The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Return Chapter 12"Erotic Turmoil
35 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Ah, that is an interesting ending to a marvelous chapter, Sandra. I just love this story. We walk from the bitter Quendolyn, via Meg and Miles to Lord Brandon's elegant home. Poor Margot is tired. She's not an eternal ghost who doesn't need any sleep. I can't wait for the next chapter. By the way, I loved the scene in the kitchen with poor Jane. A big hug, Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Ah, that is an interesting ending to a marvelous chapter, Sandra. I just love this story. We walk from the bitter Quendolyn, via Meg and Miles to Lord Brandon's elegant home. Poor Margot is tired. She's not an eternal ghost who doesn't need any sleep. I can't wait for the next chapter. By the way, I loved the scene in the kitchen with poor Jane. A big hug, Ulla xxx
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much, Ulla, for this lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I'm having such fun with it. I'm also pleased you enjoyed the kitchen scene with Jane. Poor girl. Lol. Thanks, also for the golden star, my dear friend. I really appreciate it. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from BethShelby
I'm never ready for these chapters to end. If this was a book I'd borrowed or bought, I read it all at one sitting if it took all night. I'm just saying I find it that interesting. I still have questions about Bessie because if she was around when all this was happening, why does she act like there is so much for her to discover. If she is an angel on assignment then many she once lives as a person and came back as an angel. Maybe she worked for his family as a maid at one time, but was reincarnated as an angel on assignment. Just trying to figure it out. I guess I should question fantasy. LOL
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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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I'm never ready for these chapters to end. If this was a book I'd borrowed or bought, I read it all at one sitting if it took all night. I'm just saying I find it that interesting. I still have questions about Bessie because if she was around when all this was happening, why does she act like there is so much for her to discover. If she is an angel on assignment then many she once lives as a person and came back as an angel. Maybe she worked for his family as a maid at one time, but was reincarnated as an angel on assignment. Just trying to figure it out. I guess I should question fantasy. LOL
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Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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You won't find out about Bessie until Margot does, and that won't happen until the end. Sorry!!! LOL. (No, I'm not really)
Thank you so much for another lovely review, and thank you for your continued support. I love your reviews!! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can't wait to see how Meg's father lost his money. The plot get's thicker. I really like this story.
BELOW ARE TWO POV'S TOGETHER. YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
How comes 'e be knowin' me name? Oh, Cookie, 'urry up an' come. (Jane's POV)
Will I ever be bored looking into your eyes, my dear one? No, never. (Mile's POV)
When Margot woke up the next morning, (the following morning)
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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I can't wait to see how Meg's father lost his money. The plot get's thicker. I really like this story.
BELOW ARE TWO POV'S TOGETHER. YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
How comes 'e be knowin' me name? Oh, Cookie, 'urry up an' come. (Jane's POV)
Will I ever be bored looking into your eyes, my dear one? No, never. (Mile's POV)
When Margot woke up the next morning, (the following morning)
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you so very much for this really lovely, and most helpful review, Barbara. I've completely removed Jane's thoughts and modified the rest. It's more important to keep Miles in the flow, he'll feature a lot more. And thanks for the pointing out the other slip up. I don't know where I'd be without you and others correcting my errors. And thank you for the golden sixth star, my friend! I'm so pleased you are still enjoying my book. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading another chapter. I like to see what happens next. Your dialogue is well written and flows naturally, which is a skill to master in and of itself. I hope to write a novel one day, but as a new writer seems a way off. Was your first novel difficult to begin?
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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed reading another chapter. I like to see what happens next. Your dialogue is well written and flows naturally, which is a skill to master in and of itself. I hope to write a novel one day, but as a new writer seems a way off. Was your first novel difficult to begin?
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Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for your lovely review. I had never written a novel or even an essay before I joined Fanstory. I was a children's poetry/story writer. I started off entering a short story contest on here, and won. But it was a year later when I looked at it again I saw how many errors there were. I thought I'd tidy it up, and see if I could make it a bit longer. The prose writers on here took me under their wings and that short story ended up as a time-travel trilogy. Published and selling well. If you want to write, then you have the perfect place to learn, but you must be prepared to accept advice and critisism. I wish you the best of luck in your journey, and I'll follow along and see how you get on. Thanks again for this lovely review. This is my 9th novel. :)) Sandra xxx
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What tremendous accomplishments you?ve had!! I feel as though two writers have taken me under their wings already, which is a bit scary and exciting all at once. Thanks for sharing .
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You'll be fine, I promise! xx
Comment from Shirley McLain
Another great chapter to read. I love this story and want to see where it heads next. I feel sorry for Gwendolyn because she's so sour and bitter. Enjoy your Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Another great chapter to read. I love this story and want to see where it heads next. I feel sorry for Gwendolyn because she's so sour and bitter. Enjoy your Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 20-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much, Shirley, for this great review and for the lovely golden star. I'm over the moon you are still enjoying my story. Thanks, my friend. Warm hugs! :)) Sandra xx