Manja
Till we meet again25 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
I enjoyed reading your little story about Manja the mermaid. It conjured up some nice images and was very atmospheric. I think it would be very suitable for a children's story book. Take care. Jen.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
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I enjoyed reading your little story about Manja the mermaid. It conjured up some nice images and was very atmospheric. I think it would be very suitable for a children's story book. Take care. Jen.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
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Thank you
Comment from apky
You have great ideas for stories, but you really need to work on those niggliy little punctuations. Then you will present excellent work all round.
She the beauty of the sea(delete space) . No longer(delete space) .
It had happened all so sudden(delete space) .
A crab side stepped close to her(delete space) . she had(delete space) , had many dealings with these beach creatures they were friends not foes and had always kept a look out for the humans(delete space) .
She and the crab spoke the same language in a telepathic way(delete space) .
Just then the sound of a dolphin filled the air(delete space) . It was time to go(delete space) .
Manja(delete space) , beautiful m(M)anja(delete space) , now excited to go back to her marine family kissed the crab farewell.
"(delete space) It is you I love(,) not your sister(add comma, and delete space) "
" Till we meet again(add comma and delete space) " she cried (delete-,) as she gave a big splash and disappeared out of sight(add full stop/period)
Crab side stepped under a rock to dream of Manja(delete space) .
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
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You have great ideas for stories, but you really need to work on those niggliy little punctuations. Then you will present excellent work all round.
She the beauty of the sea(delete space) . No longer(delete space) .
It had happened all so sudden(delete space) .
A crab side stepped close to her(delete space) . she had(delete space) , had many dealings with these beach creatures they were friends not foes and had always kept a look out for the humans(delete space) .
She and the crab spoke the same language in a telepathic way(delete space) .
Just then the sound of a dolphin filled the air(delete space) . It was time to go(delete space) .
Manja(delete space) , beautiful m(M)anja(delete space) , now excited to go back to her marine family kissed the crab farewell.
"(delete space) It is you I love(,) not your sister(add comma, and delete space) "
" Till we meet again(add comma and delete space) " she cried (delete-,) as she gave a big splash and disappeared out of sight(add full stop/period)
Crab side stepped under a rock to dream of Manja(delete space) .
Comment Written 20-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for taking the time to help me with the needed editing
Comment from beizanten
A well written beginning that entices their reader to read more. a beautifully written imaginary in paragraph three and four and five. I like that you made them connect telepathically since that is the only way they could connect under the water.
Thank for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
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A well written beginning that entices their reader to read more. a beautifully written imaginary in paragraph three and four and five. I like that you made them connect telepathically since that is the only way they could connect under the water.
Thank for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2018
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Once again thank you so much
Comment from meeshu
This is a pleasure to read. Your writing is smooth and the language is colorful. Very well penned, Jean. Of course to my Italian Father-In-Law, Manja means Eat.................meeshu
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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2018
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This is a pleasure to read. Your writing is smooth and the language is colorful. Very well penned, Jean. Of course to my Italian Father-In-Law, Manja means Eat.................meeshu
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2018
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Thank you . Is Manja an Italian word then ? I am curious as it just came into my head and I have no idea where the word stems from
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yes, I don't know how it's spelled. o.k. I'm back. I looked it up. Mangia is Italian for eat. Manja is sharp string for fighter kites. who knew?
Comment from Wetbelly01
This is quite a fine piece you have here!
I definitely like your concept and the perspective.
I didn't come across any problems along the way.
My compliments, well done!
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2018
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This is quite a fine piece you have here!
I definitely like your concept and the perspective.
I didn't come across any problems along the way.
My compliments, well done!
Comment Written 19-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2018
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Thank you so much for your review and six star rating
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You're very welcome,
they're well earned!