Perennials of War
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Chapter Elf part drei"Is Anderson a gallant knight? Can he recover Shan
32 total reviews
Comment from rtobaygo
Good morning, Barbara
Strong continuation. The interaction and dialogue between your characters is spot on. There's such a natural flow to the story that draws the reader in. Enjoyed
"Earlier this evening Philip asked why this painting was so important to me when it wasn't to my father." one heck of a hook at the end!
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
  |
Good morning, Barbara
Strong continuation. The interaction and dialogue between your characters is spot on. There's such a natural flow to the story that draws the reader in. Enjoyed
"Earlier this evening Philip asked why this painting was so important to me when it wasn't to my father." one heck of a hook at the end!
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Hope you're enjoying your vacation... glad you can get online. I can understand why the painting is impt to Shana, but not worth risking her life for. Hope it doesn't come to her being harmed... or any of her friends who are helping.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
 |
Hope you're enjoying your vacation... glad you can get online. I can understand why the painting is impt to Shana, but not worth risking her life for. Hope it doesn't come to her being harmed... or any of her friends who are helping.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
I hope so too. Only help I'm getting from my muse is that Shana wants a cat. I'm refuse to have a cat enter the story. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Barb
= Good lead-in to her 'roundabout answer'.
= Looking forward to reading what it is.
= Good chapter.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
|
Hi, Barb
= Good lead-in to her 'roundabout answer'.
= Looking forward to reading what it is.
= Good chapter.
<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers <> Jax / Jackie
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
Good reading as usual. No worries about the couple of spags I picked up. I can't review or correct properly on my mobile so I understand. 2 errors I picked up...The two men followed but remained close[d] to the door
My ancestors w[h]en(t) through so much
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
|
Good reading as usual. No worries about the couple of spags I picked up. I can't review or correct properly on my mobile so I understand. 2 errors I picked up...The two men followed but remained close[d] to the door
My ancestors w[h]en(t) through so much
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
I have made the corrections. Thank you for the kind review.
-
Thanks Barbara please pray Louise is coming home from Hospital on Friday a lot to sort before then.
Comment from rheabug
Thank you for sharing this chapter in you ongoing book. The story line is sobering to me. It is so hard to understand what the Germans did by torturing those who did not fit in with their thinking. Good write, Hugs...
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
|
Thank you for sharing this chapter in you ongoing book. The story line is sobering to me. It is so hard to understand what the Germans did by torturing those who did not fit in with their thinking. Good write, Hugs...
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sis Cat
Chapter reminds me of my father's stolen sculpture the "Detroit Peita" I still want to get back. So Shana's line spoke to me: "My ancestors when through so much to make sure I had freedom and not have to live under tyranny. The very least I can do to repay them is to recover what was stolen."
I imagine myself as Shana recovering my father's stolen sculpture.
What also spoke to me in this chapter was the closeness of the Jewish family. I also noted the custom that an unmarried, unchaperoned woman is not permitted to be behind closed doors with another man who is not her husband. So I noticed this passages such as this one: "The two men followed but remained (close) to the door and Jeff made sure it was left open."
(You misspelled "close.")
This is a fine, transitional chapter in which a teary Shana laid bare her motives for recovering her family's painting.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
|
Chapter reminds me of my father's stolen sculpture the "Detroit Peita" I still want to get back. So Shana's line spoke to me: "My ancestors when through so much to make sure I had freedom and not have to live under tyranny. The very least I can do to repay them is to recover what was stolen."
I imagine myself as Shana recovering my father's stolen sculpture.
What also spoke to me in this chapter was the closeness of the Jewish family. I also noted the custom that an unmarried, unchaperoned woman is not permitted to be behind closed doors with another man who is not her husband. So I noticed this passages such as this one: "The two men followed but remained (close) to the door and Jeff made sure it was left open."
(You misspelled "close.")
