Surrender Not The Light
Giving the poetry form 'the zejel' a try...37 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a fantastic response to the new style for you, YM. Your presentation is beautiful--the color scheme, the image, the great flow with awesome rhymes, and the overall final presentation. Thanks for the notes, too. Thanks for sharing a wonderful example. Jan
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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This is a fantastic response to the new style for you, YM. Your presentation is beautiful--the color scheme, the image, the great flow with awesome rhymes, and the overall final presentation. Thanks for the notes, too. Thanks for sharing a wonderful example. Jan
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Again, Jan, I am so very honored that you really enjoyed this one -- thank you so very much for your encouraging comments and, especially, for picking up the form and passing it along! ;) Be sure to let me know how things go and if I should be on the lookout for others! Welcome to the 'zejel zone'! ;) ;) Take care, ma'am! ;) Yvette
Comment from Sally Law
I absolutely love this poem. I feel like I could just step into this picture and float away into the moonlight. Wonderfully penned and illustrated.
Sending my best to you today along with a six star rating.
Sally xo
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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I absolutely love this poem. I feel like I could just step into this picture and float away into the moonlight. Wonderfully penned and illustrated.
Sending my best to you today along with a six star rating.
Sally xo
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Thanx so much, Lady Sal -- those stars have the sun shining bright over here this morning! ;) ;) And I'm glad my zejel experiment resonated with you -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) The great thing was that, even though there's a syllable-requirement, there's not the "ta-tum, ta-tum" thing that I can never, EVER seem to get right!! :) ;) LOL! Just line up the rhymes and count and there it is!! ;) Take care out there and I'd love to see your hand at it! ;) ;) Yvette
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I will have to study this new form a bit, but I love to try new things and will give it a whirl. Thanks, again. Sal :+)
Comment from aryr
From reading your narrative notes Yvette, I would safely say that you did indeed capture the essence of the zejel as well as the beauty of the stars. Great job, well done.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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From reading your narrative notes Yvette, I would safely say that you did indeed capture the essence of the zejel as well as the beauty of the stars. Great job, well done.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Ali -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Thanx for your encouraging comments -- have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)
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You are most welcome Yvette, I enjoyed it.
Comment from June Sargent
I love this ancient format! And the metaphor is clear when you've used such great imagery- flowers bowing their heads in prayer, waiting for illumination from the stars. Just lovely!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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I love this ancient format! And the metaphor is clear when you've used such great imagery- flowers bowing their heads in prayer, waiting for illumination from the stars. Just lovely!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Oh, I'm so glad to have tickled your fancy with the zejel format, June -- those stars have the sun shining bright over here this morning! ;) ;) You know, I ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Take care over there and I'd love to see your hand at it (let me know)! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from tfawcus
This is an interesting old poetic form executed with panache. The rhythm is consistent and enhanced by the frequent alliteration and sibilance. The rhyming shows no sign of being forced. The turning point in the second quatrain (Yet, hear the whispers on the breeze) gives something of the flavour of a sonnet to your poem. Enjoyed.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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This is an interesting old poetic form executed with panache. The rhythm is consistent and enhanced by the frequent alliteration and sibilance. The rhyming shows no sign of being forced. The turning point in the second quatrain (Yet, hear the whispers on the breeze) gives something of the flavour of a sonnet to your poem. Enjoyed.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Tony -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Thanx for your encouraging comments -- have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Zejel poem about not to surrender even when it seems there are no way to see better days ever again. Keep the faith in our hearts and live with hope.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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A very well-written Zejel poem about not to surrender even when it seems there are no way to see better days ever again. Keep the faith in our hearts and live with hope.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, Sandra -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Take care over there and I'd love to see your hand at it! ;) ;) Yvette :)
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I will give it a try some day, I did save the notes. At the moment there are other things that occupy my mind.
Comment from Carla Trinklein
This is beautiful! Can't believe it's a first "attempt", but then, poetry is poetry and there is no doubt you know your way around poetry. "One light to lead them will arise, it's beams lend strength to starry skies." What a lovely way to describe the moon! My daughter's favorite bedtime story when she was tiny was "Goodnight Moon", and she's never lost her fascination for the moon. A year ago she attended Space Camp. You have nailed the "Zejel."
