Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Betrayal Chapter 18"In the title.
45 total reviews
Comment from damommy
Colin really did a number on Tania, and it's a wonder she survived. Can't wait to see what Grant comes up with as a question to Colin. Strange that he tied her feet but no her hands.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Colin really did a number on Tania, and it's a wonder she survived. Can't wait to see what Grant comes up with as a question to Colin. Strange that he tied her feet but no her hands.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you, Yvonne, for reading this part. He couldn't really tie her hands with her arm broken. Mind you, he might have had some perverse pleasure in it. No, I'll give him the benefit of th doubt there!! Lol. This is all happening in one day. Her waking up, Grant's plan, getting Colin to be at his own apartment, and hopefully the question that Colin must ask Tania to allow Grant and his team to follow him. So hold on for the bumpy ride!! Warm hugs, dear SATP. Much love, Sandra xxx
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I'm a-holdin' on. Ready for the next step.
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LOL!!! xxx
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I do feel sorry for Tania. She has suffered greatly at Colin's hand and she is in dire need of help. Broken bones can lead to serious problems if not attended to immediately or properly. Why can't he just ask for the original plans. The first draft or something like that? A computer print out maybe. Maybe Monica can come up with a solution. Well done, Sandra. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I do feel sorry for Tania. She has suffered greatly at Colin's hand and she is in dire need of help. Broken bones can lead to serious problems if not attended to immediately or properly. Why can't he just ask for the original plans. The first draft or something like that? A computer print out maybe. Maybe Monica can come up with a solution. Well done, Sandra. Nancy:)
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Things are going to be happening very soon, Nancy. :)) Thank you so much, my dear, for another lovely review. Take care, and stay safe, my friend. :)) Sandra. xxx
Comment from greyson ernst
so this is amazing how many chapters are you planning to have? nice picture and as always keep writing and stay safe have a happy weekend
sincerely Greyson Ernst
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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so this is amazing how many chapters are you planning to have? nice picture and as always keep writing and stay safe have a happy weekend
sincerely Greyson Ernst
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you, Greyson. So pleased you enjoyed this part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Ben Colder
Things are starting to shape in certain areas but much drama tells a different story. Now lets catch the culprit before he comes back and kills the girl.
He is a meanie and all for money.
Another good one Sandy.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Things are starting to shape in certain areas but much drama tells a different story. Now lets catch the culprit before he comes back and kills the girl.
He is a meanie and all for money.
Another good one Sandy.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much, Chuck, for those lovely six stars. I think there will be a shock in store soon for Colin. Stay with me, dear friend. :)) love Sandy. xxxx
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Oh yes, no doubt the scum bag will get it. OOPs . Got carried away.
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LOL!!! You've been with JB too long, Chuck! No, he's nice, I like him ... and you!! Lol. xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am glad Grant went to talk to Monica. It shows he's a really good guy. They have to get to Tania and fast. This poor girl can't handle much more. I want her and Grant to get together so bad. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I am glad Grant went to talk to Monica. It shows he's a really good guy. They have to get to Tania and fast. This poor girl can't handle much more. I want her and Grant to get together so bad. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you so very much for the six stars, Barbara, and the lovely review. No, Tania is coming to the end of her endurance. Warm hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Mistydawn
Poor thing, I do hope they are able to find her soon, before it's too late. I wish they would've set up a specific time, early in the day instead of leaving it up to him because all of this waiting is killing me. Your chapter is well-written, interesting from start to finish. I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Poor thing, I do hope they are able to find her soon, before it's too late. I wish they would've set up a specific time, early in the day instead of leaving it up to him because all of this waiting is killing me. Your chapter is well-written, interesting from start to finish. I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you so very much, Misty, for this lovely review. You are always so encouraging, my friend. Thank you. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from RetroStarfish
I enjoyed reading this chapter, the plot is inching forward (as it should) and again you have a mix of several threads of the story. You also have also sprinkled in some humour to offset the tension: "Are they all giants in the army?"
Just a couple of small things:
'You must have smelt the coffee.' Should be smelled.
'If she could see her face, she'd be horrified.' This paragraph needs a bit of tweaking. Its odd to start by stating that she can't see her face and then go on to describe it. I suggest you use the parts where she feels the bruises blooming and then have her imagine the colour that she can't see.
My third and final suggestion is about head hopping. Monica opens the door to her apartment and we are clearly seeing things from her point of view. But suddenly it switches to Grant's point of view. This is what I mean by head hopping. It's also called 'omniscient voice' where the reader knows what every character is thinking at all times. There is nothing wrong with it, but its very rare and not something publishers are keen on. I encourage you to keep this in mind since I hope you one day plan to publish this novel!
Good look and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I enjoyed reading this chapter, the plot is inching forward (as it should) and again you have a mix of several threads of the story. You also have also sprinkled in some humour to offset the tension: "Are they all giants in the army?"
Just a couple of small things:
'You must have smelt the coffee.' Should be smelled.
'If she could see her face, she'd be horrified.' This paragraph needs a bit of tweaking. Its odd to start by stating that she can't see her face and then go on to describe it. I suggest you use the parts where she feels the bruises blooming and then have her imagine the colour that she can't see.
My third and final suggestion is about head hopping. Monica opens the door to her apartment and we are clearly seeing things from her point of view. But suddenly it switches to Grant's point of view. This is what I mean by head hopping. It's also called 'omniscient voice' where the reader knows what every character is thinking at all times. There is nothing wrong with it, but its very rare and not something publishers are keen on. I encourage you to keep this in mind since I hope you one day plan to publish this novel!
Good look and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much for this. On your advice I've gone back and made some changes. I wish I'd thought of all that before I posted, but I'm so pleased you pointed them out. Thank you!! :) Sandra xxx
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
It is a kind of torture reading how badly she is hurt and hoping Grant comes up with a good question. The mystery is gripping but we know, hopefully, you will come through.
Ralf
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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It is a kind of torture reading how badly she is hurt and hoping Grant comes up with a good question. The mystery is gripping but we know, hopefully, you will come through.
Ralf
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you, dear Ralf, for another really lovely review. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Oh, another glorious Sunday morning, offering up the chance to glimpse upon your smiling face that, I've come to look so forward to seeing. And of course, another chapter. :-) Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Oh, another glorious Sunday morning, offering up the chance to glimpse upon your smiling face that, I've come to look so forward to seeing. And of course, another chapter. :-) Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Love you lots, Ric! You are such a flatterer, you make my Sundays special. Thank you so very much for those lovely six stars, my dear friend. Sending you a humongous hug! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from BethShelby
I am enjoying this story and If it was a book, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to put ti down until I finished it. You have don't such a great job with the personalities of these characters. Looking forward to more.
Beth
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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I am enjoying this story and If it was a book, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to put ti down until I finished it. You have don't such a great job with the personalities of these characters. Looking forward to more.
Beth
Comment Written 24-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2021
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Thank you so much, my friend, for another lovely review. I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx