Fanstory Group Hug
Reviews for one of my writings.50 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
I was absolutely blown away by the profound us of this Writing it's so beautifully points out the necessity of us, to be honest with her feelings, and write what is on our mind. I had a situation in my life. When I was young were I had to forgive my mother for holding a gun on me. It was not an easy thing to forgive, but I knew immediately that I had to forgive, in order to forget, which is a hard thing to do but I was able to at some point after I married to allow my mother to live With us in our home. The best thing that I ever did was to begin to write poetry as a way to release the hertz, and the pants in my life. You are to be commended for this group hug, and I appreciate every word that you conveyed to us here. May God bless you and keep you and also you are not an idiot. You are a genius in the way you present at this. Patricia.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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I was absolutely blown away by the profound us of this Writing it's so beautifully points out the necessity of us, to be honest with her feelings, and write what is on our mind. I had a situation in my life. When I was young were I had to forgive my mother for holding a gun on me. It was not an easy thing to forgive, but I knew immediately that I had to forgive, in order to forget, which is a hard thing to do but I was able to at some point after I married to allow my mother to live With us in our home. The best thing that I ever did was to begin to write poetry as a way to release the hertz, and the pants in my life. You are to be commended for this group hug, and I appreciate every word that you conveyed to us here. May God bless you and keep you and also you are not an idiot. You are a genius in the way you present at this. Patricia.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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Thank you for your wonderfully warm words Pat. Glad you survived your tough mother. There are a lot of survivors on here!
Comment from Karyn2
What a pretty amazing group of people here on Fanstory! I see countless times how many reach out above and beyond with generosity and kindness. What a really lovely way to honour this family through your words here. I want to wish you all the wishes in the world as you process and step forward. Each day a little lighter, a little more free. I have found that with forgiveness that it often isn't a once off thing but a constant choice. Frequently choosing again to forgive and let go of bitterness and painful memories, anger and frustration as we can so easily think we dealt with it once and then thoughts creep back and emotions flood back. I'm sure that your first story and this thank you piece will impact so many others struggling to tell their story and make peace with their past. Bravo to you!
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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What a pretty amazing group of people here on Fanstory! I see countless times how many reach out above and beyond with generosity and kindness. What a really lovely way to honour this family through your words here. I want to wish you all the wishes in the world as you process and step forward. Each day a little lighter, a little more free. I have found that with forgiveness that it often isn't a once off thing but a constant choice. Frequently choosing again to forgive and let go of bitterness and painful memories, anger and frustration as we can so easily think we dealt with it once and then thoughts creep back and emotions flood back. I'm sure that your first story and this thank you piece will impact so many others struggling to tell their story and make peace with their past. Bravo to you!
Comment Written 09-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the kind wonderful words in your review! You are in that group of amazing people on this site. Thank you!
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Thanks Doug that's kind of you to say so!
Comment from JT traveller
My heart is torn, I agree with both John Ciarmello and Country Ranch Writer.
Sometimes forgiveness is extremely hard. Sometimes it takes a long time. Sometimes it never comes Al Ng, in my humble opinion. It depends on how deeply someone has hurt you.
It is very kind of you to thank your reviewers in such manner.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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My heart is torn, I agree with both John Ciarmello and Country Ranch Writer.
Sometimes forgiveness is extremely hard. Sometimes it takes a long time. Sometimes it never comes Al Ng, in my humble opinion. It depends on how deeply someone has hurt you.
It is very kind of you to thank your reviewers in such manner.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2023
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The people on here are very kind. Thank you for your review. How are your travels going. It seems you are on sabbatical, seeking solace? Safe travels.
Comment from Jay Squires
It sounds like you received much more than you bargained for when you paid your membership in FanStory. You would gain nothing by my adding to the sound advice the others have given. You have a world of wisdom to sample.
Jay
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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It sounds like you received much more than you bargained for when you paid your membership in FanStory. You would gain nothing by my adding to the sound advice the others have given. You have a world of wisdom to sample.
Jay
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Jay! I appreciate you!
Comment from Mark Kuglin
Powerful piece, Douglas.
Kudos to you for having the courage to share an uncomfortable, upsetting burden.
I too had an abusive father and unfortunately I was born into a family loaded with narcissists.
I struggled for years with your burden and became an alcoholic. With God's help, therapy and the wisdom of many I have been free and sober for thirty six years.
The start of my path to forgiveness was the wise words of a friend. "You're not doing it for them or to bring about any outcome....The outcome is God's business. My job is to release it."
Somewhere around my five year mark of sobriety I had to make a decision. "Would you tolerate this behavior from anyone not related?"
My answer was no...A bit past that my burden lifted.
My decision ended some family ties and changed a few others.
Xxxxxx
I haven't forgotten what my father and others did to me.
The HUGE difference is it doesn't own me.
I can talk about any of it and I'm just reporting.
I don't relive the emotions.
Blessings to you sir
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Powerful piece, Douglas.
Kudos to you for having the courage to share an uncomfortable, upsetting burden.
I too had an abusive father and unfortunately I was born into a family loaded with narcissists.
I struggled for years with your burden and became an alcoholic. With God's help, therapy and the wisdom of many I have been free and sober for thirty six years.
