St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "St. Louis Chapter 1 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
42 total reviews
Comment from Rhonda Skinner
Well-written chapter. I love that there's a dog as a character.
Just noticed one comma splice. Should start a new sentence (He stood with....)
the taxi parked and waited for Logan to enter, he stood with one foot inside the car
I'm looking forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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Well-written chapter. I love that there's a dog as a character.
Just noticed one comma splice. Should start a new sentence (He stood with....)
the taxi parked and waited for Logan to enter, he stood with one foot inside the car
I'm looking forward to reading more.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2019
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I will fix that area. Thank you for the catch and the review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
"Great(,)... (add comma)
*grin* I knew it! "Mac". LOVE it!
(Yes, you have made an ass of yourself, Logan.*lol*)
Barbara, the question mark after the statement -- did you intend it? "I believe the stats..." It's really not a question, but one or two words added could make it one. Example: "I believe the stats show a lot of ... (, yes)?"
You have Logan's character developing beautifully already -- Mac's too.
OH!!! Great conclusion to this--leads compellingly!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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"Great(,)... (add comma)
*grin* I knew it! "Mac". LOVE it!
(Yes, you have made an ass of yourself, Logan.*lol*)
Barbara, the question mark after the statement -- did you intend it? "I believe the stats..." It's really not a question, but one or two words added could make it one. Example: "I believe the stats show a lot of ... (, yes)?"
You have Logan's character developing beautifully already -- Mac's too.
OH!!! Great conclusion to this--leads compellingly!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Sorry it's taken so long to answer this. I needed time to make the corrections without making bigger mistakes. LOL I appreciate the help.
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Never worry about being late to answer ME -- I'm TERRIBLE at it.So many go unanswered, it's a crying shame! Seems there is just not enough hours in a day! You're very welcome.
Comment from seaglass
Great start. We have a picture of the two main characters, though I'm sure you'll describe them in more detail as you write alone. we already can sense a little bit of the tension between them that could lead to either romance or conflict. I will be following.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Great start. We have a picture of the two main characters, though I'm sure you'll describe them in more detail as you write alone. we already can sense a little bit of the tension between them that could lead to either romance or conflict. I will be following.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sasha
YOu have captured my full attention with this chapter an I, like others, want to know what part the dog will play in this mystery. I enjoyed this chapter very much and anxiously look forward to reading the next one.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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YOu have captured my full attention with this chapter an I, like others, want to know what part the dog will play in this mystery. I enjoyed this chapter very much and anxiously look forward to reading the next one.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Dogs always play a role in my stories. LOL Thank you.
Comment from Stephanie Launiu
Great chapter. Well-written. You've included lots of details that are carrying the story along. And in your dialogue, you are developing the character of Mac Morgan. Can't wait to read where the purple Dodge coupe is headed. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Great chapter. Well-written. You've included lots of details that are carrying the story along. And in your dialogue, you are developing the character of Mac Morgan. Can't wait to read where the purple Dodge coupe is headed. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Shirley McLain
You got my attention and I am ready for more. I want to find out what happens between Arlo and Mac and of course "who done it." I did not find any spag and the storyline is fast moving and makes you want more.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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You got my attention and I am ready for more. I want to find out what happens between Arlo and Mac and of course "who done it." I did not find any spag and the storyline is fast moving and makes you want more.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Barb
= Oh, I do love the pix. Must be my Pepperoni's cousin.
= I must say, I've been outside working when she gets to barking--no way would one think her bark is from a small dog!
= I'm so pleased to get in on the start of this new novel.
= It is definitely beginning out with some good mystery.
= Nicely penned, my friend.
Cheers, J (*<*)
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Hi, Barb
= Oh, I do love the pix. Must be my Pepperoni's cousin.
= I must say, I've been outside working when she gets to barking--no way would one think her bark is from a small dog!
= I'm so pleased to get in on the start of this new novel.
= It is definitely beginning out with some good mystery.
= Nicely penned, my friend.
Cheers, J (*<*)
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review. I hope you stay around.
Comment from Tootsie55
Great start to a new story. I am glad you had something to follow up on the great story you already did. You never disappo8int. Hope you will check out Louise's trip stories if you have not already.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Great start to a new story. I am glad you had something to follow up on the great story you already did. You never disappo8int. Hope you will check out Louise's trip stories if you have not already.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from LovnPeace
Well done. I love the prospect of this story so far. Well, I love mysteries period. I admire the writers of it. I will stay tuned. Cute picture and I love dogs also. Blessings, Barbara
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Well done. I love the prospect of this story so far. Well, I love mysteries period. I admire the writers of it. I will stay tuned. Cute picture and I love dogs also. Blessings, Barbara
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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All of my books seem to have dogs in them. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, you've made a great start on your new book and I'm glad there's a dog in it as well. Yes, why do so many men believe that we women can't do what they can? I'm looking forward to reading on. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Hi Barbara, you've made a great start on your new book and I'm glad there's a dog in it as well. Yes, why do so many men believe that we women can't do what they can? I'm looking forward to reading on. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 10-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
