Digital Collages
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "origami doves"An artful mix of poetic forms.
34 total reviews
Comment from elchupakabra
Simple, beautifully written, the aesthetic of the piece matches the flow and feel of the work itself. I really like this. Best of luck in the contest, thank you for sharing and later daze.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Simple, beautifully written, the aesthetic of the piece matches the flow and feel of the work itself. I really like this. Best of luck in the contest, thank you for sharing and later daze.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Your supportive review is truly appreciated. Thank you for reading this and sharing your thoughts. Stay safe and well!
Comment from Mark D. R.
Janet,
The creation and vision of the origami birds may be a savior to that bedridden child. Very nice overall presentation for this contest entry. Methinks it will tickle others.
Mark
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Janet,
The creation and vision of the origami birds may be a savior to that bedridden child. Very nice overall presentation for this contest entry. Methinks it will tickle others.
Mark
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Thank you greatly, mark. I'm glad you read this and commented. I enjoyed making the posting, too. Stay well, my friend!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
modern tanka format
origami doves
by Spangle
Hi
Hello, Janet,
Beautiful entry for the Tanka Poetry Contest. I like the juxtaposition and surprising ending... very sad. Invalid and wishing to fly like her paper doves. Excellent tanka. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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modern tanka format
origami doves
by Spangle
Hi
Hello, Janet,
Beautiful entry for the Tanka Poetry Contest. I like the juxtaposition and surprising ending... very sad. Invalid and wishing to fly like her paper doves. Excellent tanka. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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You have made my day shine delightfully, Gypsy. Thank you so much for your wonderful review and comments! xo Janet
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You're welcome :)
Comment from Susan Larson
I'm not sure how to react to this bedridden child. Are you familiar with the story about the little Japanese girl and the paper cranes? It's a sad one with which I had a personal experience. I wish you had given a little explanation about this little girl.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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I'm not sure how to react to this bedridden child. Are you familiar with the story about the little Japanese girl and the paper cranes? It's a sad one with which I had a personal experience. I wish you had given a little explanation about this little girl.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Thank you for reading and reviewing, Susan. I'm not familiar with that particular story, but I do know there is a Japanese tradition of folding 1,000 cranes in hopes that wishes will come true, or something similar to that. I chose doves for the origami because doves often represent the Holy Spirit and hope...especially at Christmastime. I have always been impressed by origami but have not done any myself. Truthfully, I originally had worded it HIS ceiling but changed it to THE ceiling so that the gender was open to the reader's imagination. Also the interpretation is not hinted at as to whether this is a sad-themed poem with the child being bedridden long term, or a happy themed one wherein the child is temporarily bedridden and being kept busy with the doves and smiling over seeing them hanging from the ceiling. This is one of the joys of the Japanese short forms in that they can often be perceived differently depending on the experiences of the reader.
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I?m so relieved the little girl isn?t on her death bed. The little Japanese girl had terminal cancer and wanted to make 1000 before she died. She only got to about 650 and her classmates folded the rest of them. When my son died of cancer a Japanese dried folded 1000 cranes and they are displayed in the cancer center where he was treated.
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I'm sorry to learn about your son. I used to be a hospice volunteer and I know the value of someone honoring the patient with a selfless and caring action like folding the cranes. I can imagine how beautiful the display must look.
Comment from Mastery
Wow, Janet. Is this a true story behind the poem? In any event the writing of the Tanka is very impressive. One is left wondering. Bless you, my friend. : ) Bob
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Wow, Janet. Is this a true story behind the poem? In any event the writing of the Tanka is very impressive. One is left wondering. Bless you, my friend. : ) Bob
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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I have known families with bedridden children and other people who excel at doing origami. The actual story here, however, is not about any particular child. One reader told me their children painted Christmas ornaments when they had to stay in bed. I love learning these little tidbits from readers. Thank you so much for reviewing, Bob. Smiles, Janet
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Good posting Janet. :) Bob
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
There is much sadness in these words Janet as a child patiently waits to get well whilst folding paper. There is a double meaning to your words here and the message is heartfelt, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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There is much sadness in these words Janet as a child patiently waits to get well whilst folding paper. There is a double meaning to your words here and the message is heartfelt, love Dolly x
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Love your review, Dolly. Thank you greatly! xo Janet
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written sad and heartfelt Tanka about the origami doves folded by a bed ridden child that keeps golfing them after some are framed already.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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A very well-written sad and heartfelt Tanka about the origami doves folded by a bed ridden child that keeps golfing them after some are framed already.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Thank you for reviewing, Sandra. I appreciate it very much. Hope your day is full of blessings!
Comment from oliver818
I think there might be a problem with your poem
As there don't seem to be any words. I'm Guessing the background and the words are the same color which is why it can up like that.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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I think there might be a problem with your poem
As there don't seem to be any words. I'm Guessing the background and the words are the same color which is why it can up like that.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Thank you for responding to this even though you are not seeing it the way it should be...are you looking at it on a cell phone? It looks perfectly right on my computer and those of other members. I'm wondering if you might have cataracts...before surgery on both of my eyes, colors didn't look the way they really were. (It was the best surgery I have ever had.) Here is what the words say; again, I appreciate your comments very much:
origami doves
hang from the ceiling
painted sky blue
our bedridden child
folds another one
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Yeah I?m reading on a cellphone which might be why it?s not coming up. I just hate to think of your poem sitting there without reviews and you not knowing why. Thanks for showing me, it?s really nice. I like the image of a child in bed making origami doves, it?s so simple yet touching.
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I'm glad it worked out well...and that you don't need eye surgery. lol
Comment from Carlos' girl
Oh, nice poem.
Really sweet.
The blue paper doves made by the bedridden child...aaw.
I remember painting an entire set of Christmas ornaments when I was in bed sick as a child.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Oh, nice poem.
Really sweet.
The blue paper doves made by the bedridden child...aaw.
I remember painting an entire set of Christmas ornaments when I was in bed sick as a child.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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I love that you mentioned painting those ornaments as a child. I can really imagine you doing it and having the time pass quicker. Writing is a big healing activity for me, although I'm not yet bedridden. At seventy six, I am positive I will always have a laptop nearby if I will no longer be able to get around very much. Thank you greatly for all the pretty stars!
Comment from Debra White
Hello Spangle :)
The imagery in your tanka is tangible.
It has touched me and left me wondering about the child...
Beautiful and so pleasingly presented also.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes, Debra :)
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Hello Spangle :)
The imagery in your tanka is tangible.
It has touched me and left me wondering about the child...
Beautiful and so pleasingly presented also.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment Written 27-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2020
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Thank you very much, Debra. This is actually a fantasy situation, but I can imagine it being a reality somewhere for anyone who is confined for a long period of time. I'm truly happy that you responded so beautifully to this posting. Smiles, Janet