Incident on a Lonely Highway
A woman on a lonely highway has a fender bender.43 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
Wow! Didn't see that coming! It first seemed like a love story. Your writing is superb, good character development and imagery, plus excellent ability to let the readers think we know where the story turns. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Wow! Didn't see that coming! It first seemed like a love story. Your writing is superb, good character development and imagery, plus excellent ability to let the readers think we know where the story turns. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Thanks, Judy. Great review. I wrote this years ago and don't remember how I got the idea. I think it just came to me as I wrote pieces for a book our writer's club was going to publish to raise money for the local museum. I DO love the smell of rain on creosote bushes. That part of it is true.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Oh! I just loved this story. I love stories that grab my interest within the first few sentences, but do not give away where the story is going. I enjoyed writing in my mind, along with you and guessing where you might go. I felt empowered that I wasn't dealing with a poor damsel in distress. The surprise ending was superb.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Oh! I just loved this story. I love stories that grab my interest within the first few sentences, but do not give away where the story is going. I enjoyed writing in my mind, along with you and guessing where you might go. I felt empowered that I wasn't dealing with a poor damsel in distress. The surprise ending was superb.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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What a great review! I never thought about writing along in my head to see where someone's story was going. Sounds like fun.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I could always give you a six on everything you post, but this late in the week, I've been out for days. So, you'll just have to accept my virtual six. But it spends just as well. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Well, I could always give you a six on everything you post, but this late in the week, I've been out for days. So, you'll just have to accept my virtual six. But it spends just as well. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Thanks, Ric. I do accept virtual sixers.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this post and was shocked by the ending. I was positive something was going to happen to Mina. I never dreamed Adonis would be the victim. Thank you for sharing.
Glaring I say, "you're standing in the road. (capital 'Y' needed on 'you're')
"I carry all that stuff together in another wallet but I cleaned out my glovebox and ---?"
"Are you trying to pull something? You rear-ended me, lady, and that's against the law." (Two different people speaking, you need a space between them.)
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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I enjoyed reading this post and was shocked by the ending. I was positive something was going to happen to Mina. I never dreamed Adonis would be the victim. Thank you for sharing.
Glaring I say, "you're standing in the road. (capital 'Y' needed on 'you're')
"I carry all that stuff together in another wallet but I cleaned out my glovebox and ---?"
"Are you trying to pull something? You rear-ended me, lady, and that's against the law." (Two different people speaking, you need a space between them.)
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Hi, Barbara. You're right, that needs a capital Y. And I guess I messed up the formatting when I made a correction. Will fix. Thanks, as always for reviewing.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Not Flash fiction, but it does have a surprise ending, Norma. LOL I agree with Vlad. Too much curry can give a person indigestion. I guess Vampires are people too. Well done, Dear, Nancy:)
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Not Flash fiction, but it does have a surprise ending, Norma. LOL I agree with Vlad. Too much curry can give a person indigestion. I guess Vampires are people too. Well done, Dear, Nancy:)
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Hello again. This one was fun to write and I appreciate your review.
Comment from Jay Squires
So good to hear from you again, Norma. I haven't read anything of yours since the novel about the German soldier. Your skills haven't abandoned you. This is well-written, engaging, and takes the reader exactly where you want him/her to go with no unnecessary words on the odometer.
Good job. A few notes as I read along.
I sigh as I think about to Tiburcio Vasquez and his bandits [I don't think you want that "to" there, Norma.
Glaring I say, "you're standing in the road. [Correct me if I'm wrong (I know your editorial credentials), but shouldn't "you're" be capitalized?]
but the brain of an gnat? [... the brain of {a} gnat?]
Ha! That ending came out of nowhere, Norma! You never know who you'll find in a house in Ridgecrest!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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So good to hear from you again, Norma. I haven't read anything of yours since the novel about the German soldier. Your skills haven't abandoned you. This is well-written, engaging, and takes the reader exactly where you want him/her to go with no unnecessary words on the odometer.
Good job. A few notes as I read along.
I sigh as I think about to Tiburcio Vasquez and his bandits [I don't think you want that "to" there, Norma.
Glaring I say, "you're standing in the road. [Correct me if I'm wrong (I know your editorial credentials), but shouldn't "you're" be capitalized?]
but the brain of an gnat? [... the brain of {a} gnat?]
Ha! That ending came out of nowhere, Norma! You never know who you'll find in a house in Ridgecrest!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Hi, Jay! I think I made those edits already, but I'll look. You'll be seeing more about the German soldier in a few days. A short story about his efforts to help a suicidal woman after the war. Great to hear from you.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What a surprise ending! You write beautifully and I really like the following sentence:
A warm breeze caresses my cheek.
All the time, I thought she was a victim. It turned out that she was fishing for Vlad, the Dracula.
I would like to read more of your writing.
Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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What a surprise ending! You write beautifully and I really like the following sentence:
A warm breeze caresses my cheek.
All the time, I thought she was a victim. It turned out that she was fishing for Vlad, the Dracula.
I would like to read more of your writing.
Well done.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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I'll be posting something else in a few days. Glad you liked this little piece. I had fun writing it. Thanks for the review.
Comment from Mary Shifman
I love this story. I knew she was up to something, but hadn't decided what her nature was until the end. On rereading it, you did drop little clues along the way. She seemed so confident that she could handle anything Adonis could dish out, and apparently, she could. I take it she was Mina Harker and she's a vampire, too. I enjoyed this vampire tale very much. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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I love this story. I knew she was up to something, but hadn't decided what her nature was until the end. On rereading it, you did drop little clues along the way. She seemed so confident that she could handle anything Adonis could dish out, and apparently, she could. I take it she was Mina Harker and she's a vampire, too. I enjoyed this vampire tale very much. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Yep, Mina Harker (Countess Dracula.) Thanks for reviewing, Mary.
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You are welcome.
Comment from chatterbox1
Oh, yeah. You got me. I'm thinking warm summer rain and a scary drive at night on a lonely highway. Then I'm thinking, "You go, Girl! You aren't afraid-- maybe a bit foolish and trusting, but... "
I wasn't at all suspicious until you mentioned a husband. Good one.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Oh, yeah. You got me. I'm thinking warm summer rain and a scary drive at night on a lonely highway. Then I'm thinking, "You go, Girl! You aren't afraid-- maybe a bit foolish and trusting, but... "
I wasn't at all suspicious until you mentioned a husband. Good one.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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HaHa. She's Countess Dracula! Glad you liked it.
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It's 4:30 am here. Shouldn't non-vampires be sleeping?
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Are you sure I'm a non-vampire? LOL!
Comment from playinaround
This is an interesting story. Some lines were repeated... 'warm breeze caressing... In the end, did the lady bring the man home to feed him to her husband. Maybe I misread. If that is the case, then I love this story... excellent!
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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This is an interesting story. Some lines were repeated... 'warm breeze caressing... In the end, did the lady bring the man home to feed him to her husband. Maybe I misread. If that is the case, then I love this story... excellent!
Comment Written 17-Sep-2021
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
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Oh, no. You got it. Husband is Count Vlad Dracula. She's Mina. Glad you loved it. I had fun writing it.