Chip's Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Don't Need Love."FanStory Collection
28 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
If only we could all escape shame and regret. Your poem is an excellent contest entry and the picture perfectly illustrates it. You should do very well in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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If only we could all escape shame and regret. Your poem is an excellent contest entry and the picture perfectly illustrates it. You should do very well in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Many thanks, Thomas!
Comment from karenina
Perfect 2-4-6-8-2 syllable count. I've always thought a Cinquain presents so well when center aligned on a page. Your image fits hand in glove with your poem's sentiment. Perhaps the best kind of freedom is obtained by being loved unconditionally!--Karenina
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Perfect 2-4-6-8-2 syllable count. I've always thought a Cinquain presents so well when center aligned on a page. Your image fits hand in glove with your poem's sentiment. Perhaps the best kind of freedom is obtained by being loved unconditionally!--Karenina
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Karenina!
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My pleasure!--Karenina
Comment from Cindy Warren
That makes me kind of sad. Lack of passion may be fatal, but I want my lover and best friend to be the same person. I must be getting old. lol Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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That makes me kind of sad. Lack of passion may be fatal, but I want my lover and best friend to be the same person. I must be getting old. lol Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2019
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Hi Cindy- I think you and the woman want the same thing, but she is expressing a repressed desire to be desired. The cemetery might imply a recently deceased (possibly philandering) spouse, with whom she shared a dull, dutiful, and dispassionate life. While she was a loving best friend, her husband may have taken his passion elsewhere.
Comment from Supe
I am very unfamiliar with this type of poetry so I certainly couldn't have done it. I love the picture and think it complements perfectly the words you have written in this contest entry. You said it all. Good luck with the contest. #23 in the rankings is great.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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I am very unfamiliar with this type of poetry so I certainly couldn't have done it. I love the picture and think it complements perfectly the words you have written in this contest entry. You said it all. Good luck with the contest. #23 in the rankings is great.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you, Supe!
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Thank you, Supe!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Cinquain about a nameless lover that is invited to take you to an update known place where no regrets or shame is allowed to set you free.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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A very well-written Cinquain about a nameless lover that is invited to take you to an update known place where no regrets or shame is allowed to set you free.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Sandra.
Comment from GE Parson
I do not know what to say about this poem. It does not rhyme, and ends rather strange "Me" Sounds like some one is horny and doesn't care who brings her to the big "O". I gave this whatever it is, a 4 rating, but even that might be too high.
G. E. Pardon
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reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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I do not know what to say about this poem. It does not rhyme, and ends rather strange "Me" Sounds like some one is horny and doesn't care who brings her to the big "O". I gave this whatever it is, a 4 rating, but even that might be too high.
G. E. Pardon
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Sorry you found it so unappealing, different strokes and all. It isn't necessarily a literal, sexual need the woman has, but for some unknown reason has been living a dispassionate existence and wants adventure or fulfillment or something other than what she has. Maybe the setting infers a lost loved one with whom she shared love but not passion. (not together, anyway...possibly a philandering husband).
For what it's worth, I walk past poems I don't understand or enjoy;^)
(per the contest: "A cinquain is a short and usually unrhymed poem.")
Best,
CK
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Hi CK, And I do also, but felt like a poem like this called for a righteous response.
How about this for a "cinquain"
I knew a Preacher
who had large pulpit bumper.
He ate too much ice cream
and drank too many Coke Cola
So his church board gave him
a choice: lose your bumper
or go without supper.
I couldn't help but to rhyme
that last line
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
A thought-provoking poem, saying a lot in a few words.
I'm really not familiar with schematic type. It seems to fit the prompt.criterie. .
Don
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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A thought-provoking poem, saying a lot in a few words.
I'm really not familiar with schematic type. It seems to fit the prompt.criterie. .
Don
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thanks, Donald.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Nice picture:) as in image but also as in your cinquain poem. The poem has depth and a certain eerie feeling that creeps out from "someplace raw and real" that leaves you with no regret. Good Luck with your writing and the contest.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Nice picture:) as in image but also as in your cinquain poem. The poem has depth and a certain eerie feeling that creeps out from "someplace raw and real" that leaves you with no regret. Good Luck with your writing and the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2019
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Thank you, Iza!
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:)