The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "A Chance Meeting"A Novel
31 total reviews
Comment from Rob Caudle
Tony I must remember to save a six next week for your fine work here this is indeed the best work being done on this site truly worthy of an agent and publisher. You have your chatters down spot on. I can't wait to read the next bit. Put me on a mailing list so I can purchase this once it is published.
Rob
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
  |
Tony I must remember to save a six next week for your fine work here this is indeed the best work being done on this site truly worthy of an agent and publisher. You have your chatters down spot on. I can't wait to read the next bit. Put me on a mailing list so I can purchase this once it is published.
Rob
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
-
Many thanks for your most complimentary review, Storyman. Appreciated. If the book ever gets published, I'll let you know! Best wishes, Tony
-
Actually I am Rob caudle not storyman dont want to miss the notification
Rob
-
Sorry, Rob. An unforgivable disconnection between my brain and the keyboard.
Comment from WryWriter
Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! A fantastic reading experience. Only one suggestion:
I'd give this a mysterious pause:
Yet(...)I couldn't afford to ignore a possible lead.
Can't wait for another chapter! Enjoyed tremendously!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
 |
Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! A fantastic reading experience. Only one suggestion:
I'd give this a mysterious pause:
Yet(...)I couldn't afford to ignore a possible lead.
Can't wait for another chapter! Enjoyed tremendously!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
-
Many thanks for your review, WryWriter, and for supplying the missing comma. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pantygynt
Another branch of the intrigue. It is going to be difficult to keep all these threads alive and kicking. Ienjoyed the meal by proxy mind.
Sorry about this but:
'opening conversational gambit.' - This tautology is one of my hobby horses I am afraid. A gambit is an opening move so 'opening' is superfluous.
Something alerted me about the name 'Louis Arnoux'. It was a name I believe I had heard before but couldn't place the context - Google could:
'Louis is the catalyst and main author for the Cool Planet entrepreneurial collective...' There are eleven of them on facebook apparently. The name also belonged to a deceased French Painter, which might account for it ringing a bell. Just a thought that an early name change might be a safe option.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
|
Another branch of the intrigue. It is going to be difficult to keep all these threads alive and kicking. Ienjoyed the meal by proxy mind.
Sorry about this but:
'opening conversational gambit.' - This tautology is one of my hobby horses I am afraid. A gambit is an opening move so 'opening' is superfluous.
Something alerted me about the name 'Louis Arnoux'. It was a name I believe I had heard before but couldn't place the context - Google could:
'Louis is the catalyst and main author for the Cool Planet entrepreneurial collective...' There are eleven of them on facebook apparently. The name also belonged to a deceased French Painter, which might account for it ringing a bell. Just a thought that an early name change might be a safe option.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
-
It's not easy to find names that haven't already been taken by someone else - hence the disclaimer in the front of fiction books. However, I take your point that it's best to avoid well-known names that might have a secondary connotation for the reader. Although I'd never heard of Louis Arnoux, I've followed your advice on this, and changed his name to Gaspard Arnoux, which doesn't seem to come up on a Google search.
I've also removed the 'opening' from 'gambit'. Others that jar with me include 'a moment in time', 'free gift', 'forward planning' and 'past history'.
-
Don't forget going forward and ... So. Have you noticed how often people on radio start with... so? Gerrard.
Comment from robyn corum
Tony,
I'm like you, this guy sounds a bit too, too, to be real. I think he's been reading too many novels, myself. *smile* I think a BIT of that stuff sprinkled in might pass, but, really?? Do the upper crust actually talk like that??? haha
Glad I don't know for myself. No thank you. Nicely done. I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
|
Tony,
I'm like you, this guy sounds a bit too, too, to be real. I think he's been reading too many novels, myself. *smile* I think a BIT of that stuff sprinkled in might pass, but, really?? Do the upper crust actually talk like that??? haha
Glad I don't know for myself. No thank you. Nicely done. I enjoyed!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
-
Thanks, Robyn. I don't know much about him yet, but I have a suspicion that Sir David may turn out to be a rogue. I could be wrong, of course! Yes, I have come across people who talk this way, though perhaps my version is a bit of a parody!
Comment from apky
You did a magnificent character study of the old boy, Tony. I could hear his five plums in the mouth loud and clear.
>I weighed my words carefully, for any interest I might have was counterbalanced by my suspicions about this chance meeting. What was there to trust about this unlikely knight with a plum in his cheek, who appeared to be offering me some shady deal?<
Brilliant, yet I'm out of sixes this late in the week.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
|
You did a magnificent character study of the old boy, Tony. I could hear his five plums in the mouth loud and clear.
>I weighed my words carefully, for any interest I might have was counterbalanced by my suspicions about this chance meeting. What was there to trust about this unlikely knight with a plum in his cheek, who appeared to be offering me some shady deal?<
Brilliant, yet I'm out of sixes this late in the week.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
-
Thanks, Aki. I don't know much about him yet, but I have a suspicion that Sir David may turn out to be a rogue. I could be wrong, of course! Thank you for your kind remarks about the character development. All the best, Tony
Comment from estory
The story is complicated by another connection to Lautrec which Charles seems about to pursue. The dialogue is tense, a bit awkward as you have Charles first asserting his aversion to the upper class and declaring he would rather travel in the cattle class, but then castigating Sir David for insinuating he is poor. You can't quite be both. But the colorful personalities of the characters come through in the dialect of the dialogue pretty well. estory
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
|
The story is complicated by another connection to Lautrec which Charles seems about to pursue. The dialogue is tense, a bit awkward as you have Charles first asserting his aversion to the upper class and declaring he would rather travel in the cattle class, but then castigating Sir David for insinuating he is poor. You can't quite be both. But the colorful personalities of the characters come through in the dialect of the dialogue pretty well. estory
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
-
Thanks for your comments, estory. There are complex layers to the class structure in England, some of which exist to this day. Wealth is not necessarily an indicator of position. I didn't intend Charles to come across as being averse to the upper classes, more to behaviour that is out of synch with position. Discussion of money is almost invariably looked down upon.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Tony this is excellent. First Charles is bored out of his head but the Brockenhurst piques his interest with the mention of Arnoux. There might me a connection to the letter. Furthermore, Brockenhurst appears to propose a somewhat shady deal. You really capture the upper class jargon very well. I love this story. No six left. All best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
|
Hi Tony this is excellent. First Charles is bored out of his head but the Brockenhurst piques his interest with the mention of Arnoux. There might me a connection to the letter. Furthermore, Brockenhurst appears to propose a somewhat shady deal. You really capture the upper class jargon very well. I love this story. No six left. All best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
-
Thanks very much, Ulla, both for your review and for the suggestion of six-worthiness. I appreciate your comment about the dialogue. All the best, Tony
Comment from royowen
Charles develops a suspicion of the chance meeting with Sir David Brockenhurst, more than coincidence, particularly since he seems to be offering him something shady, indeed a chance connection with a relative of Colonel Arnoux and therefore, a little too much of a coincidence. Well done, Tony, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
|
Charles develops a suspicion of the chance meeting with Sir David Brockenhurst, more than coincidence, particularly since he seems to be offering him something shady, indeed a chance connection with a relative of Colonel Arnoux and therefore, a little too much of a coincidence. Well done, Tony, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2019
-
You are right, There's something distinctly fishy about Sir David. Thanks for the review. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
-
Well done
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written chapter. Finally, on the way home. Meeting a key person in the plot by chance on the train, but discover the envelope and letter is still with Allain.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
|
A very well-written chapter. Finally, on the way home. Meeting a key person in the plot by chance on the train, but discover the envelope and letter is still with Allain.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
-
Many thanks for your review, Sandra. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Tootsie55
Good work once more. I have a play on words with Toulouse Lautrec's name in the Geoffossary of my biography if you care to check it out over in Sankey. I like all the "affectations" of upper class and all that eh! HEHE!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
|
Good work once more. I have a play on words with Toulouse Lautrec's name in the Geoffossary of my biography if you care to check it out over in Sankey. I like all the "affectations" of upper class and all that eh! HEHE!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2019
-
Many thanks for your review, Tootsie. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony