Mamaragan
An exercise with slant rhyme used for a purpose (see note)42 total reviews
Comment from WryWriter
Quatrain ABAB. As stated there is a marked change in rhyme in the fifth stanza. I like this method of setting the tone of the poem. I also like the author notes with the history of the Australian Aboriginal myth. I really liked this stanza:
A stronger gust soon sets the leaves to dance.
They tug, as does the puppy on his leash
when winds hold tempting scents to make him prance.
They're like impatient children who beseech
Good artwork...fascinating to look at. Goes well with theme.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Quatrain ABAB. As stated there is a marked change in rhyme in the fifth stanza. I like this method of setting the tone of the poem. I also like the author notes with the history of the Australian Aboriginal myth. I really liked this stanza:
A stronger gust soon sets the leaves to dance.
They tug, as does the puppy on his leash
when winds hold tempting scents to make him prance.
They're like impatient children who beseech
Good artwork...fascinating to look at. Goes well with theme.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Very many thanks for your kind words, WryWriter. Much appreciated. Tony
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem with slant rhymes. When life goes tumbling down we cannot be in perfect line. There is always a way around when we can't have perfection all in one.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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A very well-written poem with slant rhymes. When life goes tumbling down we cannot be in perfect line. There is always a way around when we can't have perfection all in one.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Many thanks for your review and comments, Sandra. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
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Many thanks for your review and comments, Sandra. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony.
Comment from country ranch writer
Hum never herd of this before this one is an angry one and does his best to tick everyone off I think to his satisfaction.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Hum never herd of this before this one is an angry one and does his best to tick everyone off I think to his satisfaction.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thanks for reading and for your comments. Appreciated. Tony.
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smiles
Comment from Tootsie55
This was great. Will come back and listen to the sound file later. I loved the picture included in this as well. Just one possible spag for you to consider [t](T?)heir grandpa to relent
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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This was great. Will come back and listen to the sound file later. I loved the picture included in this as well. Just one possible spag for you to consider [t](T?)heir grandpa to relent
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thanks - Word added a few capital letters at the beginning of lines. All fixed now.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Great job on this, Tony. I really enjoyed listening to the sound file for this poem. The intonation of your voice really added something special to the presentation.
"The wind with nostrils flared, kicks off its trace" ... my favorite line.
Excellent pairing of picture and poem, and a most original premise for a write. I enjoyed reading this, Tony.
Cheers,
Connie
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Great job on this, Tony. I really enjoyed listening to the sound file for this poem. The intonation of your voice really added something special to the presentation.
"The wind with nostrils flared, kicks off its trace" ... my favorite line.
Excellent pairing of picture and poem, and a most original premise for a write. I enjoyed reading this, Tony.
Cheers,
Connie
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Many thanks for these kind comments, Connie. Appreciated. Tony.
Comment from Gloria ....
This is truly amazing, Tony. Slant rhymes are just the thing sometimes to take away the "rigid" feel of a strict rhyme.
Plus it was a big bonus to hear you reading. You read poetry very well.
Absolute delight to read and review this.
Gloria
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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This is truly amazing, Tony. Slant rhymes are just the thing sometimes to take away the "rigid" feel of a strict rhyme.
Plus it was a big bonus to hear you reading. You read poetry very well.
Absolute delight to read and review this.
Gloria
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Many thanks for these kind comments, Gloria. Appreciated. I?m always a bit diffident about adding sound files. One?s own voice is unexpectedly awful on playback! Tony.
Comment from Sugarray77
Well done, Tony. I am unused to reading slant rhymes and see it is a good tool to use as you said... when things are not as they should be. I enjoyed reading this and will look back to study it again.
Melissa
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Well done, Tony. I am unused to reading slant rhymes and see it is a good tool to use as you said... when things are not as they should be. I enjoyed reading this and will look back to study it again.
Melissa
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Many thanks for these kind comments, Melissa. Appreciated. Tony.
Comment from BeasPeas
Tony, this is such a wonderful piece and with your reading it and following along as you do, it's the icing on the cake. Great job all the way through. A virtual six for you. Marilyn
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Tony, this is such a wonderful piece and with your reading it and following along as you do, it's the icing on the cake. Great job all the way through. A virtual six for you. Marilyn
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Many thanks for these kind comments, Marilyn. Appreciated. Tony.
Comment from lyenochka
Just fabulous and worthy of a six, Tony! Thank you for recording your reading which helps us to hear your rhymes and slant rhymes. I like your explanation of when to use them. And thank you for sharing about the aboriginal lightning god. It all worked beautifully to personify the storm.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Just fabulous and worthy of a six, Tony! Thank you for recording your reading which helps us to hear your rhymes and slant rhymes. I like your explanation of when to use them. And thank you for sharing about the aboriginal lightning god. It all worked beautifully to personify the storm.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Many thanks for these kind comments, Helen. Appreciated. Thanks, too, for your most generous gift of a Members Cents Pump. Tony.
Comment from Cindy Warren
Things did go wrong for the poor old tree, didn't they? I felt bad for it. I'm sure it had beaten many storms in its lifetime, but that lightning bolt was too much for it. The slant rhyme usually doesn't work too well, but you make it work here. Nice job.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Things did go wrong for the poor old tree, didn't they? I felt bad for it. I'm sure it had beaten many storms in its lifetime, but that lightning bolt was too much for it. The slant rhyme usually doesn't work too well, but you make it work here. Nice job.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2019
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Thanks, Cindy. I appreciate your kind comments. We've had one or two trees down in storms this year. Some wild weather. All the best, Tony