This is a fine, transitional chapter in which a teary Shana laid bare her motives for recovering her family's painting.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
I have made the correction. Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from rama devi
It's wonderful how your story can always draw me right in even when I miss so many chapters. Your characters come to life with your fine use of action tags. As usual, well-paced dialog that drives both plot and characterization. A balanced amount of descriptive detail too.
Noticed a few minor nits:
*
"Correct.(,)" Shana continued, "T(t)he inmates worked twelve hour days at hard physical work,
*no need for speech tag here:
With her elbows bent and her hands spread out, Shana said, "As you can see, I'm fine."
Suggest trimming to:
She bent her elbows and spread out her hands. "As you can see, I'm fine."
*
"Go on in. The lady invited you(,) and I'm chaperoning." Helen entered.
*
"Earlier this evening(,) Philip asked why this painting was so important to me when it wasn't to my father."
*
"I have a roundabout answer(,) but it's the only answer I have.
*My ancestors when(went not when) through so much to make sure I had freedom and not have to live under tyranny.
Good chapter. One feels their concern for her...and the subtle tension.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
|
It's wonderful how your story can always draw me right in even when I miss so many chapters. Your characters come to life with your fine use of action tags. As usual, well-paced dialog that drives both plot and characterization. A balanced amount of descriptive detail too.
Noticed a few minor nits:
*
"Correct.(,)" Shana continued, "T(t)he inmates worked twelve hour days at hard physical work,
*no need for speech tag here:
With her elbows bent and her hands spread out, Shana said, "As you can see, I'm fine."
Suggest trimming to:
She bent her elbows and spread out her hands. "As you can see, I'm fine."
*
"Go on in. The lady invited you(,) and I'm chaperoning." Helen entered.
*
"Earlier this evening(,) Philip asked why this painting was so important to me when it wasn't to my father."
*
"I have a roundabout answer(,) but it's the only answer I have.
*My ancestors when(went not when) through so much to make sure I had freedom and not have to live under tyranny.
Good chapter. One feels their concern for her...and the subtle tension.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2017
-
Now I am all caught up. Thank you.
-
welcome :)
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Barbara.
It's very good to be able to keep up with you. Things are looking up lol.
"Jeff walked beside him. "It's(it) still looks like we're checking on her."
"Would you like for(-for) me to sit with you?"
"It's been my experience when a female says she's fine, she(she's) anything but fine." Jeff scanned the room."
"The two men followed but remained closed(close) to the door and Jeff made sure it was left open."
A very good chapter, mate. The sentimental value of the painting, under the circumstances would be enough for me to want it back. Let's see what happens next.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
|
G'day Barbara.
It's very good to be able to keep up with you. Things are looking up lol.
"Jeff walked beside him. "It's(it) still looks like we're checking on her."
"Would you like for(-for) me to sit with you?"
"It's been my experience when a female says she's fine, she(she's) anything but fine." Jeff scanned the room."
"The two men followed but remained closed(close) to the door and Jeff made sure it was left open."
A very good chapter, mate. The sentimental value of the painting, under the circumstances would be enough for me to want it back. Let's see what happens next.
Great job.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the catches. I have made the corrections.
Comment from Ben Colder
I have been all over Germany. Eleven years after the war I served with the 8th Infantry. Much about stolen art and this is right on with interest. Good character work. Another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
|
I have been all over Germany. Eleven years after the war I served with the 8th Infantry. Much about stolen art and this is right on with interest. Good character work. Another fine chapter.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
Thank you for the kind review. I loved out two tours in Germany. My oldest son is stationed there now.
Comment from c_lucas
Is Jane the head of the household staff? Since Jeff is head of security, his job definition would not come under "Household Staff. This is confusing to me. Other than that, this is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
|
Is Jane the head of the household staff? Since Jeff is head of security, his job definition would not come under "Household Staff. This is confusing to me. Other than that, this is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 17-Jul-2017
-
They're one big family and even though they have their jobs they stick their noses into other's business. Thank you for the kind review.
-
You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie