy like creature had a name. It certainly would make sense that if he taught her how to speak, perhaps he would have named her as well? Maybe.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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I think this is my first time reading one of your stories. Things I liked: I loved the introduction. It pulled me in right away. The description of what to me seems like a harpy was great. I could almost perfectly imagine what she sounded like (in my own mind).
Things I didn't like: Breaking the fourth wall when the character talked about "main character" things sort of took me out of the fantasy. It didn't have a huge importance to me as far as the story went and had the opposite affect. Luckily, I was able to get back into it pretty quickly.
I think I was most intrigued with the relationship between the two. I wonder if the Harpy like creature had a name. It certainly would make sense that if he taught her how to speak, perhaps he would have named her as well? Maybe.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Many thanks for the read and review.
I don't post very often on site anymore. I used to be quite prevalent but time, life and other ventures has a habit of dwindling participation. lol
I see what you mean, but in first person narrative, the story is being told by the character and thus there isn't really a fourth wall to break. It's merely their observations . commentary but I understand about taking away from the thrust of the piece.
The name thing is deliberate as it's a peculiar thing. We don't get the narrator's name, or gender, either.
Much appreciated
GMG