Betrayal
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Betrayal Chapter 9"In the title.
41 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I didn't see any nits, Sandra. I get so deep in thought when I read a story I seldom notice mistakes. It has to be a big one for me to notice. This is exciting, She has him set up for the fall and he is anxious to grab the bait! I hope she nails the obnoxious Cad. He deserves it. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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I didn't see any nits, Sandra. I get so deep in thought when I read a story I seldom notice mistakes. It has to be a big one for me to notice. This is exciting, She has him set up for the fall and he is anxious to grab the bait! I hope she nails the obnoxious Cad. He deserves it. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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If I had to choose between a reader finding my nits, or one who gets so involved with the story, it's the second one I'd go for most of all. Thank you so much, Nancy, you have given me a most encouraging review and I loved it. Warm hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Ulla
Hi Sandra, that Colin is a piece of bad art, isn't he. He is so assured of himself, and thinks he can have his way with her, so to speak. He's disgusting. I still think she has to be careful. Please hurry up with what is next. I like this story. A hug, Ulla xxx
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Hi Sandra, that Colin is a piece of bad art, isn't he. He is so assured of himself, and thinks he can have his way with her, so to speak. He's disgusting. I still think she has to be careful. Please hurry up with what is next. I like this story. A hug, Ulla xxx
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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He truly is a bad piece work, Ulla, and there are loads like him around. Now he is surely up to something. Thank you so much, my friend, your review and all those stars are so encouraging, I really do appreciate you. Warm hugs and love.:)) Sandra xx
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Hugs back to you! xxx
Comment from Mistydawn
She found out what she wanted to know, set the trap. I hope she didn't put herself in harm's way. Your chapter is very well written, interesting from start to finish. Your characters are believable, really come to life. Like always, I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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She found out what she wanted to know, set the trap. I hope she didn't put herself in harm's way. Your chapter is very well written, interesting from start to finish. Your characters are believable, really come to life. Like always, I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you so very much, Misty, for this really lovely review and all the stars! It's lovely to know you are enjoying this book. I always appreciate you support, my friend. Warm hugs, :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Sandra, Reading this chapter I can see what I have been missing. I'm not on FS much lately but I read you at the beginning couple of chapters and liked the start of your story - thought it was a great opening for some chemistry between Tina and Grant. I may be wrong so I shall have to catch up to find out. This chapter is well written with great attention to small details that makes a story worth reading and, of course, the master of the cliff-hanger LOL - you have done it again. Warm wishes, love Dorothy xxx
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Hello Sandra, Reading this chapter I can see what I have been missing. I'm not on FS much lately but I read you at the beginning couple of chapters and liked the start of your story - thought it was a great opening for some chemistry between Tina and Grant. I may be wrong so I shall have to catch up to find out. This chapter is well written with great attention to small details that makes a story worth reading and, of course, the master of the cliff-hanger LOL - you have done it again. Warm wishes, love Dorothy xxx
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for reading this part, Dorothy, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Yes, the cliffhanger leads on to..... :)) You'll have to read to find out!! Lol. Thanks, my friend, I do really appreciate you coming along. Warm hugs and love, Sandra xxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
What a fantastic hook!!! I can't wait to find out what his plan is. I also hope Tania will be safe. I am not sure she will. Colin is a real jerk. At least Monica knows Tania is with him. Great job.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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What a fantastic hook!!! I can't wait to find out what his plan is. I also hope Tania will be safe. I am not sure she will. Colin is a real jerk. At least Monica knows Tania is with him. Great job.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Things will be changing, Barbara, let's hope Tania is up for it. Thank you so very much for this lovely review and all those shiny stars, my friend, I really appreciate them both. Warm hugs, :)) Sandra xx
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
This story chapter is so exciting and it just begs for more. The cliffhanger is perfect and left me wishing to read more. You have a winner on your hands!
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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This story chapter is so exciting and it just begs for more. The cliffhanger is perfect and left me wishing to read more. You have a winner on your hands!