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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This is beautiful! Can't believe it's a first "attempt", but then, poetry is poetry and there is no doubt you know your way around poetry. "One light to lead them will arise, it's beams lend strength to starry skies." What a lovely way to describe the moon! My daughter's favorite bedtime story when she was tiny was "Goodnight Moon", and she's never lost her fascination for the moon. A year ago she attended Space Camp. You have nailed the "Zejel."
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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(She blushes) I do believe, Carla, you have me confused with the real poets around here, but I am so very honored by your words!! ;) ;) And I'm so very glad your enjoyed my zejel -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) The great thing was that even though there's a syllable-requirement there's not the "ta-tum, ta-tum" thing that I can never, EVER seem to get right!! :) ;) LOL! Just line up the rhymes and count and there it is!! ;)
And I still have the boys' copy of Goodnight Moon...it is the second as somewhere between the 2nd and the 3rd son, it got torn (board books!) .... they all loved it!! ;) And my first job right out of college was at Space Camp: started out as a group lead and moved up to Assistant Director for the High School program there -- if it would have paid more, I might have even stayed - LOL! ;) ;)
Would love to see your hand at this form, Carla -- hope the summer's going well for you and that you are keeping those folks in line out there! ;) :) Yvette
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I will definitely have to try more poetry forms... and this one looks like a good place to start. I?m just a bit overwhelmed right now...when we won the battle to keep our dual language program at the kindergarten level next year, I got assigned the job of teaching some classes in Spanish next year. I?ve done it before, but it?s been years. I have boning up to do. My daughter would love to meet you, with your space camp and rocket science background-as would my brother, who?s also a space buff and dabbles in space photography, for want of a better term.
Comment from kahpot
What a wonderful read, after reading it and then your notes and then went back and fourth, I would love to learn this form, as this one reads beautifully, the lines of each stanza seems to end or close that stanza, very intriguing, very well done, I have written the format down, many thanks****kahpot
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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What a wonderful read, after reading it and then your notes and then went back and fourth, I would love to learn this form, as this one reads beautifully, the lines of each stanza seems to end or close that stanza, very intriguing, very well done, I have written the format down, many thanks****kahpot
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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So glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment, kahpot -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Thanx for your encouraging comments and I would really love your try at this one!! :) You be sure to have a great week! ;) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a fabulous write Yvette! I loved your rich metaphors that gave your poem life, an ambient and soulful write and it so deserves a six. I do have a few suggestions for you below, love Dolly x
"tis daylight's fate that night (will) fall..."
"Behold, the darkness (can) capsize"
"as sheen from heaven lights us all!"
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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This is a fabulous write Yvette! I loved your rich metaphors that gave your poem life, an ambient and soulful write and it so deserves a six. I do have a few suggestions for you below, love Dolly x
"tis daylight's fate that night (will) fall..."
"Behold, the darkness (can) capsize"
"as sheen from heaven lights us all!"
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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I cannot tell you what those stars from you mean to me, Dolly -- thank you for the honor!! ;) ;) Glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) I'm betting you could really make this form sing, Beautiful Bard!! :) ;) Thanx again for the review and the wonderful suggestions, ma'am -- Take care over there! ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Fantastic poem, Yvette! You did a terrific job finding rhyming words that fit this form perfectly. Nothing seems out of place. "Breeze", "Pleiades", and "these" are great examples, among others. The flow is smoooth and without stumbles. Bravo! :)
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Fantastic poem, Yvette! You did a terrific job finding rhyming words that fit this form perfectly. Nothing seems out of place. "Breeze", "Pleiades", and "these" are great examples, among others. The flow is smoooth and without stumbles. Bravo! :)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2019
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Well, Phyllis, you have certainly made my morning with those stars - thank you! ;) ;) I'm glad you enjoyed my zejel experiment -- ran across the form when I was doing a little reading and thought I'd give it a try! :) Thanx so much for your support, ma'am, and be sure to take care of you out there! ;) ;) Yvette