Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 64 "Chapter Zwanzig part eins"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
29 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
I think you captured the characterization well with the gossiping nurses. As usual your chapter is driven by dialog that flows well and enhances characterization all around. Good pacing. No big nits. A couple of small spags:
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"It's me. You're best friend since we were born. Start talking."
Your best friend, not you're
* "Paul's not Jewish(,) and we've made it work.
I like this juxtaposition:
"Not only that, he wears Armani suits. I buy my clothes off the Goodwill rack."
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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I think you captured the characterization well with the gossiping nurses. As usual your chapter is driven by dialog that flows well and enhances characterization all around. Good pacing. No big nits. A couple of small spags:
*
"It's me. You're best friend since we were born. Start talking."
Your best friend, not you're
* "Paul's not Jewish(,) and we've made it work.
I like this juxtaposition:
"Not only that, he wears Armani suits. I buy my clothes off the Goodwill rack."
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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I have made the correction. The you're vs your I can't believe I did that, but I sure did. Thank you.
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It happens sometimes! :-)))
Comment from judiverse
As we see from the conversation Shana overhears, to some women Anderson is to die for--wealthy, good looking. Shana has kept putting up road blocks because of his wealth and religious differences. She cares enough about him to be giving a lot of thought to the matter, although she usually sees only the negatives. Her father is definitely warming up to Anderson, as well he should. The dinner Anderson's planning should be interesting. Anderson has a way of getting what he wants. Excellent movement of the story and characterization. Definitely six stars. judi
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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As we see from the conversation Shana overhears, to some women Anderson is to die for--wealthy, good looking. Shana has kept putting up road blocks because of his wealth and religious differences. She cares enough about him to be giving a lot of thought to the matter, although she usually sees only the negatives. Her father is definitely warming up to Anderson, as well he should. The dinner Anderson's planning should be interesting. Anderson has a way of getting what he wants. Excellent movement of the story and characterization. Definitely six stars. judi
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the generous and encouraging review.
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You're welcome. I really love your story. Who wouldn't like to have an Anderson in her life? judi
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, it's been a long time coming, but I do believe it's getting closer by the minute. Now, I'm just afraid what Benjamin is going to do when he learns there might be more to all this than Anderson just wanting to be helpful. LOL! Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Well, it's been a long time coming, but I do believe it's getting closer by the minute. Now, I'm just afraid what Benjamin is going to do when he learns there might be more to all this than Anderson just wanting to be helpful. LOL! Thanks for sharing another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Benjamin has at least one trick up his sleeve, but it fails. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sis Cat
Oh, those gossiping nurses! In this chapter, Shana shares "a lot of excuses" about why she hesitates marrying Anderson. I feel her inadequacy and trepidation not only because of culture but because of class:
"He pays almost as much in monthly child support and alimony as I make in an entire year."
While Hannah encourages, "If you love and respect each other's culture, you can make it work," class and societal status are other issues that may block Anderson's and Shana's union. This compels me to want to know what will happen.
I missed a couple of chapter, so I resumed your novel with your current chapter. Your writing is still polished and breezy. Your dialogue is good, sounding almost like an old time soap opera radio show. I can hear the voices of characters in my head and imagine them. Your writing is well paced, although I still wonder what will happen to the stolen painting and the Russian mafia, if you have not resolved those story lines already.
Period is needed: I'd like him for my security(.)
Thank you for sharing your entertaining writing. Write on.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Oh, those gossiping nurses! In this chapter, Shana shares "a lot of excuses" about why she hesitates marrying Anderson. I feel her inadequacy and trepidation not only because of culture but because of class:
"He pays almost as much in monthly child support and alimony as I make in an entire year."
While Hannah encourages, "If you love and respect each other's culture, you can make it work," class and societal status are other issues that may block Anderson's and Shana's union. This compels me to want to know what will happen.
I missed a couple of chapter, so I resumed your novel with your current chapter. Your writing is still polished and breezy. Your dialogue is good, sounding almost like an old time soap opera radio show. I can hear the voices of characters in my head and imagine them. Your writing is well paced, although I still wonder what will happen to the stolen painting and the Russian mafia, if you have not resolved those story lines already.
Period is needed: I'd like him for my security(.)
Thank you for sharing your entertaining writing. Write on.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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I will fix that period. Thank you for the kind review. More about the painting coming up. I haven't forgotten about it.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
"What?" Shana's eyes widened. "Are you asking for trouble?" "You heard me." Anderson grinned. I love how you always end on an interesting note. I sadly have had trouble with gossiping nurses my friend nearly knocked one out but that is a different story...most nurses have a very hard job and really are not paid enugh A wonderful write as ever Barabara this is haping up brilliantly kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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"What?" Shana's eyes widened. "Are you asking for trouble?" "You heard me." Anderson grinned. I love how you always end on an interesting note. I sadly have had trouble with gossiping nurses my friend nearly knocked one out but that is a different story...most nurses have a very hard job and really are not paid enugh A wonderful write as ever Barabara this is haping up brilliantly kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the kind review. I have discussed that some people have had issues with gossiping nurses. Anderson will handle them. LOL
Comment from Ulla
Hi Barbara, so Anderson has been smitten for quite some time and so has Shana, although she will not admit it. Well that will change pretty soon, or at least,I hope so. Great new chapter. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Hi Barbara, so Anderson has been smitten for quite some time and so has Shana, although she will not admit it. Well that will change pretty soon, or at least,I hope so. Great new chapter. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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I hope so too. LOL Shana is pretty stubborn, or is she too worried about her father???? Thank youf or the kind review.
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or both!
Comment from royowen
So, the love "affair" is gathering itself to a conclusion one way or another, it's doubtless there are diffences between Anderson and Shana, but Hannah, knows happiness is paramount, and society diffences don't mean much, the painting plot Otis losing steam and the romantic part is gaining, well done Barbara, excellent episode, blessings, Roy
Typo "It('s) fine for the elderly among us to go home."
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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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So, the love "affair" is gathering itself to a conclusion one way or another, it's doubtless there are diffences between Anderson and Shana, but Hannah, knows happiness is paramount, and society diffences don't mean much, the painting plot Otis losing steam and the romantic part is gaining, well done Barbara, excellent episode, blessings, Roy
Typo "It('s) fine for the elderly among us to go home."
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the catch. I hate it when I make such stupid mistakes. I edited this over and over . DARN!!!!
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I'm not exactly perfect dear Barbara, don't fret dear girl, it doesn't diminish your talent whatsoever. Roy
Comment from c_lucas
It seems that Anderson likes to meet his problems head-on. The only time some women check out a man's hips is to judge the size of his wallet. As usual, this is very well written.
Error
"My heart be still." The correct saying is "Be still my heart." (this is dialogue, so it is your choice.)
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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It seems that Anderson likes to meet his problems head-on. The only time some women check out a man's hips is to judge the size of his wallet. As usual, this is very well written.
Error
"My heart be still." The correct saying is "Be still my heart." (this is dialogue, so it is your choice.)
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the kind review. Women do enjoy looking at a man's rear end, just as men do women's.
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When it comes to women, I prefer admiring their upper torsos.
Comment from Sugarray77
I have enjoyed following along with this story. You have developed a good chapter in the continuation of this tale. well done. I'm looking forward to reading more as you deliver them to us.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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I have enjoyed following along with this story. You have developed a good chapter in the continuation of this tale. well done. I'm looking forward to reading more as you deliver them to us.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2018
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Thank you for the kind review.