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much, Rebecca, for this lovely review. I'm so pleased you liked the cliffhanger, he is desperate now. Thank you so very much for the six, my friend, I owe you!! Hugs, and love, Sandra xxx
Comment from Pantygynt
I felt the undercurrent of excitement in this episode and I desperately wanted to continue reading. I have literally just a couple of comments to make.
'A slight chill hung in the air. Tania glanced at the overcast sky and wondered if it might have been wiser to have worn a full-length coat.' The first sentence is tell and the rest is show. Do you need the tell? One kind reviewer of my latest chapter praised the way my weather was made apparent by its effect on the characters and I realised that I had accidentally got it right!
'This is it! 'Yes, of course I have.' Earlier you used the italics to do 'thinks' bit here you don't. I got rid of the italics prior to uploading mine to KDP because I don't like them and have never seen them in a British published book. But then you have to use indirect speech techniques such as 'he thought', 'he wondered' etc.
There were several other examples later on here is one of them:
'Well done! That was excellent. Monica would be so proud of me. Perhaps I should have been an actress.' That is all silent 'thinks' so how are you going to make that clear to the reader. It's a tough one, difficult to get round.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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I felt the undercurrent of excitement in this episode and I desperately wanted to continue reading. I have literally just a couple of comments to make.
'A slight chill hung in the air. Tania glanced at the overcast sky and wondered if it might have been wiser to have worn a full-length coat.' The first sentence is tell and the rest is show. Do you need the tell? One kind reviewer of my latest chapter praised the way my weather was made apparent by its effect on the characters and I realised that I had accidentally got it right!
'This is it! 'Yes, of course I have.' Earlier you used the italics to do 'thinks' bit here you don't. I got rid of the italics prior to uploading mine to KDP because I don't like them and have never seen them in a British published book. But then you have to use indirect speech techniques such as 'he thought', 'he wondered' etc.
There were several other examples later on here is one of them:
'Well done! That was excellent. Monica would be so proud of me. Perhaps I should have been an actress.' That is all silent 'thinks' so how are you going to make that clear to the reader. It's a tough one, difficult to get round.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thanks for picking that up. I forgot to change them to Italics. When I wrote my trilogy and copied and pasted over, the italics stayed. Now they don't. I always use advanced editor, and can't understand why it's not copying over as it's pasted. I'll go and sort those out. Thanks, Jim! :)) Sandra xx
Comment from BethShelby
I seem Colin thinks he's going to be able to get his hands on those plans. Tanya had the fact he is interested in them on her recording. It will be interesting to find out how he plans to get them from her. I'm glad she is over him and on to his tricks. Nicely written. I look forward to more.
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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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I seem Colin thinks he's going to be able to get his hands on those plans. Tanya had the fact he is interested in them on her recording. It will be interesting to find out how he plans to get them from her. I'm glad she is over him and on to his tricks. Nicely written. I look forward to more.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much, Beth, for this really lovely review. Tania will have to keep her wits about her, especially now he knows she has drawn the plans he wants to get hold of. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Chapter of the Fiction speaks generally, intensively, morally informative and psychologically balanced through taletelling and orderly plot development progressively, ended with a resolved forecasting; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
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reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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This Chapter of the Fiction speaks generally, intensively, morally informative and psychologically balanced through taletelling and orderly plot development progressively, ended with a resolved forecasting; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read this part, ALC, I really do appreciate your kind review. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, I'm already wanting to hang Colin up by his toes, and he hasn't even done anything yet. Of course, with his type, they work harder at conniving than the effort it would take to do the job. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Well, I'm already wanting to hang Colin up by his toes, and he hasn't even done anything yet. Of course, with his type, they work harder at conniving than the effort it would take to do the job. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2020
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2020
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Coloin shows his true colours soon, so stay tuned, Ric. You are such a love, my friend, thank you so much for the six stars! I really appreciate you and your lovely comments. Sending you another humongous hug. 😘 Sandra. xxx