The start of my path to forgiveness was the wise words of a friend. "You're not doing it for them or to bring about any outcome....The outcome is God's business. My job is to release it."
Somewhere around my five year mark of sobriety I had to make a decision. "Would you tolerate this behavior from anyone not related?"
My answer was no...A bit past that my burden lifted.
My decision ended some family ties and changed a few others.
Xxxxxx
I haven't forgotten what my father and others did to me.
The HUGE difference is it doesn't own me.
I can talk about any of it and I'm just reporting.
I don't relive the emotions.
Blessings to you sir
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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I am glad you defeated your demons, Mark. I think you are a great addition to this site and you are a very good writer! Thank you for the great review, and the awesome words of advice!
D
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Thank you so much, Douglas.
Your comment about me being here and your compliment about my writing mean a great deal.
My pleasure with the advice.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hey, Douglas! This is sensationally written! It never ceases to amaze me how there's always an outpouring of help from our FS community when someone is in need. It's comforting to know that there are kind people out there and to have a group of people to turn to for advice or just a comforting word or two. I, for one, am proud to be associated with such a wonderful collage of peeps! I loved this piece! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Hey, Douglas! This is sensationally written! It never ceases to amaze me how there's always an outpouring of help from our FS community when someone is in need. It's comforting to know that there are kind people out there and to have a group of people to turn to for advice or just a comforting word or two. I, for one, am proud to be associated with such a wonderful collage of peeps! I loved this piece! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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I am, too. There's a lot of good people on here that I have made friends with. I count you as one of them, John. We have a similar wit. Thank you!
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Ditto, my friend!
Comment from prettybluebirds
I read your story and was deeply touched by all you suffered. I had a wonderful father, so I cannot imagine the pain a father like yours could inflict. I had the most problem forgiving myself. I blamed myself for the death of my son in a hunting accident. I felt it was my fault for allowing him to hunt with other young men and no older man to advise and watch over them. It has taken me years to quit wanting to punish myself. Remember, you punish yourself by hanging onto the bad in your past. Let it go.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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I read your story and was deeply touched by all you suffered. I had a wonderful father, so I cannot imagine the pain a father like yours could inflict. I had the most problem forgiving myself. I blamed myself for the death of my son in a hunting accident. I felt it was my fault for allowing him to hunt with other young men and no older man to advise and watch over them. It has taken me years to quit wanting to punish myself. Remember, you punish yourself by hanging onto the bad in your past. Let it go.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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You said it yourself. Accident. Hunting accident. Terrible stupid things happen on this blue marble. You have zero blame in that. I'm glad you have moved forward so well. Thank you my friend.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like your artwork and premise of a group hug from Fanstorians, Douglas.
-I am glad so many reached out to you and each one had some good ideas, and cared about your well being. I didn't see the post, but I am glad you shared this because as a number of people said, sharing your feelings can be a good form of therapy.
-I agree that the forgiveness is all about you. As a child, we see things very differently, and often they think whatever is wrong in the family is their fault, and they can carry that burden around for a lifetime.
-I would agree with a few of your writers that if you are having trouble after trying some of the ideas, and you still feel this heavy burden, that seeking professional help is a good idea, and not a stigma, as some would have you believe. Hope this helps a little bit more. Take care and be well.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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-I like your artwork and premise of a group hug from Fanstorians, Douglas.
-I am glad so many reached out to you and each one had some good ideas, and cared about your well being. I didn't see the post, but I am glad you shared this because as a number of people said, sharing your feelings can be a good form of therapy.
-I agree that the forgiveness is all about you. As a child, we see things very differently, and often they think whatever is wrong in the family is their fault, and they can carry that burden around for a lifetime.
-I would agree with a few of your writers that if you are having trouble after trying some of the ideas, and you still feel this heavy burden, that seeking professional help is a good idea, and not a stigma, as some would have you believe. Hope this helps a little bit more. Take care and be well.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Pam. I think counseling is a great idea!
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You are very welcome, Douglas, and your reply means a lot.
Comment from GWHARGIS
It's amazing how forgiveness of others releases the hold they have on us. It's like breaking the chain that binds us together. We are free. I will make it a point to go back and read your story. Happy healing. Unfortunately, parents are just people. Some good, some bad. Gretchen
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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It's amazing how forgiveness of others releases the hold they have on us. It's like breaking the chain that binds us together. We are free. I will make it a point to go back and read your story. Happy healing. Unfortunately, parents are just people. Some good, some bad. Gretchen
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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Words of wisdom, my friend. Thank you for the awesome review.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
May the road ahead be clearer than the road behind , forevermore.
I had an abusive dad but only when liquored-up and that may have been caused by arthritic pain from hopping freight cars and an athletic lifestyle in his youth. I left the hurt behind and fortunately did not bring allow his wrongs to be mine as many children do end up doing what their parent should not have done.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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May the road ahead be clearer than the road behind , forevermore.
I had an abusive dad but only when liquored-up and that may have been caused by arthritic pain from hopping freight cars and an athletic lifestyle in his youth. I left the hurt behind and fortunately did not bring allow his wrongs to be mine as many children do end up doing what their parent should not have done.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2023
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You are a good man, Tom. I am better for knowing you! Thanks.