Blended Reality
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Green Machine"A collection of stories: Some True, some not
35 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
I can certainly relate to this, although female. I have always enjoyed a sweet ride. This is a great entry for the contest and a great loss, but nothing compared to your wife and daughter.
Sending you my best today, and for the contest, mystery writer.
Sally Law :+)
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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I can certainly relate to this, although female. I have always enjoyed a sweet ride. This is a great entry for the contest and a great loss, but nothing compared to your wife and daughter.
Sending you my best today, and for the contest, mystery writer.
Sally Law :+)
Comment Written 24-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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My sincere thanks and appreciation for your comments.
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You are so welcome!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I had a lovely red MGB and had so much fun in it, but then I fell pregnant and my husband swapped my car for a 'sensible family car' Hmm. I can so relate to your story. I fell in love with my son the moment he started moving around in me, so all in all, a good swap! I'm glad you had some nice times with yours as well. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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I had a lovely red MGB and had so much fun in it, but then I fell pregnant and my husband swapped my car for a 'sensible family car' Hmm. I can so relate to your story. I fell in love with my son the moment he started moving around in me, so all in all, a good swap! I'm glad you had some nice times with yours as well. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 24-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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My greatest thank you for reading and commenting
Comment from Bonjour Patita
Dear Anon,
It is awful when we remember that 'special car.' All too often, the story ends with - but I had to trade it in when the baby came. You managed to use the 300 words well. We could feel the emotions when you first saw the car of your dreams.
The last line says it all. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Dear Anon,
It is awful when we remember that 'special car.' All too often, the story ends with - but I had to trade it in when the baby came. You managed to use the 300 words well. We could feel the emotions when you first saw the car of your dreams.
The last line says it all. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your time and commmertns.
Comment from Lobber
Hi
Lucky for those of us who have had a "free machine" - mine was a gift from my father on my 16th birthday- it was a white small Italian fiat Abarth sports car. It was a stick shift and oh so hot. Thanks for sharing. - Lobber
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Hi
Lucky for those of us who have had a "free machine" - mine was a gift from my father on my 16th birthday- it was a white small Italian fiat Abarth sports car. It was a stick shift and oh so hot. Thanks for sharing. - Lobber
Comment Written 24-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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I love the Fiat...so smooth cornering...
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Friend,
You have tried your best to present it as a worth enjoying story.
02 suggestions: 1, Please see the 1st paragraph: "...June 23rd, 1970, it was a Tuesday, ..." [ There is no need of 'a' here.]
2, Last but one paragraph: "...made your mouth water,.." isn't suitable at all.
It's my opinion, and hope you won't mind.
Good Luck!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Hello Friend,
You have tried your best to present it as a worth enjoying story.
02 suggestions: 1, Please see the 1st paragraph: "...June 23rd, 1970, it was a Tuesday, ..." [ There is no need of 'a' here.]
2, Last but one paragraph: "...made your mouth water,.." isn't suitable at all.
It's my opinion, and hope you won't mind.
Good Luck!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Thank you for your comments I made some concessions.
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Friend, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
it's funny how cars can have that effect on folk. Just one look is all it takes. lol
It may be an idea to identify the car's make in the story. You still have four or five words to play with.
and a high school buddy, Chuck came by - perhaps a comma after Chuck here as well.
and said, hey "let's go down to the Dodge dealer, I need to get my tires balanced and rotated.- hey should probably be inside the speech marks. Also you need closing speech marks after rotated.
It's normally a good idea not to roll one person's dialogue into another's.
Needless to say, " I didn't go home with old Chuck".- this doesn't need to be in speech marks, it isn't really dialogue.
All the best
GMG
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Hi there,
it's funny how cars can have that effect on folk. Just one look is all it takes. lol
It may be an idea to identify the car's make in the story. You still have four or five words to play with.
and a high school buddy, Chuck came by - perhaps a comma after Chuck here as well.
and said, hey "let's go down to the Dodge dealer, I need to get my tires balanced and rotated.- hey should probably be inside the speech marks. Also you need closing speech marks after rotated.
It's normally a good idea not to roll one person's dialogue into another's.
Needless to say, " I didn't go home with old Chuck".- this doesn't need to be in speech marks, it isn't really dialogue.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Thank you I will revisit.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I love the easy flow of your writing. It is as if you are sitting beside me telling a story.
I enjoyed the 1st paragraph because you provided ample information for me to picture a time frame and to know that you were a military man returning home from civilian life.
I could feel your excitement in the next to the last paragraph as you explained all the exquisite details of your dream car.
A very good ending paragraph.
This is a great contest entry!!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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I love the easy flow of your writing. It is as if you are sitting beside me telling a story.
I enjoyed the 1st paragraph because you provided ample information for me to picture a time frame and to know that you were a military man returning home from civilian life.
I could feel your excitement in the next to the last paragraph as you explained all the exquisite details of your dream car.
A very good ending paragraph.
This is a great contest entry!!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Brenda Henderson
Wow what an awesome tribute to a classic automobile! I remember my first car but I don't think that I have ever felt like that about a vehicle. You must have some awesome recollections about that vehicle. This might be a great start for a blog! As Chuck Berry might have begun: "Riding Along in My Automobile..." I'm sure you can take it from there! Just A Thought! Good Luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Wow what an awesome tribute to a classic automobile! I remember my first car but I don't think that I have ever felt like that about a vehicle. You must have some awesome recollections about that vehicle. This might be a great start for a blog! As Chuck Berry might have begun: "Riding Along in My Automobile..." I'm sure you can take it from there! Just A Thought! Good Luck in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2019
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Thank you
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You're welcome!
Comment from juliaSjames
I enjoyed reading this love story. Vivid description of the green rocket on wheels that took your fancy is the core of your write. I'm happy automobile love stood the test of time.
Good luck in the contest.
Blessings Julia
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed reading this love story. Vivid description of the green rocket on wheels that took your fancy is the core of your write. I'm happy automobile love stood the test of time.
Good luck in the contest.
Blessings Julia
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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Thank you...
Comment from tfawcus
She sounds as though she was a real beauty. There are some cars like that, that capture your heart at first sight. I wonder how long you had her for?
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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She sounds as though she was a real beauty. There are some cars like that, that capture your heart at first sight. I wonder how long you had her for?
Comment Written 23-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
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She was with me for five lovely years but then we had our first born and Therein lies another story..:)