Oblivion
A story about guilt33 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
I am a nurse in a nursing home and am familiar with hospice and the decisions that family members have to make. Your story describes well the difficult time it can be when an individual with dementia falls. Excellent true to life tale.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
I am a nurse in a nursing home and am familiar with hospice and the decisions that family members have to make. Your story describes well the difficult time it can be when an individual with dementia falls. Excellent true to life tale.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Hi, mermaids,
Thank you. I don?t know how the staff in nursing facilities manage.
Kindest regards,
J.P.
Comment from lancellot
This seems like a sad story. The thing is it is written strangely. The flow is off.
Dad had fallen in the "Memory Unit," breaking like antique glass.
- Here the reader has to wonder, what is he talking about. What's a memory unit?
Alive, he'd be totally disoriented, bedridden,
- The second paragraph been awkwardly. Read this out loud and see how it sounds.
I can't be sure, but I would advise checking through it before the voting begins.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
This seems like a sad story. The thing is it is written strangely. The flow is off.
Dad had fallen in the "Memory Unit," breaking like antique glass.
- Here the reader has to wonder, what is he talking about. What's a memory unit?
Alive, he'd be totally disoriented, bedridden,
- The second paragraph been awkwardly. Read this out loud and see how it sounds.
I can't be sure, but I would advise checking through it before the voting begins.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Hi, lancellot,
Thanks for your review and the suggestions. Your time is very much appreciated.
Best wishes,
J.P.
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, Oblivion, has the required word count and creates the powerful scene of having to make the legal decisions to end a parent's life. Such actions come with long, dark residual effects.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
This one-hundred-word story, Oblivion, has the required word count and creates the powerful scene of having to make the legal decisions to end a parent's life. Such actions come with long, dark residual effects.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2021
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Thank you for that wonderful review, Bill.